Kingdom Hearts III: Link to Life
by No Limit 5
Summary: PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE!
1. Prologue

NL: Hi! This is a remake of my very first fanfic. Please, no flames.

Disclaimer: This is going to be a long fic so I'm only going to say this once. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Warner Bros., Disney or anything else I use that isn't the latter. The only thing I own is this story and the characters Rika, Kuro and No Limit. No Limit's teammates are based and created by my friends.

_**Prologue**_

_Heart…_

_Body…_

_Soul…_

_Three different components…_

_Three different definitions…_

_Three different abilities…_

_All significant…_

_This is what a young 14-year old girl is about to learn. And through her journey, she shall discover new allies…new friends…new enemies…new lands…and most importantly…discover who she will be…_

_Perhaps you'll like to hear the tale?_

_Well now…it begins 24 years after another story has ended…_

_**A-A-A**_

Rika opened her eyes and saw that she was sinking into the ocean. She gasped, but realized that she is still breathing. It couldn't be underwater. More like a sea of shadows. She wasn't sure what was going on. Was this a dream? Or something else? Somehow though……it was so familiar…Finally, she came to a stop and landed gently on her feet, but all around her was shadows. But then, something started to come off the ground all around her and fly away. She saw that they were doves.

By the time all the doves had flown away, an image on the ground had been revealed. Rika looked down to see it was like a round stained-glass window. The picture on it was a familiar boy with brown spiky hair, holding a key-like weapon. Next to him were smaller pictures of a boy with white hair, a girl with red hair, a duck, and a dog.

She stood on this image, admiring it. _Wow_, she thought. _Isn't that……my dad? And mom, and Riku. Donald and Goofy too._

Rika gazed at the younger versions of her family, but most of all at the image of her father. That must have been what he looked like at her age. She thought about her own appearance. Her clothes were much different than what her father used to wear. While he wore baggy red pants, oversized shoes, a shirt and a jacket, she wore blue jeans, brown shoes, a blue t-shirt with a hood and a pair of black fingerless-gloves.

But she could see that her father's features, as well as her mother's, have resembled her own. Her eyes were the same blue as her parent's and her hair was a reddish brown, a mix of her father's brown hair and her mother's red hair. Her hair was long and it hung around her shoulders.

Rika could have stared at the image all day, but heard a voice…one she couldn't identify, yet was again oddly familiar. Like an old friend.

_Rika, your journey will begin soon. But first you must prepare. You will need to decide what your strength is._

Rika looked behind herself and saw three weapons seated on pedestals. A sword, a shield, and a wand. Each held a grey insignia of a silhouetted rabbit. She walked over to the sword and took it in her hand. She heard the voice again.

_The path of the warrior. Strong and courageous. But be careful, for power can easily overtake someone with a weak heart. Do you choose this power?_

Rika wasn't exactly sure if she was strong enough to wield it, but she grew firm; know that if she believed in herself she could handle it. She nodded and the sword disappeared, but she knew it would be there when she needed it.

She knew somehow that she must decide on a power to give up. She walked over to the wand and picked it up next.

_The path of sorcerer, the path of an ancient art. But be warned, it is a mysterious path, and sometimes treacherous. Do you give up this power?_

She nodded once again, and the wand disappeared, as did its pedestal. Finally, she picked up the shield.

_The path of the guardian, the strength to defend all you hold dear. But also, this strength can repel those close to you. This power will assist you on your journey._

Rika was glad of that. She knew giving up magic was no big deal, as she had trained in magic with Donald, Merlin, and even Master Yen Sid. She would need defense and offense for what lay ahead. But……what _does_ lie ahead?

The voice spoke again.

_There will be times when you must fight, but don't be afraid…_

Rika sensed a presence behind her and turned to see a shadowy being. She instinctively prepared to fight and the sword appeared in her hands. She swung the blade at the creature and it dissipated. She turned and saw a door appear in front of her. She walked up to it and was about to open it when she heard the voice again.

_This door is the first of many you must go through. Are you ready for what lies beyond?_

Rika took a deep breath and bravely nodded yes and opened the door. She walked through and entered a place similar to the last, except for the ground which held three images. One, a black heart with an "X" in it. The other, an upside-down white heart topped with a cross shape. And finally…the last image was a cross between the two. The top being the heart with the "X". And the bottom being a white cross.

Suddenly, Rika felt a tremor. She looked up and saw two large figures appear. One was shadowy, with bright yellow eyes and a heart-shaped hole in its middle. The other was dressed in a baggy white outfit with a blue scarf flowing through an imaginary wind.

She knew immediately that those two beings were a Heartless and a Nobody. Specifically, a Darkside Heartless and a Twilight Torn Nobody.

Rika held her sword bravely and prepared to fight the two, when suddenly the white creature seemed to go flat, as though all it was the baggy outfit with nothing inside. The white material wrapped around the shadowy creature, and the two seemed to merge together. Now, instead of the two large creatures, one gigantic creature stood in front of Rika.

It looked like a mummy, wrapped in white material, and what little you could see beneath the wrappings was pure shadow. One ghastly yellow eye was visible, and it glared at her. Not wanting to wait any longer. She lunged at the creature and swung her sword.

The creature tried blocking, but she slashed at it several times. Rika stepped back momentarily to catch her breath, but had to jump out of the way of a blast of dark energy from the creature. But it grabbed a hold of her! She tried to break free, but its grip was too tight. The being threw her into the air and was about to send another blast of dark energy. Luckily, she threw her sword at the blast and it exploded. The creature then collapsed…and falling right towards her!

Rika jumped out of the way just in time, only to suddenly find she was sinking in a pool of darkness. She struggled, but it was no use. She started to panic until she heard the voice again.

_The darkness may seem overwhelming at times, Rika, but don't be afraid…_

_Darkness is nothing more than the absence of light. Light which you possess…_

_But than too much Light can be dangerous too…_

_Your journey begins soon, Rika. It will seem long, yet time will pass swiftly. It will seem hard, but you will make it through with ease._

_Rika…_

All Rika could see now was darkness, and all she could hear was the voice.

_Remember Rika…_

_You are the one…_

_The one who will create the link…_

…_the link to all…_

**_Kingdom Hearts III: Link to Life_**


	2. Beginnings

NL: Well, I hope the prologue has got you wanting more!!!

Anyway…I officially hate the name Anne. I'm changing her name to Rika (**Which is Japanese for link.**). BTW if you want to know what she looks like, picture Rika from Digimon's third season. I based her look on her.

_**Chapter 1: Beginnings**_

Rika opened her eyes slightly and sat up, taking in the sight of the beach where she now napped. She was told her father had used to fall asleep here too. Rika just supposed she'd inherited her father's love of napping on the beach. Napping…that sounded good. Despite the fact she'd already slept a good while. She stretched a bit and laid back down on the sand and started drifting back to sleep.

But her rest was interrupted by a sudden noise…

"Rika!"

Rika jumped and sat up immediately, now wide awake from the shock. She looked around and saw a boy standing above her. "Sleeping again, huh?" he asked, shaking his head. "Jeez, don't you get enough sleep at night? Or are you just lazy?"

"Give me a break, Kuro," she replied with a yawn. "I was just having a dream. That's all." She looked up at her life-long friend. Kuro, the son of her father's friend Riku, was 15, and looked almost exactly like his father did at that age. The only real difference was his hair, which was a dark black instead of silver. He wore dark black jeans, grey shoes, a white t-shirt, and a faded light blue jacket.

"What were you dreaming about?" Kuro asked.

"Oh," Rika shook her head and turned her attention away from Kuro to the calming ocean. "Well, it was pretty weird. A lot of stuff was going on, but I'm not sure what any of it meant."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Kuro shrugged. "Anyway, we'd better go meet up with our parents. School's starting tomorrow and still need to get our supplies."

"School?!" Rika gasped. "I completely forgot!"

"Well get your butt in gear!" Kuro said as he ran off.

"Wait up!" Rika laughed as she ran after him and the two raced down the beach, just as their parents had done nearly twenty years before.

_**LTL-LTL-LTL**_

Meanwhile, somewhere in another world far beyond the boundaries of the Destiny Islands, something important was about to happen that will surely affect the people and creatures that lived there. One of the creatures was walking through the forest humming a tune entitled "The Marry-Go-Round Broke Down". It was an anthropomorphic duck with black feathers, an orange bill and orange webbed feet with a white collar around his neck. He passed by a sign that said, "Looney Tune Land: Home of Warner Bros. most beloved stars: the Looney Tunes. Population: 106 and counting. Anything can happen here!"

The duck, known to everyone as Daffy Duck began to sing, "_Oh, people call me Daffy. They say that I am goony. Just because I'm happy is no sign I'm Looney Tuney!_"

He made his way through the bushes jumping out onto the grass carrying a bottle of ketchup in one hand and an umbrella in another.

"_When they say I'm nutsy, it sure gives me a pain. Please pass the ketchup; I think it's going to rain!_"

He threw the ketchup bottle and the umbrella behind him and jumped into a lake. He was a water fowl after all. He continued to sing as he swam, "_Oh, you can't bounce a meatball. Though try with all your might. Turn on the radio; I want to fly a kite!_" He put out his arms all dramatic like and sang like he was a crooner, "Good evening, friends!"

Daffy's singing came to a sudden halt as gunfire boomed throughout the forest. Daffy got an alarmed look on his face and in logic you only see in cartoons, jumped up in the air with his feet running like mad and zoomed off leaving a cloud of smoke behind that formed into letters saying, "See you later!"

Daffy swam as fast as he could so he could reach land. When he did, he kept swimming leaving a trail of dirt in the ground not realizing he was out of the water. He didn't see where he was going and hit his head on a tree. An oversized lump came on his head and he saw little stars spinning around in his daze. Daffy quickly shook off the feeling to get his senses back and stood up. More gunfire was heard and he started running away in hopes that he wouldn't get shot. He screeched to a halt for a minute to look at you, the readers.

"I'll be with you in just a second, folks," Daffy said. "First I need to find a place where I'll be safe from the Daniel Boobs who are guns-a-blazing."

More gunfire rang through the forest and Daffy jerked his head down as a bullet almost hit him between the eyes. More bullets were fired and he made another run for it. Daffy dodged and jumped over bullets that were shot while he ran. It wasn't easy being a duck living in the middle of the forest. It was a common place for hunters to look for a wild game during the open season. In a bit of a twist, Daffy usually turned the tables on the hunters, getting the better of them to avoid getting killed. He still got shot on occasion though, but usually he was more embarrassed than hurt, so he survived another day. He kept running and went head first into a rabbit hole. The hole was peculiar, as it had a mail box above it with the name "Bugs Bunny" on it.

Daffy, now in the rabbit hole with his back against the wall, was panting heavily. He wiped the sweat off his face with a sigh of relief as he lost the hunters. For the time being at least. Daffy got annoyed look on his face as he walked through the hole. It had furniture in it that you would normally find inside a house. A couch, a television, a fireplace, a potted plant, (in this case a small tree with carrots growing out of it) a bookshelf with many books on it, a recliner, a carpet on the floor, a shower with tiles and two towels on a rack, one said "His" the other said "Hares", a bed with white comforters on it and with the initials, BB, on the end of it, a table, and a small kitchen with a fridge and a stove.

"What a revolting development this is!" Daffy exclaimed with a lisp. He often spat with his tongue when ever he had to use words with S sounds in them, "I should've known better than to have agreed to watch over this stinkin' rabbit hole! Normally, I don't mind looking after his home and checking his mail while he's gone and won't be back for an extended period, but he did his most recent one at the worst possible time…Hunting season!"

Daffy put his hands on his face and just dragged them down making his beak wave like a diving board as his fingers let go. He paced back and forth waving his hands back and forth in an exaggerated motion. "He just had to leave during the one time he and I both have it worst in the woods. And without a rabbit I can point the fingers to in hopes no one would shoot me, I'm on the hunters most wanted list ready to be their Sunday's supper!"

"Mail call!" a voice shouted from above ground.

"Aha!" Daffy said in a now calm tone. "Just as I anticipated. The postal services have dropped off their supply. Time to collect it," Daffy climbed up the latter, but stopped about half way, "Now hold on, duck. Hunters could still be out there. You have to be quick like a fox, sneaky like a snake and swift like an eagle." Daffy quickly whooshed up and back down again in the blink of an eye, now with letters in his hand. He checked each envelope with his finger like the paper was a flipbook and looked them over.

"Bill, bill, junk, junk, bill, bill, junk, you may have already one thirty seven million carrots," he said to himself as he read the print. He snorted at the next one exasperated, "Great! A letter from the save the sea monkey's foundation!" What that was doing in the mail, Daffy had no idea. One letter caught his interest. "Oh, what's this?" On the back it had a seal that was shaped like a head with rabbit ears.

"The seal of Bugs Bunny," Daffy guessed right away.

He quickly tore open the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper that was inside. Daffy read what was written, muttering to himself as he did. At first he just shrugged it off like it was nothing and walked off throwing the paper behind him. The paper slowly floated in the air. Just before it landed on the ground, Daffy's arm stretched out like a rubber band and caught the letter in his hand (Hey! That rhymes!). His pupils bugged out and stretched his eyes out not taking them off the letter. The rest of his body came into alignment and he quickly read through the letter again with a worried look on his face.

What he double checked and now understood made him shocked and surprised. Daffy was jaw dropped. So jaw dropped that it went straight to the floor, literally, stretching his mouth open a couple of feet. When his jaw came back up, the force knocked his eyeballs off. Soon his whole body fell apart into pieces on the floor like he became disassembled.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Daffy screamed as he ran out of the rabbit hole and out into the horizon. A circle did an iris out making the sound of "Bo-whoop!"

A few minutes later in the suburbs, Daffy was running down the dirt path in the park. He passed trees, he passed a fountain, he passed pedestrians and he passed pigeons. What he didn't pass for was a picnic table with various foods on it. He grabbed a sandwich and quickly chewed it up and swallowed it down before running again. Over between two trees, an anthropomorphic pig was sleeping on a hammock. He had pointy pig's ears, pig's feet with small black hooves, and pink skin. The only clothing he wore was a blue jacket and a red bow tie. Daffy ran over to him and started poking his head.

"Porky! Wake up! We got a small problem here!" Daffy yelled trying to wake him up. "Actually, a big small problem!" Porky wasn't waking up. Daffy then knocked on his head like a door. "Hey! Sir, pork-a-lot! Rise and swine! Porky! Porky!" Porky still wouldn't get up. Daffy then pulled out an alarm clock. "This should wake him up!" Daffy then did the unexpected and hit him on the head with the clock over and over again. He looked to you, the readers and said, "Well, how did you expect me to use it?" Daffy threw the clock away as Porky still wouldn't wake up. He was dead asleep. Daffy got another idea and chuckled mischievously. He pulled out a pack of matches, took one out and put it under Porky's foot, "This'll fix his little red wagon!" Daffy took out another match and lit on fire. He used it to light the match under Porky's foot. Daffy was giving him a hot foot! It proved a useful tactic, as Porky suddenly jumped high into the air.

"YEOW!" Porky screamed.

Daffy watched as Porky went up and then all the way back down into the hammock. When Porky landed on the hammock, it spun around twisting and tightening with Porky tied in it. The hammock then untwisted itself spinning around and Porky fell on the ground. The pig shook his head wildly shaking off hid daze and looked up to see Daffy standing next to him.

"Oh! H-hello, D-D-Daffy," Porky greeted with a grunt that to a normal person sounded like a stutter. "G-g-g-good morning."

"Don't give me any of that good morning stuff!" Daffy snapped. "Something serious has come up, butterball!" Daffy looked to the left and right of him to make sure no one was around. He put up his hand near his beak and whispered to Porky, "Just don't go around telling anybody. Okay?"

"L-L-Lola Bunny?" Porky asked. He looked like he wasn't paying attention to Daffy.

"Nope, not even the girl rabbit!" Daffy said sternly with his hands on his hips.

"M-M-Melissa?" Porky asked. He still looked like he was distracted by something, but Daffy thought he was still talking to him.

"Absolutely Nuh-uh!" Daffy snapped, shaking his head. "It's as top secret as top secrets can get!"

Porky saw someone standing behind Daffy and waved hello to them, "G-g-good morning, to you girls."

Daffy finally understood what Porky was saying. Porky wasn't talking to him; the two people he just mentioned were standing right behind him. Daffy got a nervous look on his face. He looked at you, the readers again and held up a sign that read, "You all saw this coming, didn't you?" Daffy slowly turned around and saw Lola Bunny and his girlfriend, the fare Melissa. Lola was as anthropomorphic as Daffy and Porky were. She had brown fur, white fur on her feet, as well as from the bottom half her face reaching down to her stomach and back to the back of her fluffy tail, and pink skin in the insides of her ears. She had a little pink nose, eyes with blue iris', and blond hair. Her buckteeth stuck out of her mouth. She wore white gloves, purple gym shorts, a yellow tank top and a purple band in her hair. Melissa was a duck like Daffy with yellowish orange feathers, an orange beak with orange legs and webbed feet, and blond hair. She also wore a blue dress.

Melissa cleared her throat and put her hand on her hips a bit disappointed at Daffy causing him to laugh a bit nervously.

"Okay, Daffy. What emergency is so serious that you can't tell us about?" Lola asked referring to overhearing the conversation to him and Porky.

Daffy was a bit lost for words trying to come up with an answer, "Well, toots…it's like this……um………how should I explain this?"

"L-l-looks like there's no backing ou-ou-ou, looks like there's no way out for you, Daffy," Porky said. He was at times the cool observer to Daffy's Looney nature.

Daffy shot a glare at the pig and said in a low voice, "You're deth-picable…"

_**End of Chapter 1**_

NL: Well there you have it! The first chapter and it was handled well I believe!


	3. Another Star is Going Out

NL: I hoped you enjoyed that last chapter of crazy Looney Tuney-ness!

_**Chapter 2: Another Star is Going Out**_

It was at the end of the day. Rika collapsed onto her bed. The whole afternoon has been fun yet exhausting. She spent it shopping for school supplies and her school's uniform with her parents, Kuro and his father. Rika loved being with her family and friends. They would always go into stories of the old days when they were still young, traveling to different worlds, the friends they made and they adventures they had. But of course, they did occasionally hop onto a gummi ship and see their friends.

Rika sat at her window and looked up at the stars, as she did every night. But there was something strange about one star tonight. It seemed to flicker and fade in and out. Finally, it disappeared altogether, as though it had never existed. "What the?" Rika said, as she stared at the blank spot where the star had once been. "The star went out? How is that possible? Besides the fact that stars eventually burn out by themselves…What do you know?! I just answered my own question!" She looked out over the ocean and noticed an odd black mist had settled, shrouding the island so that she could barely see it. Just as Rika was about to find her parents to tell them about it she heard a knock at the door. She ran downstairs and opened it and was surprised to see who was there.

"Mickey!" she called, hugging the anthropomorphic mouse in front of her. She looked up to see Goofy and Donald were with him. She tackled all three of them in a hug which they gladly returned. "What're you doing here?" she asked, finally releasing them.

"I'm afraid we're not here about for a visit," Mickey replied apologetically. "Something's going on, and we need to talk to your parents about it."

Later, after Sora, Kairi, Riku, and Kuro had joined them. After all these years, he still retained his youthful nature and looks. His hair is as spiky as ever and still wore oversized shoes. THAT Rika couldn't figure out why. (**Do you mind if I could just leave out what they wear? I just SUCK at thinking up clothes!!! Call it my writer's weakness.**) Kairi was as beautiful as ever with her hair just a wee bit longer. And Riku the same.

"It's great to see you guys again!" Sora pulled Donald and Goofy into a group hug.

"Good to see you too, Sora. Hyuck!" Goofy smiled.

"I'm afraid we don't have time for greetings," Mickey said dejectedly.

"Why, Mickey?" Riku asked. "What's up?"

"I'm afraid what we've been expecting…has happened," Mickey said. Rika and Kuro couldn't but help wonder what he was talking about.

"What do mean?" Kairi asked fearfully.

"Remember that letter I sent you years ago?"

Sora, Riku and Kairi gasped. "So the walls have been destroyed by them?!" Sora gasped.

"I'm afraid so," Mickey looked down and sighed. "Have any of you noticed anything unusual?" Sora and the others shook their heads, except for Rika.

"I have," she said. "Just before you got here, I saw a star go out." The others' jaws dropped.

"But don't that mean a world's disappeared?" Goofy asked to Donald. Donald nodded.

"If a world's disappeared," Mickey continued. "Then the Heartless must also be involved."

"The Heartless?!" Sora exclaimed. "But I thought we'd beaten them when we beat Xemnas!"

"Darkness lives in every heart," Riku said. "The Heartless will always exist as long as there are those willing to submit to the Darkness."

"But who could be controlling them?" Kairi asked. "Maleficent?"

Mickey shook his head. "I'm not sure. But whoever they are, they must be planning something. And I'm sorry to say that I have to bring you to find them."

Sora and the others nodded and prepared to leave. Rika was more than ready to go with them but Sora stopped her. "Rika, stay here," he ordered.

"What?! Why?!" Rika protested. "I can help you!"

"I know, but I want you to stay here where it's safe, okay?"

"But, Dad…"

"No buts," Kairi said firmly. "We need you to stay here Rika, okay?"

"Oh…" Rika lowered her head and sighed. "Okay. I'll stay here."

Sora and Kairi smiled and hugged her. "You stay here too Kuro," Riku added. "Someone needs to stay behind and take care of Rika."

"But…" Kuro would have objected, but one look from Riku was enough. "…Fine."

"All right then," Sora stood up boldly. "Let's go!"

Sora and the others ran out the door to Mickey's gummi ship leaving Rika and Kuro alone. "Argh!" Rika pouted. "It's not fair! Why should they get to go but we have to stay here!"

Rather than answer, Kuro just remained silent, thinking.

_**LTL-LTL-LTL**_

_Daffy, ___

Sorry to rush off and leave you to tend to my hole during hunting season. Got blasted yet? Anyway, not sure why, but the stars have been blinking out, one by one. And that means disaster can't be far behind. I hate to leave you all but I've gotta go check into it. There's someone with a "key"…the key to our survival…Okay, now I'm coping Mickey's letter. That somebody's key is actually a weapon known as the Keyblade. So I need you and Porky to find him, and stick with him. Got it? We need that key or we're doomed! So go to Traverse Town and find No Limit. He'll tell more on this, cuz I think I'm being followed…So long, Screwy, see you in St. Louie!

_The Academy Award-Winning Rabbit, Bugs Bunny._

P.S.

Would ya apologize to Lola for me? Thanks pal.

"Oh, dear!" Melissa gasped. "What does this mean?!"

The Looney Tune gang was back at Bugs' hole as Daffy read the letter them. Lola took the letter from a Daffy and reread it. "It means…we'll just have to trust Bugs," Lola sighed.

"Gee," Porky put his hand to his chin. "I hope he's all ri-ri-ri, not hurt in any way."

"Aw," Daffy waved his hand. "Don't worry. We'll find bunny boy and this 'Keyblade.'"

"You better," Lola glared at Daffy and Porky. "Cause if you don't, I'll be having some roast duck and pig tonight!" Daffy and Porky gulped nervously and nodded hastily. "Oh, and to chronicle your travels, they will go with you."

Daffy took a look around the rabbit hole and didn't spot a single person. "Uh…is your brain alright, rabbit girl? Cuz I don't see……"

"HIIIIIIIII!!!" three anthropomorphic creature hung upside down and got up in Daffy's face.

"**AHHHHHHHHH!!!**" Daffy screamed as he zoomed into the air and slammed his head into the ceiling, getting it stuck there.

The three creatures got down and landed on their feet. They all had black fur, white gloves and faces with red noses that are similar to a clown's and were brother and sister. The oldest was also the tallest and he only wore a pair of brown slacks. The middle child wore a blue shirt and a backward red cap. The youngest child was the smallest and wore a pink skirt and had a yellow flower to tie her hair…ears…whatever…together.

"Who are you?" Porky asked as he grabbed a latter and pulled Daffy out of the ceiling.

"We thought you'll never ask!" the youngest sibling smiled.

"We're the Warner Brothers!" the oldest and middle child declared as they placed their arms around their shoulders.

"And the Warner Sister!" the youngest added.

"Yakko!" the oldest shouted.

"Wakko!" the middle child added.

"Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca...the Third" the youngest smiled. "But you can call me Dot!"

"Oh no," Daffy gasped as he emptied the dirt out of his ears. "Not them! Anybody but them! Why do you think the Studio keeps them locked in the Warner Tower?!?!"

"Aw," Yakko, Wakko and Dot pulled Daffy into a bone-crushing hug. "You're our new special friend!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Daffy screamed a scream that can be heard from even another world.

"Well," Porky turned back to the girls. "We better ge-ge-ge, leave and get to Traverse Town."

"Be careful, boys," Lola said.

"And don't do anything stupid," Melissa sighed.

Later, Daffy, Porky and the Warners walked into another part of the rabbit hole. "So how are we get-get-get arriving at our destination?" Porky asked.

"Why, with my spaceship!" Daffy answered.

"You have a spaceship?" Porky deadpanned.

"Why of course! I am after all……DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24 AND A HALF CENTURY!!!" Daffy roared as he held his finger up in the air and struck a heroic pose with a bright light shot out in the background.

"Where did the light come from?" Dot asked.

"Yo!" Wakko waved to you, the readers.

"Right," Porky rolled his eyes. "You stole it from the set?"

"Right!" Daffy smiled as he pulled out a remote with a big red button on and pushed it. One of the walls of the hole started to lift into the air to reveal a futuristic spaceship, launch bay and a balcony control area where an anthropomorphic brown coyote was at.

"Faboo," Wakko gaped in awe.

Daffy walked over to a telephone and picked up the receiver. "Hello? Daffy Duck/Duck Dodgers to launch crew! Anytime you're ready……………………Hurry up! We don't have all day! Why won't you answer?! What's the matter?! Cat got your tongue!"

"Eh, coyotes don't talk, Daffy," Porky said

"So can't duck and pigs, but here we are," Daffy hung up.

"Mheep, mheep!"

"**YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!**" Daffy screamed and shot to the ceiling again. Behind him was a large blue/purple roadrunner.

"Hey, Roadrunner," Porky greeted the bird. Roadrunner held out his wing and handed Porky a piece of paper. "Thanks."

"Mheep, mheep!" Roadrunner nodded as he took off with a trail of smoke left behind it.

Porky gave the paper a look see. "Hey look, Daffy! Wily says we have to wa-wa-wa, use our feet to get to the ship."

"Fantastic," Daffy groaned with a thumbs up through the ceiling.

Daffy, Porky, Yakko, Wakko and Dot got into their seats of the ship and Porky did some button pushing on the control panel. "Alright. We're ready to g-g-g, to take off."

"Beginning countdown," Yakko stated. "10…9…8…7…"

"BLAST OFF!!!" Daffy slammed his fist on a large red button. And just like Donald and Goofy before them, they took off in a comical manor. Their ship blew up.

"Easy peezy, lemon squeezy," Daffy's head rolled around his neck with stars going around his head.

_**DI-DI-DI**_

Rika sat on her bed, feeling useless that there was a new evil in the universe and is useless to do anything about it. Being sick of the uselessness, she jumped out of her bed and walked out of her house. She just needed some air. It was a dark night. A very abnormal. There was no tropical wind. No hot air. As a matter of fact, there was no sound at all and Rika could feel a chill down her spine. "What's up with this weather? And did I just hear someone shouting, 'NOOOOOOOOO!!!'?"

"Yes what?" a sinister voice said, seemingly out of no-where. Rika gasped and tried to find the source of the voice but saw nothing.

"Show yourself!" Rika shouted bravely, even though she was terrified on the inside.

"Calm yourself, is that any way to greet your father's old friend?"

"Old friend…?" Rika asked. "Who are you?!"

"Didn't he tell you? I'm hurt. After all, if it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't be alive today."

"What?" Rika asked as she had a confused look on her face.

"No matter. Now, after all these years my revenge will be complete!" A huge green fire appeared in front of Rika and a dark figure began to emerge from the mist…

Kuro tapped his foot as he stood in his living room, feeling rather uncomfortable that his family and friends were off try to defeat this new evil and was worried if they'll be alright Kuro looked out the window with a worried look on his face. "Something's wrong…" he whispered and walked out the door.

Rika gasped as she realized who the figure was. Her father has always spoken ill on this person. For it was……Maleficent! "What…what are you doing here?" Rika stared at Maleficent. "My dad defeated you!

Maleficent scoffed. "If he had defeated me, why have I returned? And now I will have my revenge. Where is he?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Maleficent," Rika smiled. "But my parents and Riku have already left."

"What?" Maleficent growled. "They think that there's an evil greater than I?!"

"You seriously got to get your ego deflated," Rika rolled her eyes.

"You impotent…! No matter. I shall have my revenge. And you all will soon bow to me!" the dark leader of the Heartless laughed evilly. "Now this world will end. Such a shame that my enemy's child will go with it!" With that said, Maleficent disappeared in another blast of green flame. And suddenly, several Shadow Heartless appeared out of shadows on the ground.

"Heartless!" Rika gasped. She started to run away, but the Heartless were hot on her trail. She looked back for only a second, but accidentally tripped and fell to the ground. She turn around just as one Shadow pounced. She held up her arm to defend herself when……

A bright light surrounded her. She had to shut her eyes from such a light. When the light disappeared, Rika opened her eyes and lowered her arm. All the Heartless has disappeared! "What in the world?" Rika couldn't understand how the Heartless left…until she saw what was in her left hand. A Keyblade! An exact duplicate of Sora's. How did she get a Keyblade?

Suddenly the ground began to shake, as a giant monster appeared in front of Rika. It was the same monster from her dream! Finally, it dawned on Rika. The Keyblade had chosen her father when he was needed, so perhaps it was her turn. Without another thought, she jumped up and swung the Keyblade at the monster, slashing at its arm, then its chest. Rika managed to make several blows, but nothing seemed to work. Then she remembered something Phil had once said during one of her visits to Olympus Coliseum. "_When facing a large enemy, attack the eyes. No one can train their eyes._"

Armed with her new strategy, Rika jumped up and aimed for the creature's yellow eyes. With this final blow, the monster fell and disappeared. But the ground began shaking again and Rika almost fell over, but someone caught her…She looked up and smiled to see Kuro.

"Where have you been?" she asked as she smacked the upside of his head. "I could have really used your help back there!"

"I know," Kuro replied. "Sorry…and OW! Anyway, now the Heartless are attacking. It's not safe here anymore."

"What are we going to do?"

Kuro pointed behind Rika, and she turned to see a gummi ship floating nearby. "I brought the gummi ship so we could escape."

"Escape? You mean the Heartless are…"

"Rika," Kuro interrupted. "There's nothing we can do."

Kuro led Rika to the Gummi ship and helped her in, but before he could get in they became surrounded by Heartless. "You get going!" Kuro demanded. "I'll hold them off!"

"But Kuro, what about you?" Rika asked worriedly.

"It doesn't matter. You have the Keyblade. If they get a hold of it there won't be any hope. Don't worry, I'll be fine. We'll see each other again."

"But Kuro…" Before she could continue Kuro activated the Gummi ship and closed the door. He watched as the ship flew off and attacked the group of Heartless so they couldn't follow. Rika tried to turn the ship around, but found it had been preset on auto-pilot to Traverse Town. Rika sank to her knees, crying. Her home was going to be destroyed and her life-long friend was down there. She started feeling the uselessness again…along with another emotion: Hopelessness.

_**End of Chapter 2**_

NL: I destroyed Destiny Islands…WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?!?!


	4. Weird Friends

NL: I would like to apologize for rushing Rika's scenes in last chapter. I just really want to get through the boring stuff and get to meet the crew members!

_**Chapter 3: Weird Friends**_

Daffy, Porky and the Warners were finally able to get off their world and make it to Traverse Town. Yeah, I don't believe it either. As Daffy, Yakko, Wakko and Dot were walking ahead, Porky looked up to the star-lit sky and saw one of the stars started blinking.

"Gu-gu-gu-guys, a star's going out!" Porky gasped as he pointed up. Daffy, Yakko, Wakko and Dot stopped dead in their tracks and also gazed up in horror as the star finally blinked out of existence.

"Come on," Daffy waved for them to follow. "This only means we have to hurry up and find this key guy. Move it, troops!"

Yakko, Wakko and Dot zipped next to Daffy in army outfits, complete with boots and helmets. "Sir! Yes, sir!" they saluted. "Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!" they marched in a straight line, by age order, to the second district. Daffy and Porky followed, bringing up the rear.

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Rika awoke from sleep on the gummi ship. She yawned a bit as she rubbed her eyes. She looked out the window and saw that the ship has landed in Traverse Town. The very first world her father went to at the very beginning of his journey. She also knew that Traverse Town was created from fragments of the worlds destroyed by the Heartless and it served as a home for people who manage to escape the destruction of their own worlds. She was now like them. Separated from her family and friends and now had to figure out what to do next.

Rika opened the door and hopped out. She was in the first district and looked around, unsure of what to do. She spotted a restaurant nearby with a sign in neon lights over it that read, "_Bender's_". Rika walked in, hoping to find someone that could help her. Inside was like a diner. And it was completely empty except behind the counter was a grey-colored robot. His torso and head was cylinder-shaped. On his torso was a chest cabinet. His eyes were glass and pupils were square. His mouth was square and had two horizontal lines that intercepted with four vertical lines. Rika guess that they were supposed to serve as lips and teeth. On his head was a small antenna with a small sphere. On his shoulder was a blue koala-looking alien creature with big, long ears, he had big, black eyes, razor sharp teeth, and blue patterns on his body.

"What can I do for ya?" the robot asked as he was cleaning a glass.

"Uh…" Rika began, not sure what to say. "I'll have a Sprite." Rika mentally smacked herself.

"Coming right up," the robot said as his hand opened up to become a hose as he shot a blast of Coke into the glass he was holding and tossed it to Rika.

"Uh…I asked for a Sprite."

"What are you saying, meatbag?" the robot half-shouted at her. "Are you saying that I'm unqualified to be a chef? Well, who are you? If you haven't notice the name tag, my name's Bender!"

"Uh…" Rika feeling awkward. "You aren't wearing a name tag."

"I'm not?" Bender asked. "Bite my shiny, metal ass!"

"Be nice, Bender," the alien on his shoulder said.

"Shut up, Stitch!" Bender waved his fist at the alien.

"Wait! I think you're a…wonderful cook!" Rika declared, not wanting a fight to break out.

"You really mean that?" Bender said emotionally.

"Uh…sure!" Rika nodded.

Bender slumped down, behind the bar and said to Stitch, "You know, Stitch? She's a real nice girl to say that. My program is saying to rob her blind…but after that…I just can't. What's the matter with me?"

"Simple," Stitch answered. "Bender have heart."

"I know I have a heart," Bender rolled his eyes as he opened his chest cabinet and pulled out a heart. "See?"

"Yucky!" Stitch grabbed his nose. "Just be nice."

"Great idea! Glad I thought it up!" Bender stood up again and turned to Rika. "Listen, I'm sorry for gettin' angry with ya earlier. My name's Bender and my little buddy here is Stitch."

"Hi!" Stitch waved.

"Please to meet you," Rika smiled. "I'm Rika."

"So what are you doing here on Traverse Town?" Bender asked as he gave her a real Sprite.

Rika grew sad and looked away. Stitch's ears drooped and knew what happened: her world disappeared. "You okay?" Stitch patted Rika's shoulder.

"Yeah…" Rika sighed as a tear fell down her cheek.

Bender also felt bad, even though robots don't have emotions. "Mind telling us what happened? I'm all ears…figuratively."

Rika looked at her two new friends and nodded. "Okay…" She then began to tell her story of her family and how her world got destroyed. And through it all, Bender and Stitch listened carefully and sadly.

"Wow…" Bender sighed as he placed his robotic hand on her shoulder. "I'm really sorry about what happened to you, Rika."

"Thanks," Rika sighed as well.

"Me know Sora," Stitch stated.

"You do?!" Rika gasped.

"Ih!" Stitch grunted. "Sora and Stitch fight lotsa Heartless! Stitch sure Sora is fine."

"Think so?" Rika asked.

"Yeah. Definitely!" Stitch nodded.

"You used to fight Heartless?" Bender turned to his little, blue friend. "You little thing?! Hahahahahahahaha!" Stitch growled as he grabbed Bender by the arm and lifted him up into the air. "Whoa! Never mind! You're awesome!"

"Thank you," Stitch satisfied as he dropped Bender to the floor.

"Heh, heh," Rika giggled, feeling better since she left the island. It reminded her of how Donald always got mad at Goofy. But grew serious again as she began to leave.

"Where you going?" Stitch asked.

"I really have to go find my family and friends," Rika explained. "I can't just sit here and wait for them to pick me up. I got to go find them too."

"Okay," Bender nodded. "But come back here if you run into trouble. Okay?"

"Sure, Bender," Rika nodded. "I'll see you guys later."

Rika walked out of the restaurant and took another look around the first district, before she headed to the second district. Unknown to her…she was being watched…

Up on top of the roof top of _Bender's_, was a group of four. One was a 12-year old girl. She had long pink hair and wore a pink shirt, black jeans and gloves. She also had green eyes.

Another member of the group was a boy 15-year old boy. He had dirty blonde hair and black eyes. He wore a white jumpsuit with blue gloves, boots and belt. On his torso was a clock. And a giant hammer was strapped to his belt.

The third member of the group was another boy. He was 18-years old. He had short black hair and wore a black robe over a white t-shirt, black pant and strapped to his side is a katana in a sheath.

The final member was their leader. He was 15-years old. He was about five foot four, and his hair pitch black. He wore a black leather jacket without a zipper but with a hood. White lines were on the edges of the jacket. On the inside of the jacket was a tight Hazmat-like, silk suit without sleeves. He had a white belt, tight plain white boots, and plain white leather gloves. He wore a white mask and black goggles with a white strap just above the mask. Most interesting thing though, is that on the center of his Hazmat suits chest was the letters NL on it.

"So…she's the Link?" the katana wielder asked.

"Yep," the girl answered. "And she's the daughter of the hero of the universe. What are the chances, eh Time Zone?"

"Enough with the sarcasm," the boy in white, now known as Time Zone, groaned. "At least we're on the right track."

"So when are we going to reveal ourselves?" the katana wielder asked.

"Soon, Wolf," the leader said. "We just need her to meet up with a few more people…"

"You and you cameos, No Limit," the girl shook her head.

"Shut up, Mystery!"

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Rika was walking around the second district, not exactly sure what she was looking for. Someone who will accompany her on her trip? Not being entirely sure, she just walked in front a hospital with a sign that read, _Sacred Heart Hospital_. She walked inside and it was total chaos. Many patients were in beds being pushed around by doctors. And Rika couldn't help but notice that…the people were becoming Heartless!!!

"We need a heart transplant!" a geeky-looking doctor with great looking hair shouted as he ran by. He wore blue scrubs and black hair. He ran to an older man with orange curly hair. He wore a white doctor's coat over a grey t-shirt and wore black jeans.

"No duh, Newbie," the older man replied. "Everyone here's in need of a heart transplant. What with the Heartless situation in our hands and you're coming to me about just _one _heart? WE'RE IN A PLAGUE HERE, NEWBIE!!!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" the geeky doctor apologized as he ran off and stopped in front of Rika as he started to breathe heavily. "I've never seen Dr. Cox this angry before…" the doctor turned to Rika and stood up straight. "Welcome to Sacred Heart Hospital. I'm John Dorian, but everybody calls me JD. How may I help you?"

"Don't trust him," a janitor mopping on the side, said. He was wearing a grey jumpsuit with a nametag that simply said, "JANITOR" and on the back said "MAINTANCE". He was a tall guy. "Every one of his patients died!"

"No they didn't!" JD snapped at the janitor before turning back to Rika. "Ignore him. He's Janitor. The janitor…"

"Yeah…I'm a janitor," Janitor walked over. "But we're hard working people! We clean the floors. We fix the beds. And we clean those dirty-ass toilets! And we don't get so much as a thank you! Now tell me…is that fair?"

"Yeah, JD," Rika agreed. "That's so not cool of you to treat Janitor like that! How can you be so cruel?"

"What the heck just happened here?!" JD pulled on his hair.

"The Janitor tricked you again, that's what," a man said as he limped over. The man had brown hair that was graying. He wore a blue button shirt with a fancy black jacket over it. And his pants were black also. He carried a cane as he limped. "How many times can a man possibly get tricked by a simple-minded janitor?"

"Hey!" Janitor pointed his finger at the man. "Don't mess with me, House! I can get back at ya!"

"Please," the man now known as House rolled his eyes. "Every time you try to do that, I always turn the tables on you. Face it, my good man. You've met your match."

"I'll get you someday," Janitor waved his mop at House. "You'll see…I'll get you someday."

"And I'll be there to help," the doctor, JD was speaking to before walked over. "Oh what I would give to see the mighty, mystery-solving Doctor Gregory House go down…"

"Dr. Perry Cox," House did a gentleman's bow. "I am truly honored to be in your presence."

"Arm-wrestling. Cafeteria. Half-Hour," Cox got up in House's face.

"I'll be there," House smiled as the two greatest doctors ever walked in opposite directions.

"Sorry about that," JD turned to Rika. "Those two are Dr. House and Dr. Cox. The universe's best doctors."

"Wow…" Rika gaped in awe. "That was some interesting events."

"Anyway, what can I do for you?" JD asked.

"Oh…ah…I'm sorry, but I was just wondering around and just walked in. Heh, heh," Rika laughed nervously as she scratched the backside of her head.

"Oh it's fine," JD sighed. "I'm just worried about the Heartless situation…"

"What Heartless situation?" Rika asked.

"You see, the Heartless were supposed to have gone away 24-years ago. Thanks to a kid named Sora. But Heartless started showing up again. And now their numbers are growing. And now they're destroying a lot more worlds and turning more people into Heartless."

"That's terrible!" Rika gasped.

"I know," JD sighed. "Me, Dr. Cox and House are trying our best to find some sort of a cure for Heartless. That way we can save many more lives."

"That's pretty noble of ya," Janitor stated as he leaned on his mop. "But I hear that it's only Curly Hair and Caney who are actually trying to find a cure while you try to flirt with Blonde Doctor."

"Shut up, Janitor! I'm trying to be serious in this humor fic!"

"Yeah, yeah," Janitor walked away.

"Well this only means that I got to get going to help my dad…" Rika said.

"What? You on a big journey or something, kid?" JD laughed.

"As a matter of fact, I am!" Rika pulled out her Keyblade.

"Whoa!" JD gasped. "You're a Keyblader! That's so cool! Can I get your autograph?!"

"Uh…maybe later," Rika laughed. "But I really got to get going."

"Oh! Okay!" JD waved as Rika walked out. "Please come on by and I'll give you a check up sometime!"

Rika walked out of Sacred Heart and began to walk around again. Unknown to her, she was being preyed upon…Rika walked a good 20 feet before she noticed something. She could've sworn she heard some sort of growling. She checked her stomach if it was that, but obviously it wasn't that. She turned around and gave a small shriek. Behind her was a monstrous being. It looked like a Velociraptor dinosaur, but was white with black marks around its body. On its forehead was the third insignia Rika saw in her dream. A black heart with a white cross on the bottom. It wasn't a Heartless. But it ain't no Nobody either.

The creature growled quietly as it walked closer to Rika. Rika was absolutely in total terror. Completely frozen in fear of the creature for she could feel some great power radiating from it. And it wasn't a good radiating. After a long wait, the creature charged at Rika. She quickly summoned up her Keyblade and the creature's mouth bit into it and Rika tried to keep up her guard. Both seemed to be evenly matched until the creature jerked his head and pulled the Keyblade out of Rika's hands. It spat it out to the side and rammed Rika in the chest with its head.

Rika got knocked 5 feet away and landed hard on her back. She was in serious pain as she tried to open her eyes, but winced in pain. The creature walked over to her and stood tall. Rika closed her eyes, preparing for the worst. Just as the creature was about to strike, a katana with shadows over the blade impaled the creature's back. The creature screeched in pain as it dissipated. The katana landed on the ground and stuck there. The boy in black, named Wolf, from before walked over and picked up his weapon and gracefully placed it back in its sheath. Then, the leader, No Limit, walked over. Rika barely had any strength left as she passed out.

No Limit pulled out Keyblade that looked like a black looking version of Kingdom Key, but its blade was thinner and resembled a drill. He raised his Keyblade over Rika and casted a Cure spell on her. Her injuries were healed, but she was still knocked out.

"Good thing we arrived in time," Wolf said as he held Rika in his arms.

"Things are worse than I thought," No Limit whispered as he brushed a hair out of Rika's eyes. "A lot worse…"

_**End of Chapter 3**_

NL: Whoa! Some serious stuff here!!! Good-bye. May the Force be with you. May the Power protect you. So long and thanks for all the fish. Guess where I got this good-bye stuff. The first is obvious though.


	5. Revelations

_**Chapter 4: Revelations**_

The Warner Bros. cartoons were walking down the alleyway of Traverse Town, still searching for the Keyblade Wielder.

"We searched everywhere!" Daffy screamed as he ripped off some of his feathers from his head. "Where is that blasted key!!!"

"Take a chill pill, my main man," Wakko, with sunglasses on, said as he placed his arm around Daffy's shoulder.

"Ayyy!" Yakko said with a black leather jacket, gelled hair and stuck his thumbs up.

"Shut it, Fonzie!" Daffy poked Yakko in the chest.

"Uh, excuse me?"

"**YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!**" Daffy screamed as he jumped high into the air. Luckily for him, there was no ceiling and landed in Porky's arms. Everyone turned around to see two people behind them. It was Time Zone and Mystery. Mystery being the one who scared Daffy.

"I'm sorry," Mystery apologized to Daffy. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't startle me!" Daffy declared as Porky dropped him to the floor and he got up. "I'm not afraid of anything!"

"Boo," Dot deadpanned.

"**YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!**" Daffy screamed as he zoomed high in the air again.

"I hope NL doesn't make this a running gag," Time shook his head in disappointment.

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Rika moaned in pain as she started to regain her consciousness. She was lying in the bed of the green room of Traverse Town's hotel. She opened her eye and started to get up. "Damn, I need an aspirin…" Rika moaned.

"Watch your language, young lady!"

Rika turned her head to see that she wasn't alone in the room. With her were the two teenagers who rescued her earlier, No Limit and Wolf. No Limit was sitting in a chair next her bed and Wolf was standing with his back leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. No Limit was the one who said that. "You okay?" No Limit said worriedly.

"Yeah…thanks for rescuing me from that dinosaur," Rika said.

"No problem," No Limit smiled warmly to her.

"And that was no dinosaur," Wolf stated.

"Uh…not to be rude…but who are you?" Rika asked curiously.

"About time," No Limit sighed with relief. "It's really weird for the readers to know who we are when the main character doesn't!"

"What?"

"Nothing," No Limit waved his hand. "My name's No Limit. NL or Limit for short. And my emo buddy over there is Wolf."

"Hey," Wolf waved his hand carelessly at her.

"What was that thing that attacked me?" Rika asked herself.

"It was a Soulful," Wolf answered her.

"Soulful?" Rika asked with a raised eyebrow. "I heard of Heartless and Nobodies, but Soulfuls?"

_**TT-TT-TT**_

In the red room of the same hotel, Mystery and Time Zone brought Daffy, Porky and the Warners there to explain the same things NL and Wolf were explaining to Rika.

"Okay," Mystery began. "You know what Heartless and Nobodies are?"

"Ye-ye-ye, naturally," Porky nodded.

"Okay, um…how can I put this?" Time said thoughtfully. "You know when people become Heartless, and a Nobody is created? How the Heartless is the hearts of people that got infected with darkness and Nobodies are the bodies of the people? Well……what's left?"

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Rika looked confident in the answer and started to lift her pointing finger and open her mouth…only to close them and put on a confused look. NL smiled and answered, "The _soul_, Rika, the soul."

"Wait a sec," Rika held up her hand. "How do you know my name?"

"We're friends with your father," Wolf answered.

"We've just been busy keeping the worlds in order," NL explained. "Anyway, when a Heartless and a Nobody is created, the soul of them still lives on. And the soul…"

"Wait a minute. I thought that the Nobodies held the souls of the people they were," Rika asked.

"Please let me finish," NL said as he held up one of his gloved hands. "That is partially true. Both the Heartless and Nobody holds the soul. At least, part of it. The soul is divided into two parts. The memory and emotions. The Heartless holds the emotions, and that's why the Heartless are focused on instinct. Nobodies hold the memory and that's why they remember most of their lives before they became Nobodies. Although, a great majority of both goes to who-knows-where. Personally, I think they go to heaven or Kingdom Hearts."

_**TT-TT-TT**_

"But what does that have to do with Soulfuls?" Daffy asked.

"Soulfuls are those remaining souls," Mystery explained. "There was a group of Keyblade Wielders called the Purifiers that have been tampering with the path souls take when they go up, causing the souls to wander the worlds. But that isn't even the worst part…They've taken those souls, Heartless and Nobodies and combined them together to form an unholy creature. A Soulful. You see, these people believe that what they're doing is right and were in hopes to believe that these experiments will allow them to find a cure to Heartless. But they were so wrong…They broke the laws of life and spirituality."

"Then what?" Daffy asked. "What happened?"

_**TT-TT-TT**_

"You know how the worlds are disconnected?" Wolf asked. "And how it is said that Heartless are the cause of the broken walls between worlds? That's wrong. The worlds were _meant_ to be connected. In fact, they were all one world……until Soulfuls were created. When they were created, the law of life was broken and divided up the world into separate worlds."

"The worlds used to be one world?!?!" Rika gasped.

"Yeah," NL nodded. "And you know what else? Those FREAKS who created the Soulfuls were insane. When they heard of Traverse Town and how it's made up of fragments of other worlds, it got them thinking…Since it was the worlds were once one and they wished to bring them together again, they decided that Heartless are to go out into the universe and destroy the worlds."

_**TT-TT-TT**_

"**WHAT?!?!**" Daffy, Porky and the Warners screamed.

"Exactly," Mystery nodded. "They thought that with all the worlds destroyed and their fragments go and form Traverse Town, they would have brought the worlds back together again."

"But that's cr-cr-cr, totally insane!" Porky exclaimed.

"And that's not the worst of it," Time said grimly. "Time for more info on Soulfuls. They are the souls of those people who lost their hearts to the darkness, but the thing is…when they are combined with Heartless and Nobodies, they also gain their dark properties. They then take the form of the most pre-evolved creatures that walk the worlds. Like that dinosaur we showed you. It's called a Vela_soul_raptor, the most common Soulful. The thing about Soulfuls is that they are like Heartless…only much worse…

_**TT-TT-TT**_

"The Purifiers didn't want anyone to lose their hearts and become Heartless," NL explained. "So they sent their Soulfuls to take the people and keep them safe as the world is being destroyed. But they didn't know that when a Soulful finds a person…they devour the person's soul."

"WHAT?!?!" Rika gasped.

"Exactly," Wolf growled. "That's what makes them worse than Heartless. At least Heartless has the chance of being turned back to normal…but without a soul…they just can't live…"

"But why did they attack me?" Rika asked. "We're on Traverse Town and the Purifiers are attacking other worlds."

"That's because Soulfuls have been forming on their own," NL explained. "They're supply souls aren't enough. And that's exactly why Sora and the others are off."

"You know what my dad is doing?!" Rika gasped again.

"Yeah," Wolf nodded. "They are trying to keep the Heartless and Soulfuls at bay. For if the Purifiers succeed and bring all the worlds into Traverse Town…all of existence will cease."

Rika's eyes widened in shock. "All of existence will end?!"

"But enough about that," NL declared. "That's all you need to know for now. Now it's time to tell you what you must do."

"Wait, wait, wait," Rika waved her hands. "You're giving me a mission?"

"More like a journey," NL tilted his head left and right. "But yeah. They're something you need to know. There is a Prophecy…a Prophecy that tells about a Keyblade Bearer who will unify the worlds and bring them together again. The Link. And, according to the Prophecy, with the worlds unified the peoples' souls and hearts will return, the Heartless, Nobodies and Soulful gone and order shall be brought back to the universe. And that Prophecy…is about _you_," NL pointed at Rika.

"Me?" Rika pointed at herself. "How can you be so sure it's me?"

"Because the Prophecy states that the Link will be the offspring of the Keyblade Wielder who brings back the worlds that has been lost to the Darkness," Wolf explained. "And that was your father, Sora."

Rika was in shock. She was to be expected to save all the worlds and bring them together? The person will save the entire universe, when she couldn't even save her own world from being destroyed. This great responsibly was just too much for here. Rika ran. She ran out of the room and metaphorically ran away from her life.

"I think we scared her," NL stated.

"You think?" Wolf shook his head.

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Rika kept running. She kept running until she reached the third district, exhausted. She breathed heavily and cried at the same time. She just couldn't handle the pressure of saving all those people. Saving all those lives. How could she possibly be the Link and bring order back into the universe? She couldn't possibly be strong enough to do it…She had the Keyblade appear in her hand and stared at it.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" she screamed as she tossed it aside only to reappear in her hand. "Why!" she screamed as she repeated threw away the Keyblade only to have it reappear back into her hand. "Why me?! Why did it choose me?! I just can't do this! I'm not strong enough!" After a last throw and reappearance, she broke down to her knees and cried.

After the information given to them, Daffy, Porky and the Warners were up on a rooftop. "Okay! We're to find the Keyblade Bearer, who is the Link, and help her to unify the worlds!" Yakko declared.

"Existence is going to end, ain't it?" Dot asked.

"Yep!" Yakko nodded.

Suddenly, behind them, two Velasoulraptors appeared behind them with hungry looks in their eyes.

"Gee, are these the So-so-so-Soulfuls?" Porky asked as he held up his shield weapon with a silhouetted rabbit head on it.

"What are we waiting for?!" Daffy shouted as he held up a magician's staff with a wizard's hat on top of it. "Let's get them!"

"WHOA!!!" Daffy and Porky screamed as they were blasted high into the air. The Warners were lucky and hid in another roof. Daffy and Porky fell back to the ground…right over Rika!

Rika stopped her crying as she looked up and saw the Looney Tunes crash on top of her. "Ugh…" the three moaned as they lay in a dog pile. Daffy and Porky came to first and saw that Rika was holding the Keyblade. "The Key!" they exclaimed.

Suddenly the three felt a small tremor which grew to a huge tremor. Walls started to rise out of the ground and they were trapped! And to make things worse, Velasoulraptors started to appear and surround them. "You guys know how to fight?" Rika asked as she got into her fighting stance.

"You kidding?" Daffy laughed as he held up his magic staff. "I've been trained in all forms of martial arts!"

"Oh p-p-please," Porky rolled his eyes. "You learned it from watching Jackie Chan movies."

"Your point?"

The Velasoulraptors charged at the group. Rika, remembering her last encounter with one, jumped over one of them. The Velasoulraptor looked up, but fell over backwards as it tried see where she jumped to. Quickly, she jumped back over it, but landed right on top of it and stabbed her Keyblade at right where its heart is supposed to be and the Soulful dissipated.

"Now, now, boys. Can't we ta-ta-ta, converse like gentlemen?" Porky asked as he was surrounded by three Soulfuls. Only to receive three roars as a response. "Okay." Porky charged forward with his shied in front of him and rammed them away from him. He then started to spin like a tornado and the Velasoulraptors are dragged into it and got bashed several times and were soon destroyed.

Daffy was in the worst situation though, Velasoulraptors dog-piled on top of him and were ripping him apart. "Ow! Don't make me hurt you! OW!" Daffy quickly casted a Fire spell and got engulfed with fire. The Velasoulraptors got badly burned and backed off. Daffy stood up and was feather free. He quickly placed his hands over his privates. "Heh, heh. Look away, little kids," Daffy chuckled with a red face. He zoomed off screen and returned, full of feathers. "Take this!" Daffy shouted as he fired a Magnet spell at the Soulfuls and it dragged them all in. With this opportunity, Rika, Porky and Daffy jumped at them and started to slash, bash and blast them. Soon, they were all destroyed.

"Few," Rika wiped her forehead. "That was close. You guys are great!"

"Th-th-th, much thanks!" Porky thanked. "My name's Porky Pig."

"And I'm the Great Daffy Duck!" Daffy struck a dramatic pose as he held up a skull.

"Heh, heh," Rika giggled. "My name's Rika." Unfortunately, the friends couldn't get more acquainted. They felt another tremor…more like an earthquake actually. They looked around for another enemy…until it dropped from the sky!!! It looked like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but (like the Velasoulraptors) it was white and had black stripes all over it. A Soul-Rex.

"Great," Daffy sighed. "A T-Rex. It's Jurassic Park all over again."

The Soul-Rex roared mightily at the group and its head struck forward and tried to make them his lunch. Luckily, they all jumped out of the way. Daffy casted several Thunder spells at it, but it had no apparent damage. Although it did make it angry. The Soul-Rex turned to Daffy and got face-to-face to him. "Mother," Daffy squeaked. Good thing Daffy made friends with Rika, cuz she quickly pushed him out of the way before the Soulful made him duck dinner.

"Pick on someone your own size!" Porky shouted as he repeatedly wacked the Soul-Rex in the leg. The Soulful turned to Porky. Porky kept whacking until he saw it looking at him. "Heh, heh," Porky smiled a huge cartoon smile as his leg stretched off-screen and ran off, leaving a smoke figure in the shape of him.

Rika jumped up at the Soulful to attack, but it quickly swung its tail at her and slammed her into the other two. They were all in the corner and the Soul-Rex lowered it head and breathed smoke out of its nose at them.

"It looks like it's the en-en-en, all over," Porky stuttered.

"I'm too young to die!" Daffy screamed as he covered his eyes. The three friends braced themselves as the Soul-Rex was about to strike. But it didn't come. They opened their eyes to see a little blue thing on the Soulful's face.

"Stitch!" Rika gasped.

Stitch apparently jumped from a high building and grabbed a hold of the Soul-Rex's face and was scratching every part of its face as much as it can. "Neega Naga Qweeshta!" The Soul-Rex roared in pain and tried to shake Stitch off. When Stitch finally jumped off, the Soul-Rex tried to take eat the little bite-sized alien, until two metal extend-o-matic arms wrapped around the Soul-Rex's jaws, keeping it shut. Rika saw those arms belonged to Bender.

"Prepare to get an ass-whoopin'!" Bender shouted as he tried to keep the Soul-Rex from attacking any more people. He pulled hard and dragged the Soul-Rex to the ground. And waiting for him was Janitor!

"You could use some cleaning!" Janitor whipped out his mop and started smack the Soul-Rex's face. Leaving many bruises and a very clean face.

"Who are these clowns?" Daffy pointed his thumb at them.

"My friends!" Rika smiled. Then she heard a shrill whistle and looked up to see Dr. Cox, House, JD and the Warners were up on a roof balcony.

"Sorry, new girl, for not joining in the fight," Cox shouted over to her. "But we don't fight or have any weapons."

"Cowards!" Daffy shouted as he shook his fist at them.

"Come on!" Rika got up and picked up her Keyblade. "Let's help!" Daffy and Porky nodded as they picked up their respected weapons and charged in. Daffy casted many Fire spells at the Soulful. Porky smacked it. And Rika jumped forward for the final blow and stabbed it in the head. The Soul-Rex roared one last time as it disappeared and was destroyed.

"Woo-hoo-hoo!" Daffy cheered.

_**TT-TT-TT**_

"So, you were looking for me?" Rika asked Daffy and Porky, after everything settled down and everyone was told the story about Rika, Soulful and the Purifiers.

"Ye-ye-ye, that is correct," Porky nodded.

"They were sent by another ruler of a world to aid you in your quest," Wolf explained.

"Really?" Rika asked.

"That's right, girly," Daffy said. "We came a long way and we ain't leaving without ya."

"Shut it, Daffy!" Yakko wacked the upside of Daffy's head. "This is a lot for her to take in."

After that, no one said a word and looked at Rika, to find out her final decision. Rika was thinking carefully and after a long wait, she looked up and smiled, "Well it looks like I got some world-unifying to do!"

"Alright!" NL cheered as he flew into the air and did a back flip.

"Welcome to the family, Rika," Porky smiled kindly.

"Hold it!" House demanded as he limped forward. "If Rika's leaving so am I."

"Me too," Bender nodded.

"Stitch too!" Stitch cheered.

"I want to go too!" JD added. "I always wanted to space travel!"

"And I'm going too," Janitor walked forward. "JD can't enjoy a waking moment, not as long as I have something to say about it!"

"If House is going, so am I," Cox declared. "But is your leg okay? Cuz you could always stay here…while I go on this amazing adventure…and you stay here…while I go far away…ever so far away…from you…"

"The more the merrier," Rika smiled.

"Hmm…" Wolf smiled to see all those friends together. "It seems that they have a huge journey ahead of them…"

"There's one more thing I got to tell you, Rika," NL walked over to her. "When you travel to the other worlds, you have to find the world's heart, or in other words: the world's Keyhole. You have to find it and lock it from the Heartless, but that isn't all. You must also create a link with the Keyhole. That is how you are going to link the worlds together again. It's just like locking so don't worry on how to do that."

"Okay," Rika nodded. "Got it."

"Well what are you wait for?!" Time shouted. "Get going already! Time's-a-wasting!"

"Heh, heh," Rika laughed. "Okay! Okay!"

"Follow me," Daffy waved for the group to follow. "I'll take you to our ship."

"The Studio's ship," Dot deadpanned.

"Like I said my ship."

After the group of heroes walked through the large doors that connected the third and first district, NL smiled.

"It's good to know they're right on track," NL sighed. "We're on schedule, right Time?"

Time pulled out this hammer weapon and looked at the clock on its side. "Yeah. They should be meeting with Ford and Arthur any minute now…"

"Good, good, good," NL nodded. "And you evacuated the entire world, right?" NL turned to Wolf and Mystery.

"Everyone has been evacuated from Traverse Town, except for Rika's group and us," Wolf stated.

"Good," NL nodded. "The Vogons will be here any minute to destroy Traverse Town. We better get to our ship."

"And Rika and the others?" Mystery asked concernedly.

NL smiled grimly. "They're hitching a ride…"

_**End of Chapter 4**_

NL: Who are Ford and Arthur? What are Vogons? Why are they destroying Traverse Town? How are Rika and the other's hitching a ride? All this and more in the next chapter.

But I kinda need some help. I need to find the script to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie. Do you think you could tell me where I can find it? Or maybe a copy of the DVD?

May the Force be with you. May the Power protect you. So long and thanks for all the fish.


	6. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

NL: Yes! I finally got a copy of the DVD!!!

_**Chapter 5: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy**_

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about dolphins:_

"_It's an important and popular fact," it says, "that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the world Traverse Town man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet (e.g. No Limit), instead of the third most intelligent. The second most intelligent creatures were, of course, dolphins, who, curiously enough, had long known the impending destruction of the world Traverse Town. They'd made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger, but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits. So they eventually decided they would leave Traverse Town by their own means. The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a sophisticated attempt to do a double backward somersault though a hoop, while whistling _The Star-Spangled Banner_. But in fact, the message was this:_

'So long and thanks for all the fish."

Suddenly an up tempo drum music started playing and was going to lead to a big band number.

_So long and thanks for all the fish._

_So sad that is should come to this._

_We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear._

_You may not share our intellect,_

_Which might explain your disrespect,_

_For all the natural wonders that grow around you._

_So long, so long and thanks…for all the fish._

_Your world's about to be destroyed._

_There's no point getting all annoyed._

_Lie back and let the planet dissolve around you._

_Despite those nets of tuna fleets,_

_We thought that most of you were sweet,_

_Especially tiny tots and your pregnant women._

_So long, so long, so long, so long, so long,_

_So long, so long._

_So long, so long and thanks for all the fish._

_If I had just one last wish,_

_I would like a tasty fish._

_If we could just change one thing,_

_We would all have learnt to sing._

_Come one and all,_

_Man and mammal,_

_Side by side,_

_In life's great gene pool!_

_So long, so long, so long,_

_So long, so long,_

_So long, so long and thanks for all the fish!_

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Fan Fiction:_

_Fan fiction is where young, inspiring authors believe that they would one day to grow-up to be old, inspiring authors. But most of their works are from popular books, TV series, movies and the most dreaded of all…anime…Which usually wind-up getting them sued, unless the put up those annoying disclaimers at the beginning of all their chapters (see: writing laws). And this particular fanfiction is written by a teenaged boy with no life and only feels useful if he inserts himself into it. And it also features many different characters from all sorts of interesting areas of entertainment and is just one giant crossover. The author believes that if he could just add his readers' favorite characters and make some cheap jokes, they wouldn't comment on how terrible the story is. And currently, this fan fiction has begun its _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ arc. The extraordinary story of _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy _begins very simply. It begins with a man. An Earthman, to be precise. Who no more knows his destiny, than a tea leaf knows the history of Kingdom Hearts. His name is Arthur Dent. He is a five-foot-eight-inch-tall ape descendant and an alien race just built an intergalactic bypass through his home world…_

There were two men walking around the first district of Traverse Town. One was black, wearing a white suit and a satchel by his side and a _towel_ around his neck. The other fellow was white and wore nothing but rumpled pajamas, robe and slippers. He too had a towel and seemed upset over something, muttering to himself about "culture shock" over and over again. But the black man was calm, cool, entirely in control.

"Ford, please!" the man in his pajamas begged. "Will you tell me what's going on?"

"Easy, Arthur," Ford patted his friend's shoulder. "You're panicking."

"This isn't panicking! This is culture shock. Wait until I'm fully awake, then I'll start panicking!"

Without even a reply, Ford pulled out a small computer book with the words DON'T PANIC printed in large, friendly letters on the front. "Hmm…the Guide says this place is called Traverse Town. Traverse Town was created from fragments of the worlds destroyed by the Heartless. It serves as a home for people who manage to escape the destruction of their own worlds by unknowingly drifting through _corridors of darkness_."

"So technically my world is part of this world now?" Arthur asked curiously.

"Looks like it," Ford snapped book shut.

"Terrific!" Arthur groaned. "Now I must live in a town that resides in perpetual nighttime and with a bunch of weirdoes from other worlds. And that counts you!"

"Well, I don't think you have to worry about that much longer," Ford said as he looked up into the sky.

"Why, Ford? What's going to happen? This world going to be also destroyed by the Vogons?!"

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Ford pointed up to the sky.

He looked up as dark shadows fell across the landscape and shrieked like a baby crying for its bottle. "OH NO! They're back! The Vogons are back! Oh, bloody, bloody hell! Thank you, God, or Allah, or Buddha or whoever the hell you are! I knew I must have done something bad in a previous life to deserve this!"

"Don't panic, Arthur, I keep telling you," Ford sighed, sliding a silver ring on his thumb. He pointed his thumb towards the huge, blocky ships that hung in the air exactly the same way bricks don't.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

"Come now, Arthur!" Ford snapped as he put his hands on his hips. "You can't possibly have forgotten what Vogon ships looked like already!"

"I didn't say that," Arthur whimpered as he held his towel like a security blanket and started sucking on his thumb.

"You didn't?" Ford and Arthur turned around and saw Rika, Daffy, Porky and the others run toward them as they stared up at the ships that were about to destroy this pitiful world. "Guess it was those froods."

"Ford? Ford Prefect?" Janitor asked as he walked toward Ford.

"J-Janitor?" Ford gasped as he spotted him. "Oh man! It's my old hitchhiking buddy!"

"Ford Prefect," Janitor laughed as he pulled Ford into a hug and then a handshake. "Where have you been all this time?!"

"Would you know? I got stuck on this one world for 15 years! Still got your towel?"

"You can't even call yourself a hitchhiker without one!" Janitor laughed as he pulled a towel out of nowhere.

"Who are these guys, Janitor?" Rika asked.

"This is an old friend of mine!" Janitor laughed as he introduced the hitchhiker.

"Ford Prefect," Ford said. "I'm a writer for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. This here's my best pal, Arthur Dent. Be patient with him, he's been having a hard day."

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?" Daffy asked. "What the heck that?"

"Simply put: the most amazing book in the universe!" Ford declared proudly. "No good hitchhiker should be without one. Remember, three things: your towel, your thumb, and your copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! Which reminds me, don't you have a towel?"

"Uh…no," JD replied.

Ford clucked his tongue pitifully. "Poor bastards. I feel right sorry for you. Well, we'll fix you up as soon as we can. Probably sooner than you possibly expect. Anyway, now's not the time for talk!" Ford pointed his thumb up again at the ships again. "All of you gather around! Hurry! We haven't much time!"

"What are you doing?" Bender yelled…until he looked up. "What the hell are those things?!"

"They're ships from a Vogon constructor fleet," Ford explained. "I picked up their signal this morning." The air began to stir as the ships drew closer, creating powerful, gale force conditions that whipped around them violently. "And what does it look like I'm doing?" Ford replied. "I'm hitching a ride! Everybody, closer! Grab a hold of the towel and whatever you do…DON'T LET GO!" A yellow light erupted from his thumb, contacting one of the large ships.

A horrible groaning noise surrounded them, and suddenly every piece of metal, every electronic device, everything from a bottle cap to a DVD player, became a super powerful antenna, focusing and transmitting a broadcast coming from the mother ship. "ATTENTION PEOPLE OF TRAVERSE TOWN. THIS IS PROSTETNIC VOGON JELTZ OF THE GALACTIC HYPERSPACE PLANNING COUNCIL. AS YOU ARE PROBABLY AWARE, PLANS FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE OUTLYING REGIONS OF THE GALAXY INVOLVE THE BUILDING OF A HYPERSPACE EXPRESS ROUTE THROUGH YOUR STAR SYSTEM. AND YOUR PLANET IS ONE OF THOSE SCHEDULED FOR DEMOLITION. THERE'S NO POINT ACTION SURPRISED ABOUT IT. THE DEMOLISHTION ORDERS HAVE BEEN ON DISPLAY AT YOUR LOCAL PLANNING OFFICE IN ALPHA CENTAURI FOR 50 EARTH YEARS. IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH LOCAL AFFAIRS, THAT'S YOUR LOOKOUT. APATHETIC BLOODY PLANET. I'VE NO SYMPATHY AT ALL." The transmission ended.

"They're going to do WHAT?" everyone screamed together.

"Demolish the planet," Ford answered simply. "You kids hard of hearing or something? Uh-oh! Hang on! We're getting a lift, and just in time!"

Arthur closed his eyes and plugged his ears. "I hate this part!"

There sat Traverse Town, a haven for those who have lost their worlds to the darkness, and surrounded by a million grey blocks each one the size of a city block. All at once there was a long, awful silence, followed by a short awful noise, and then followed up with another, much, much longer silence.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about itself:_

"_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," it says, "is a wholly remarkable book. Perhaps the most remarkable, certainly the most successful book, ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor. More popular than _The Celestial Homecare Omnibus_, better selling than _53 More Things to Do in Zero Gravity_, and more controversial than _The Kingdom Hearts Video Game Guidebook_. It's already supplanted the _Encyclopedia Galactica _as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom for two important reasons. First, it's slightly cheaper, and second, it has the words 'Don't Panic' printed in large, friendly letters on its cover._

"Well, that's that," Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz declared, floating around in a big slimy tub. Even for a Vogon, he was one ugly S.O.B. "Make way for the next planet on the list. Hmm, let's see...Vultan? Vulcon? Bah! They're all the same!" He picked up an iron mallet and smashed it down on a beautiful jeweled crustacean, more because he liked being cruel to such creatures than to actually eat the sweet meat inside. "And nobody better disturb me! I've just got off a rather unhappy love affair and am looking to shove someone out an airlock or two!"

"Sir, we're picking up an unauthorized transmission coming from the cargo bay," a Vogon snorted. "Apparently, in the process of demolishing the planet, we've picked up a gaggle of hitchhikers."

"HITCHHIKERS!" Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz thundered. "I hate hitchhikers! I hate them more than anything! That makes me so mad! Mad enough to spit! Mad enough to fart! Mad enough…to shove them out the airlock! Say, this turned out to be not so bad after all!"

"Shall I have them apprehended, sir?"

"Lemme make an announcement first! I love making announcements. It really gets on people's nerves, and as you know, I really hate people, but I LOVE getting on their nerves!" he chuckled wickedly.

Down in the cargo hold, Ford rooted around the dank, dingy room and located the light switch. Upon turning it on, everyone wished he had left it off; a Vogon ship was about as lovely a sight to see as a large, steaming pile of dog doo. "What the hell is this?" Cox groaned, picking uneasily through the mess. "Did someone take a dump and then dump this in another pile of dump which has been dumped by a dump monster?"

"Are we on a sp-sp-sp, space vehicle?" Porky inquired.

"Yes, a Vogon spaceship," Ford explained. "Not a pleasant place to be, but it beats being turned into subatomic particles…marginally."

"Who did you say you are again?" Daffy coughed, pinching his nose tightly.

"Ford Prefect, writer for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," he repeated. "It's the handy-dandy pocketsize reference guide for the hitchhiker working with a budget. Here." He reached into his bag by his side, pulling out his small computer book. On the cover in large, friendly letters it said DON'T PANIC! Automatically, Rika felt much better, although she didn't know exactly why. She flipped it open and switched it on. "Check it out. Anybody seriously considering taking up hitchhiking the galaxy needs to have one. And towels! That's right, you guys need towels. Hang on."

Rika looked at the electronic book curiously, and Daffy, Porky, the Warners, Bender, Stitch, JD, Cox and House peeked over her shoulder. There was a little black screen, a speaker for a voice, and lots and lots of weird buttons. "Okay?" she whispered. "What next?"

"Try," Stitch said thoughtfully. "Kingdom Hearts!"

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Kingdom Hearts:_

"_Kingdom Hearts is a popular video game series developed by Square-Enix and published by Buena Vista Games, a subdivision of AlmightyGodCorp, a.k.a. the Walt Disney Company, a.k.a. We-Have-More-Money-Than-You-And-Like-To-Flaunt-It-Ha-Ha-Don't-Mess-With-The-House-The-Mouse-Built-You-Silly-Peons-We-Will-Crush-You-LIke-A-Bug-With-A-Capital-C. It is highly acclaimed with a large fan base. It is enjoyed for its bright, colorful graphics, intelligent storyline, exciting action, and unusual premise. It revolves around a young protagonist named Sora who journeys to several worlds based on popular Disney films, including, but not limited to: Aladdin, Hercules, Beauty and the Beast, etc. It also features cameo guest stars from Square-Enix's popular Final Fantasy series. It is a highly addictive game with a large, loyal fan following who enjoy spending their precious life hours reading crappy fan fiction while passing the time waiting for the sequel, instead of riding a bike, or hanging out with friends, or baking a damn cake you damn bloody loser, or shooting people with the Vice-President. Or just sitting there, staring at the wall, on and on, realizing how small your world is, and how insignificant your life is, and that in the end it doesn't matter, Sora isn't real, he doesn't love you, no matter how many fan letters you write to him, HE JUST WON'T WRITE BACK! FOOLS! FOOLS! Get a life before I reach through this tiny little screen and wring your ne…_

_At this point the article sort of trails off, and is labeled as "incomplete, pending massive rewrites" by the publishing house._

"Okay! That was surreal," Rika stammered, looking ready to fall over.

"Here, keep these and don't ever let them go," Ford said, returning with some relatively clean towels, one for each of them. "Remember, out here in the vast, cold depths of space, your towel is your life."

"Doesn't make any sense, but okay!" Wakko said, tying the towel around his shoulders like a cape. "Super Wakko away! Whoosh!" Wakko started to run around like Freakazoid, another Warner Bros. cartoon.

"More like Stupor Wakko," Dot stuck her thumb at her brother.

"What's a Vogon?" Rika asked as she pocketed her towel.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Vogons:_

"_Vogons_," it says, "_Vogons are on__e of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not evil, but bad tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public enquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.__ The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is stick your finger down his throat and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you._"

"They can't think or imagine," Ford continued for the Guide. "Most can't even spell. They just run things. And if we don't get a ride soon, we won't need the Guide to tell us how unpleasant the Vogons can be. They've already destroyed a world today. That always make them a little _eee_!"

Suddenly, the most atrocious noise came through the loudspeakers, and the heroes covered their ears. "What is that awful sound?" Rika moaned. "It's the most horrible thing I've ever heard!"

"Here, I need you to put these fish in your ears," Ford said with an impossibly straight face. He opened his palm, revealing a handful of wiggling yellow fish gasping for air. "It's a babel fish. Nowhere near as important as your towel, but it's useful in situations like these."

Cox looked at him as if he were insane. "Excuse me? Put THAT fish in MY ear? I don't think so, bub……ERGLWEYBOING!" To have a fish in your ear is about one of the most unpleasant sensations imaginable, but a wonder of wonders, the horrible noises ceased to be replaced with horrible words. Cox picked at his ear, listening attentively, while Ford gave babelfish to the others.

"…We have unwittingly picked up a couple of hitchhikers…"

"The fish is translating for you," Ford explained to everyone.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Babel fish:_

"_The Babel fish," it says, "is small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the universe. It feeds on brainwave energy, absorbing unconscious frequencies, and excreting a matrix of conscious frequencies to the speech centers of the brain. The practical upshot of which is that, if you stick one in your ear, you instantly understand anything said to you in any language."_

"Sweet!" Bender said. "Now we don't have to listen to Stitch's broken language."

"Hey!" Stitch smacked his friend's head. "Shut up or I'll rip your arms off!"

Ford didn't look to well now, much of his cool, calm demeanor evaporating in the face of this new, terrifying threat. "That...that was a Vogon. Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz to be exact. Great. We've been discovered. Let's just hope they do the right thing and stick us into the airlock right away."

They all goggled at him in disbelief. "Why on earth would you want that?!" Daffy demanded. "What could be worse than being shoved out an airlock?!"

"Well," Ford stated matter-of-factly. "He might just carry through on his promise to read us some poetry!"

"Trust me," Dot sighed. "What the hitchhiker says is true…"

_**M-M-M**_

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Vogon Poetry:_

"_Vogon poetry," it says, "is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet a certain man in pajamas used to live. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison._

"Gribblede-frumpbudgets," Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz declared. "Hoist high the moist grum-buddies and make off with the Q-tip of swathing despair. Think again, most foul loogie, when the green applesauce refuses underwear."

It was poetry time on the Vogon demolition ship, and everyone was settled into a nice cushy beanbag chair and sipping nice, hot cocoa. Ha! Never in a million, billion years. Instead, everyone had been strapped into sensation amplification modules, all the better they could experience each and every excruciating syllable of Jeltz's homegrown poetry as it was supposed to be experience. Every nuance, every thought-provoking meme, shot directly into their cerebellums and spread like burning hot fingers of acid through their mortal frames. "Bands of used-up Band-Aids baked in a cake!" Jeltz declared. "Eaten with moth wings and succulent cabbage rolled in maggots!"

"AAAAAAA!" was the general audience reaction.

"Ramrods and fiztwidgets cannot sustain my hooplededo, coin operated turpentine scrubbers! Last of the great, white-hot mucus slingers firing wads of snot into the sun!"

"KILL ME," Daffy sobbed like a newborn baby, tears pouring down his cheeks. "KILL ME! I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT, JUST KILL ME NOW!"

"BZZZZZZZZ!" Bender's head was shaking and short-circuiting with sparks shooting out of it.

"Dr. Cox," JD wept. "My brain is trying to crawl out of my right ear!" Make no mistake, this was not figure of speech; the pink edge of his brain lobe could be seen trying to squeeze out the narrow gap so it could crawl away and hide, leaving JD a poor, drooling vegetable.

"Make the bad man go away, PLEASE?" Arthur groaned, sweat pouring down his face.

"Froinlavin on a burnt sesame seed bun, with a side order of ketchup ground from the kidney of a rabid groundhog in heat!" Jeltz continued. "Can you not feel the boiling, roiling sea of refundency? Sloinfrablle from Moohoovia! God forbid! SOFT, soft, _soft_..." Everyone sighed in relief a moment, but then…"HOIGEN SNATCH FROM THE PRAIRIE OF LUPUS COCKTAILS! BLUBBBBBERBLURB!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"KLANG!" Jeltz yelled into the poetry amplification modules. "Klang went the bell…ONE MILLION TIMES! Klang!"

"AAAAA!

"Klang!"

"AAAAAAAA!"

"KLANG!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

999,997 clangs later...

"Rightly so did they frolic in their terpid enzymes, slish-sloshing to the end of oblivion, and the caterpillar did eat their snodgrass livers in popiscreen choblats from crandle town!" He lowered the book and took off his glasses. "Now…Critique!"

There was a long, long silence, and slowly, Rika, bleeding out of her ears, looked at Jeltz vacantly. "W…Wha…What?"

"Critique! Review! Provide me with some feedback!" Jeltz explained. "Tell me what you thought of it. How did it affect you? How did it make you feel? Are you happy, sad, indifferent, suicidal? I want to know! I can't improve my style unless you tell me what's wrong and what's right. I will accept constructive criticism, but no flames!"

"No…_flames_?" House snarled, a wild, crazy look burning in his eyes. "No FLAMES? You…you…you! You can just call me the Human Torch, cause it's Flame On!"

"It was incredible!" Rika shouted hoarsely.

"WHAT?" everyone screamed at her.

"M-Marvelous!" Arthur added with surprising zestfulness. "About the best damn…er…Vogon poetry I've ever heard!"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Rika gasped. "The way you take what you said, and spin it around, and then it comes out again!"

"Yes, of course!" Arthur continued. "And then the way you juxtapose the cross-section of good and evil…"

"And lightness and darkness!"

"And up and down, it's really, quite…um…exciting!"

"Clever!"

"Inducing to my overall enjoyment of the piece," Arthur cheered. "Very good show."

"The underlying themes of love, and self-denial, and the gut-wrenching humanity…"

"Vogonity!" Ford corrected them.

"Vogonity! Gut-wrenching VOGONITY really moved me. I could feel my toes tingling with every gumdrop syllable from on high," Rika grinned helplessly. "How's that suit your fancy, big, mean, grey Jeltz, sir?"

Jeltz was silent a moment. "So...what you're saying is...you liked it?"

"Yes," Arthur and Rika moaned.

"And you're saying it..._moved_ you?" Jeltz continued. "That through all the underlying metaphysical imagery, you could see that, underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior, I just want to be loved?"

Rika looked at Arthur and Arthur looked at Rika. They both turned to Ford. He shrugged. "Yeah," Rika answered. "I guess so."

Jeltz scowled mercilessly. "No! No, that's not it at all! You completely missed the point of the poem! If it were a sun, you'd have flown straight into it and disintegrated! Frankly, I also find it rude, condescending and insulting to my better taste! I've never been so abjectly humiliated in my life! Your comments have done nothing but embitter me, leaving me depressed and vulnerable."

"You read poetry because you like tormenting people?" Wakko asked cautiously.

"Does poetry do anything else?" Dot inquired.

"Yes! But it's too late now! Now I'm pissed! Steamed! Aggrandized to the nth degree! Away with these pretenders and posers! Toss them out the airlock and not another moment spent on them! Great Zarquod, but I could use a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster right about now. Pander to my needs people, I'm in a sulky mood!"

"ReSISTance is FUtile!" the Vogon guard proclaimed as he hauled them off.

"Ack!" House screamed. "I rather face a million Cuddy clones than have my face stuffed in a Vogon's armpit! Woo-boy, what a stench!"

_**M-M-M**_

Arthur inhaled deeply, nodding gently. "Well. That's it then. We're going to die. I must say, I feel rather…accepting of it. Don't know why. I always fancied when it was my time to go there'd be a lot of hoopla and hollering and pleading and cajoling and threatening, but instead, I feel this quiet peace inside. Very tranquil, like a pretty pond full of lilies."

"Really?" Stitch asked emotionally.

"Hell no! Let me OUT OF HERE! MOMMY!" He beat on the door with his fists, feet and head.

"Stop it! Stop it, man!" Ford grabbed his friend and slapped him in the face. "Pull yourself together! You're the last member of a proud race!" Ford chuckled. "I'm sorry, I can't call humans a 'proud race' without cracking up."

"Wait," Bender interjected. "You're not human?"

"Hmm? Oh, no. I'm from a small planet orbiting the star Betelgeuse. I accidentally ended up on Arthur's home world and was stranded there for fifteen years before I was finally able to hitch a ride off it, and took Arthur along with me."

"And I'm so terribly, bloody grateful you did," Arthur sighed despondently.

"You humans and how you look!" Bender shouted angry as he pointed at Ford. "It makes me disgusted of how different species can blend so well together. I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!"

"But you and Flexo look the same," Stitch stated.

"Yeah, but Flexo has that fancy goatee."

"C'mon, guys!" Yakko said. "We can't just give up like that! There has to be a way out of here! And I don't mean being sucked out into the vacuum of cruel, cruel, cruel space. Come on! Think! THINK!"

Wakko grew thoughtful, then his eyes opened wide in surprise. "Wait…wait! What's that! What's that lever? That one right there!"

"WHERE? WHERE!" everyone screamed, looking around the airlock frantically.

"Uh, there is no lever. I made it up. We're really gonna die. Yeah. This is it."

"Airlock opening in ten seconds," a cheerful computer voice intoned.

"Okay, everybody hold your breath," Ford ordered. "It's possible a passing spaceship might pick us up and save us in the nick of time."

"Really?" JD asked hopefully.

"No, no, we're really gonna die. Been nice knowing you."

"Airlock opening now," the cheerful voice said with an unreasonable amount of good will towards all men. "Please, have a nice day!" The airlock burst open and everyone went flying off into space.

_**End of Chapter 5**_

NL: Ha! Cliffhanger! By the way, sorry for adding so many entries of the Guide. I suck at making up my own, so I just want to get most out of the way.

May the Force be With You. May the Power Protect You. So Long and Thanks For All the Fish.


	7. The Heart of Gold

NL: SOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY for the long update! Writer's Block, ya know?

**_Chapter 6: The _Heart of Gold**

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about space:_

_It says, "Space is really, really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. It also says that if you hold a lungful of air, you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about 30 seconds. But with space being really big and all, the chances of being picked up within that time are two to the power of 2 to the power of 2079460347 to 1 against. By a wholly remarkable coincidence, this is also the number of a telephone located in an apartment Arthur Dent once visited not long ago met a smashingly with an insanely beautiful, impossibly brilliant young woman named Trisha McMillan, whom he totally blew it with._

Rika woke up in the pristine white cargo bay of a beautiful spaceship. "Ah," she sighed relaxingly. "I've never felt better in all my life."

"That's because you're a frigging couch," Couch Daffy informed her.

"Why in the world did you say that?" Couch Rika asked. "And how can I talk if I don't have vocal cords?"

"I…don't…know!" Couch Daffy stammered.

"Man, if I'm stuck this way, I'd say I'd prefer the damn poetry recitals," Couch House groaned.

"What the heck is going on here?" Couch JD shouted. "Ford? Arthur! Dr. Cox? Yakko! Wakko? Dot!"

"We're the Animaniacs!" Couch Yakko, Wakko and Dot sang zestfully.

"Probability 2 X 10 to the 1000000 and falling!" a nice, female voice intoned.

"What was th-th-th-that calming female voice?" Couch Porky asked.

"Might I inquire as to WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Couch Arthur screamed.

"2 X 10 to the 50000 and falling!" the voice said again. "Please be patient while reality adjusts to normality," the voice said. "You are on board the fabulous starship _Heart of Gold_, the very first spaceship equipped with the Infinite Improbability Drive, allowing for almost instantaneous travel to any point in the universe."

"Say!" Couch Bender said. "I've heard of that! It's supposed to be the next generation in hyperspace travel! Replacing gummi ships and hyperspace routes altogether! And to think we're on board the very first one of its kind! I can't wait to get my hands on the mechanics! Heheheh," Couch Bender chuckled pervertedly.

"2 X 10 to the 250 and falling!" the voice said. "In a moment, all reality will be completely adjusted, and any difficulties you still have with the universe will be your own problem, not ours. 2 X 10 to the 100...2 X 10 to the 10...we have normalcy. I repeat, we have normalcy! Thank you once again for flying the starship _Heart of Gold_. Please have a nice day."

"Everyone keeps saying that, but I'm not having one yet," Dr. Cox growled. He stood up and brushed himself off, but when he walked there was still a slight waddle in his step. "Now what the heck are we on again?"

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Infinite Improbability Drives:_

"_The Infinite Improbability Drive," it says, "is a wonderful new method of crossing interstellar distances in a few seconds; without all that tedious mucking about in hyperspace. As the Improbability Drive reaches infinite improbability, it passes through every conceivable point in every conceivable universe almost simultaneously. In other words, you're never sure where you'll end up or even what species you'll be when you get there. It's therefore important to dress accordingly. The Infinite Improbability Drive was invented following research into finite improbability which was often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess' undergarments leap one foot simultaneously to the left in accordance with the theory of indeterminacy. Many respectful physicists said they wouldn't go to stand for that sort of thing, partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sorts of parties."_

"Anyway, that explains all the weird stuff that's been happening," Ford said.

"It does?" everyone else said with a marginally probable degree of uncertainty.

"Why sure! Don't you see? Everything that happened to us was incredibly improbable…but _not_ impossible. The higher the improbability factor, the weirder things would get. Come on! Let's find the control room. It's probably shielded against improbability factors."

"Are you sure it's safe?" Arthur asked. "What if we're walking into a trap?"

"Well, you can stay here if you like," Ford said. "And run the risk of turning into something unpleasant the next time the IID kicks in." He smiled whimsically as he led the others out of the room. Arthur looked around nervously, then hastily skipped after them.

Sitting in the control room, Trillian watched a monitor as is said "Normality Restored." "So much for the laws of physics," she sighed. Then, she looked at a monitor as the heroes progressed down the hallways. When a door opened it said in a happy voice, "Thank you for using me!" And then shut with a grateful sigh.

"Okay, that's…that's just wrong!" Daffy groaned dismally.

"Goodnight, everybody!" Yakko waved to you, the readers.

Zaphod Beeblebrox sat watching a humongous Plasma TV, idly flipping channels with the new third arm he had just installed. He had two heads, both watching the television and at the moment, there was a newscast going on about the most important thing in the universe to him…namely, him. "The sensational theft of the most coveted ship in the universe, the starship _Heart of Gold_. Stolen at the launch ceremony by none other than Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox."

The television showed the ship they were on and a huge crowd of people, watching as Zaphod was standing on a stage holding a champagne bottle tied to a rope. "In the name of people," Zaphod began his "speech," "freedom, and, uh…democracy, stuff like that, I hereby kidnap myself and I'm taking the ship with me! Whoo! Come on!" He got a firm hold of the bottle and swung himself aboard the ship and, unnecessarily, smashed the bottle to launch the ship and took off to space.

"Beeblebrox," the anchor lady continued, "universally considered to be the dimmest star in several solar systems, is most famous for his controversial defeat of Humma Kavula who claimed many thought they were voting for the Worst-Dressed Sentient Being in the Universe contest." Then a picture of a man wearing thick glasses and curly hair appeared on screen. "Humma Kavula is, of course best remembered for his slanderous 'Don't Vote for Stupid!' campaign. We have here now an exclusive interview with Gag Halfrunt, Zaphod's shrink to hopefully provide some keen insight onto how the mind of this madman works. Dr. Halfrunt?"

"Vell…" Gag Halfrunt said. "Zaphod's juzt dees guy, ya know?"

"Would you put your ego aside for a minute?" Trillian said as she walked over to Zaphod. "Something important has happened."

"If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now!" Zaphod declared as he turned back to the screen. "Come on, I love it!"

"Zaphod, you moron!" Trillian came up behind him and slammed his heads together roughly and turned of the TV. "Did you hear a word I said?"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey!" Zaphod groaned as he rubbed his aching heads. "What d'you…? I was just watching myself!"

"The computer shows that we have couple of hitchhikers in our receiving bay," Trillian sighed as she pointed to the computer monitor.

"Hitchhikers?" Zaphod asked with a raised eyebrow. "Why'd you pick up hitchhikers?"

"I didn't! The ship did!"

"What? Wh…wh…Say what?" Zaphod asked as he and Trillian walked to the computer.

"When we engaged the Improbability Drive…" Zaphod stared blankly. "…The big button," Trillian sighed as she pointed to a big button that looked like an eyeball.

"Yeah! Of course I know that!" Zaphod laughed arrogantly as he smooth out his long hair.

"Right," Trillian sighed. "They were picked up here in……wait…That's where you picked me up. On my world!"

"That's impossible!" Zaphod laughed nervously as he pulled on his shirt's collar, "There's not a world for light-years!"

"No, just very improbable," Trillian insisted.

"Listen. I don't have time for this," Zaphod groaned, "We've got the police of half the galaxy after us! We've stopped to pick hitchhikers. So ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking. You're too gorgeous, baby, stop it. You drive me crazy!"

"And I have no idea what you just said…" Trillian groaned as she shook her head.

"I'm off!" Zaphod picked up a laser gun to…"take care of" the hitchhikers.

"Don't," Trillian said as she pushed a button on the panel, "I'll send Marvin. Marvin!"

Out of its little niche in the side of the control room, a handsome chrome android stomped out, wandering up to Trillian. "Yes?" he asked in a voice of such intense boredom and depression it made both of Zaphod's heads bang together involuntarily. "I think you ought to know, I'm feeling very depressed."

Trillian bent down and smiled at Marvin. "Well, we have something that should take your mind off things."

"It won't work," Marvin sighed. "I have an exceptionally large mind."

"Yeah…" Trillian said, not sure how to respond, "we know. But we need you to go down to the entry bay and pick up our hitchhikers and bring them here."

"Just that?" Marvin questioned dismally. "I won't enjoy it."

"Yeah, well that's life," Trillian hissed, trying not to pull her hair out by the roots.

"Life?" Marvin scoffed as he walked out the room. "Don't talk to me about life."

Rika and her friends wandered through the infinite maze of corridors comprising the starship _Heart of Gold_. "According to the _Guide_, this thing was specifically designed to do away with all forms of hyperspace travel," Ford explained as they walked along. "Thereby eliminating the need for hyperspace bypasses, like the one the Vogons demolished Traverse Town to put up. Ha! When they learn about this, I'd love to see the looks on their faces. Through an electron telescope 200 light-years away."

"What were you doing in Traverse Town anyway?" Rika asked.

"Nothing really," Ford answered. "To find No Limit, warn him that there are bad things afoot. Me and the old jumpsuit jockey go way back, before he was ever a superhero. He used to hitchhike with the best of 'em. I wonder if he still has his towel? Anyway, being the roving reporter that I am, I always keep my eyes and ears open for good stories, and I've found a whopper! Apparently, this bad-ass mofo named Xemnas, whom the savior of the universe, Sora fought sometime ago, is back and badder than ever. Did you know Xemnas was an anagram for man sex? How messed up is that?!"

"Xemnas!" Rika shouted.

"You've heard of this cat?" Ford asked.

"Heard of him?" Rika said. "My dad was Sora!"

"Well, let me assure you, Xemnas is back," Ford declared. "Whatever tricks you have up your sleeve, you better be ready to use 'em, cause this ain't no game!"

"No, it's a bloody damn long fanfic written by some bloody damn teenager without a life outside his stupid little computer world and he feels needed when he just inserts himself into it, that's what it is," Marvin sighed in despair as he waddled into the corridor, spooking everyone half to death.

"Good heavens, what is that?" Arthur gasped, shaking his towel at Marvin.

"God, hitchhikers, the dregs of society, the bane of my existence," Marvin moaned. "I am Marvin the Paranoid Android, sent by President Zaphod Beeblebrox to bring you to him."

"ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX!" Ford exclaimed excitedly. "Hot froogle on a stick! That's awesome! So that old slap-happy hoopdoodle is now President, eh? Looks like his campaign of free beer and good times paid off after all! Where is the old swindler?"

"You know this Beeble-boombox guy, Ford?" Bender asked.

"Know him? Know him! Dude, we share three of the same mothers! This bad day just suddenly took a turn for the better!" He jumped up and clicked his heels together happily. "Lead on, my good Marvin, lead on!"

"Don't think I can't register the trace amounts of sarcasm in your voice, Mr. Ford," Marvin droned. "My audio senses are five thousands times more sensitive than your measly carbon-based ears, and yet here I am, having to do what you say. Is that fair? No, it is not fair. Oh, life, why doth thou despise me, thy lowly and ungrateful servant?"

"I hear you my brother," Bender sighed as he patted Marvin's head.

"No…not even fellow robots understand the pain that I have suffered from these bloody humans," Marvin sighed. "Oh woe is me. Why don't I just end it now? Oh, but it's because that would just give them the ever-so delightful joy of not having me around. Wait, I beg your pardon, I believe I was hopeful for one second, please excuse me."

"Okay," Bender said. "Now I'm thinking you're giving us robots a bad name!"

"Is something wrong with that robot, Ford?" Rika asked. "He seems…not well in the head."

"You can thank the Sirius Cybernetics Corp. for building robots with G.P.P." Marvin answered.

"What's G.P.P.?" Yakko asked.

"Genuine People Personalities," Marvin answered again. "I'm a personality prototype. You can tell, can't you?"

"That seems clichéd," Daffy rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for using me," the door sighed happily. "Please, use me again when you leave, and not that silly window. I loooove you!"

"That's creeping me out," Cox growled.

"I brought the aliens," Marvin declared as they reached the control room. "Don't thank me or anything."

Suddenly, the two-headed, three-armed President of the Universe jumped out from behind the couch holding a laser gun. "FREEZE!"

"AAAAAAA!" everyone screamed bringing out their respective weapons, while JD hid behind Dr. Cox.

"Grow a pair, Janice!" Dr. Cox groaned as he smacked his protégée's head.

"Freeze?" Marvin asked. "I'm a robot. Not a refrigerator."

"I wasn't talking to you, Giggles," Zaphod said, still holding up his gun.

"Oh why do I bother?" Marvin asked himself as he walked to his corner of the room.

"Ford?" Zaphod gasped as he realized who was in front of him.

"Yo! ZAPHOD!" They ran up and hugged each other. "Yoing-bla! Mala-toma! Re-bo-too-too-intoo-craggo!" Ford looked at everyone. "Oh, that's our old alma mater fight song. Man, it's good to see you!"

"Good to be seen, damn straight," Zaphod laughed. "What the heck you been up to, cousin? Say, quite a posse you've assembled here." His four eyebrows shot up when he saw Rika and slid up to her. "Say, sweetheart…ever date a guy with two heads before?"

"No, and I'm not interested," she deadpanned.

"Not now you aren't," Zaphod winked. "But one day, look me up. My card." He handed her his business card, inscribed with one word…ZAPHOD. "Remember, I'm the President of the Universe. Don't get much cooler a job than that."

"Except writing for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," Ford declared.

"No way! YOU work for the Guide now? Too froogle-de-oogle-de-cool! Man! This calls for a celebration! Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters all around!" He looked at Arthur who was glowering at him. "Something the matter? There's two heads, or can you not count?"

"I know you," Arthur declared fiercely.

"What?" Ford and Zaphod asked together.

"Well, last time we met he had only one head and two arms, but you are definitely the man!" Arthur continued angrily. "You're the man who stole the most beautiful, intelligent, articulate, engaging, devastatingly funny young woman I ever met in my entire life!"

"Get out of here! Little ol' me?" Zaphod cooed, batting his eyelashes innocently.

"Yes, little ol'…I mean, yes, you! You stole her from me! At that party, remember? In Doug's apartment? You just waltz in while I went off to the punch bowl and wrap your arm around her shoulder and say, 'Hey, baby, this loser bugging you? Come sail with me, I got my own spaceship!'"

"Well, as you can see, I obviously wasn't lying," Zaphod concluded.

"Well, no, but that's beside the point! It was very rude and ultimately ruined an otherwise nice evening! And now, here I am, lost in space, probably never to see her again!"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that now," Trillian said as she walked in.

"Trisha McMillan!" Arthur blubbered. "What are you doing here?"

"Namely, everything he can't," she answered smugly. "Starting off with flying this crazy contraption. And it's Trillian now, Arthur."

"Hey!" Rika said. "You're the lady who was counting down back in the cargo bay, weren't you?"

"That's right," she said. "You're looking at the pilot, navigator and chief science officer of the starship _Heart of Gold_. Cool, huh?"

"Wow," Zaphod sighed. "Imagine that."

"Awkward moment," Cox groaned as he elbowed House.

"How can _we_ make it even more awkward?" Yakko pondered, tapping his chin. "Suggestions, siblings?"

"Oh!" Dot waved her hand in the air. "I know!" She walked over to Author and whispered……more like said obnoxiously loud so everyone in the room could hear, "Is a she a girl that you met at a party, but you blew it with her and then the two-headed circus freak over here stole her from ya and left you manically depressed?"

And that truly did leave a very awkward silence. "Way to go, sis!" Wakko praised.

"Trillian, what are the odds of something like this happening?" Zaphod asked.

She ran some figures through her head and smiled sweetly. "I'd say pretty damn improbable."

Zaphod sighed disgustedly. "Ford. Janitor. This is my gal pal Trillian. Trill, this is Ford, my second cousin; we share three of the same mothers. Janitor is a janitor and an old hitchhiking buddy of mine. Everybody else, don't bother introducing yourselves because I'll never remember your names. Come on." Zaphod waved for Ford and Janitor to follow. "I'll whip us up some Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters."

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Out in the deep reaches of space, a lone gummi ship was flying around. It was called the _Limit Flyer_ and it is shaped like a piece of…

"Crap!" Time Zone groaned as he threw his cards down. "You beat me again!"

"Come to papa!" NL laughed as he reeled in all the munny.

"I know you cheated somehow, man," Time declared angrily, "I don't know how…but I know you did…"

"Yeah, yeah…Whatever!" NL laughed, quietly hiding the two Aces in his glove.

Suddenly, the ship's computer spoke, "Now approaching Twilight Town."

"About time!" Wolf groaned as he walked to the two card players.

"Better get Mystery," NL sighed as he got up. The three superheroes walked though the long and bright halls of the _Flyer_. They finally came across and door with a sign that read, _Map Room_. A hand panel came forward and NL placed his palm upon it as it scanned it. Then an eye scan came forward and scanned one of his eyes. Then a microphone came out and NL cleared his throat and said in monotone, "No Limit." Suddenly a laser popped out and zapped him.

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

"Okay…" Time dragged, "I know this is a joke from _The Incredibles_……but what the heck just happened?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Wolf sighed as he slid the room's door open. "Mystery tricked it so it would zap NL when he tries to get in."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………" NL gurgled as foam was forming in his open mouth. Wolf and Time helped NL to his feet as they dragged him into the room.

Inside, not a single light was on and you would think it's dark? WRONG! The room was brightly lit with some sort of green lights. And the green lights appeared to form some sort of map of the universe with holographic images of worlds and stars. In the very center of the room sat a mechanical chair raised high into the air and it was connected to the very hi-tech machinery within the ship's computer. And sitting on that chair was Mystery, typing into a holographic computer and keyboard that was part of the chair and, also part of the chair, had a goggle-like computer screen over her eyes as she worked.

"Yo! Misty!" Time called to his fellow teammate. "We're almost to Twilight Town!"

"About time," Mystery took off her mechanical goggles. Her holographic computer disappeared and then she leaped down from her chair gracefully and landed before the other three. "I was beginning to think that I'll have to spend the rest of my life with you guys, lost it space."

"And that's a bad thing?" Wolf shrugged.

NL shook his head as he regained his senses and began to walk to the center of the room. At the bottom of the chair was some sort of cabinet. He reached over and opened it; within it was a golden sphere that looked a bit like a Wonder Cube that had many buttons upon it and it was hooked up with many wires to the computer. NL carefully removed the wires and picked it up. He smirked as he tossed it into the air and caught again inside coat's pocket.

"Remind me…" Time scratched his head as everyone left the Map Room to the ship's teleporter, "why are we going to Twilight Town?"

Wolf shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe how many times you forget these things…"

Mystery smiled, "Maybe we shouldn't have bought that Teleporter from Professor Frink from Springfield. He did mention that it might have caused us to leave behind part of our brains."

"I DIDN'T LEAVE BEHIND PART OF MY BRAIN!"

"Quit it, cuz," NL scowled his younger cousin.

"To answer your question, Time…" Wolf sighed, "remember that computer in that mansion…?"

_**End of Chapter 6**_

NL: Well now! That's some interesting stuff going on in my ship! And try and guess what show Professor Frink is from! BTW sorry if I don't update for a long time again! I'm just lazy!

Mystery: (cough) Deadbeat writer… (cough)


	8. Where Are We Going Again?

**_Chapter 7: Where Are We Going Again? _**

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the worlds: _

_"The worlds," it says, "are large chunks of elements that have been fashioned together to form land masses, oceans, swamps, etc. where living creatures…well…live. There use to be only one world, but due to unexplained events, they were broken up into smaller worlds. But there is said to be a person who will bring the worlds back together again (See: The Link and the Prophecy). _

_This article has been categorized under "incomplete, pending massive rewrites mainly cuz the damn writer is so god damn bloody uncreative." _

Rika clapped the Guide shut and glanced at the big, friendly words on the cover: DON'T PANIC! At the moment, easier said than done. "Hey guys, I'm thirsty," she stated. "Anybody want anything to drink?"

"No, we're cool," Daffy, House and Cox sighed, lounging on anti-gravity massage chairs.

"When are we going to le-le-le, get off this ship?" Porky asked. "We need to get looking for Bugs and start li-li-linking the worlds."

"I was thinking about that too, Porky," Rika assured him. "I have an idea, but I need to talk to Ford and Zaphod first."

"We'll stick around here, too," Yakko spoke for his siblings. "We have a lot to catch up on in our journal! You guys have been through an awful lot and Bugs will want a full report when we find him!" He pulled out his notebook and pen and started jotting down notes, but then stopped. "Okay, I'm bored. Let's go annoy someone!"

"YAY!" his siblings cheered as they took off.

Rika shook her head, but smiled all the same. She took a look around and couldn't find her robotic friend, Bender. She spotted Stitch by the controls, trying to figure out how to pilot the starship. "Hey, Stitch?" Rika walked over to him. "You see Bender anywhere?"

"What am I? His keeper?" Stitch sniffed disdainfully.

"……Yes."

"Oh right," Stitch gave a small chuckle. "I think he went to look around the ship's engines."

"Why the heck would he…?" Rika began, but stopped mid-sentence. "On second thought, I don't want to know."

"Yo, JD! Come over here!" Janitor ordered as he stood behind the bar counter.

"What do you want now, Janitor?" JD groaned, busy watching the giant Plasma TV. "My soap's on!"

"Heheheheheh," Peter Griffin gives his trademark laugh upon the television.

"I just want to say…I'm sorry."

"Well you can just take that sorry and…! Did you say you're sorry?" JD gaped in disbelieve.

"Yeah…" Janitor nodded as he strolled over with two drinks. "I figured since we're going to have to spend a whole bunch of time together as shipmates, I've decided that we should have a truce and try to be friends."

"Why Janitor…that's the most beautiful thing I think I ever heard out of you…" JD started tearing up; he couldn't believe that his archenemy, the Janitor had decided to end their long rivalry. "I…I don't know what to say…"

"Don't say anything," Janitor smiled as he handed him a drink. "We'll seal the deal over drinks."

"To our new friendship!" JD smiled as he drank deeply into………a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster: _

_"The best drink," it says, "in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. The effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. It is advised not to take more than one for it could cause some major head trauma." _

"You all saw this coming, didn't you?" JD asked the readers. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Rika walked onto the bridge, Ford and Zaphod reclining in front of the huge TV when JD got off and started hammer his head against a window to ease the pain, while Trillian showed Arthur a big bank of blinking computers, looking befuddled as usual. "Hey, Arthur, whatcha doing?"

"I'm trying to get myself some tea, but this computer simply refuses to cooperate," he answered dejectedly. "Here." He held up a steaming cup of strange, brown liquid. "Go ahead, taste it. Tell me what it tastes like."

Rika cautiously took a sip and stuck out her tongue. "It tastes like, but not entirely, like something that could be mistaken, but never would be, for some strange tea-like alternative, which it obviously isn't."

"Precisely what went through my mind," Arthur whispered. "How incredibly strange!" He walked off, sipping the non-tea tea, looking hopelessly befuddled and out of place among all the advanced spaceship technology, dressed solely in his robe and pajamas. He turned to Trillian. "I think that…guy called you Trillian. Um…which one of us got the right one?"

"Oh! I shorted it," Trillian snorted awkwardly. "Something a little more…_spacey_."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight," he nodded. "I was thinking on changing mine too! To…I don't know…Arthoolia."

"Arthoolia!" the Warners popped up. "From now on, we're gonna call you Arthoolia!"

"Hey, Arthoolia!" Yakko greeted.

"What's up, Arthoolia?" Wakko asked.

"How's it hanging, Arthoolia?" Dot smiled.

Arthur groaned, smacked his forehead and then put on a fake smile. "Fabulous! Damn bloody fabulous!"

"Heh," Trillian giggled. "That's a good one…Um, exactly how did you get here?"

"Well…uh, I stuck out my thumb and here I am!" Arthur demonstrated.

"Right…in your pajamas?" she looked at his nighttime garments.

"I was in a hurry!" he rebottled.

"Uh huh…" Trillian nodded. "Did you know I was here?"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself," Arthur said. "I've a spaceman too. Well…make that a spaceman, three doctors, three whatevers, a duck, pig, kid, robot, weapon of mass destruction and a janitor."

"Okay….um, look," Trillian began, "I left you at that party. I feel bad about it, but I was gonna call you when I got back!"

"Well, there's no going back now, is there?" Arthur sniffed, still upset. Trillian gave him a confused look. "You DO know what happened, don't you?"

"HEY!" Zaphod popped out on nowhere, scaring the bejeebers out of everyone. "Enough small talk! We're on the run, remember? I stole a ship."

"Excuse me!" Arthur snapped. "We were having a chat, do you mind?"

"You blew it with her, Monkey Boy, so shut your face or I won't give ya a banana!" Zaphod snapped right back. Arthur growled, ready to give the President of the Universe and good punch. "You wanna fight?"

"Okay!" Arthur nodded angrily.

"No! No! No!" Trillian and Rika tried to break it up, while the Warners, Daffy, Dr. Cox, House and Janitor sat nearby with popcorn.

"500 munny on the two-headed, three-armed President of the Universe," House whispered to Daffy.

"You're on," Daffy smirked proudly, but then turned to Porky. "I need to borrow 500 munny."

"I'm just kidding!" Zaphod laughed, holding up his hands. "I'm a kidder! Let's be friends! Let's connect! You and I!" And his hidden third arm popped out and gave Arthur a good punch. "DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING DID YOU MONKEY BOY?"

"Crap…" Daffy groaned dismally as he passed the munny House, who gleefully played with it, "Well that's the last of Porky's cash."

"That otta pay for my painkillers for awhile," House declared.

"Popped right out of the box! You foxy, yeah!" Zaphod began air-guitaring. "Teach your pal a lesson, Ford. He's a guest on MY ship!"

"I thought you said you stole it," Ford burst his bubble.

"Stole what? What are we talking about?" Zaphod played dumb. Then again, when doesn't he? Suddenly, a whole bunch of alarms have gone off and red lights were flashing. "Oh…that doesn't sound good…"

Bender suddenly ran through the sighing door. "I didn't do nothin'!" he declared.

"That's a double negative," Yakko pointed to Bender. The screen near the controls showed a huge grey ship with many more behind it.

"We got company…" Janitor sang in a creepy, sing-song voice.

"You okay?" Trillian looked over Arthur.

"Yeah, just fabulous, thanks, 'Trill,'" Arthur wiped off some blood leaking from his nose.

"Hey, baby, a little help over here?" Zaphod pointed to the controls. "I think I'm way over my heads."

"I'll take care of this!" Zaphod second head groaned. "Good Zarquon, do I have to do everything around here? Yes I do!"

"Get out of my way!" Trillian shoved him away from the controls and started pushing some buttons and pulling levers.

"They're on our tail!" Zaphod babbled. "Fire a gun! Launch a missile. Do some damage!"

The bridge door swooshed open and everyone else came in. "What's all this no-no-no, loud disturbances?" Porky yelled. "Are we un-un-under attack?"

"Goodness, I hope so," Marvin sighed. "Then they can put us out of our collective misery. God, I hope they have good aim!"

"Uh…computer?" Trillian said uncertainly into the air.

"Hi, there!" the computer announced in an annoyingly cheerful voice, similar to a Game Show host. "I'm Eddie, your shipboard computer!"

"Wait!" Bender shouted suddenly. "You're a GUY! Then that means I touched your……uh…" Bender shuddered, disturbed.

"I'm pleased to report that it's a fleet of one hundred Vogon battle destroyers!" Eddie announced, annoyingly cheerful.

"Those are the guys who blew up Traverse Town!" Rika yelled. "We've got to get out of here!"

"They're sending a message," Eddie continued as the Plasma TV brought on screen Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz.

"This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Hyperspace Bypass Committee," Jeltz intoned. "I'm speaking to the kidnapper of the President?"

"Yo!" Zaphod stuck his hand into the air while he hid behind the couch.

"Surrender the stolen vessel at once," Jeltz continued, "or we will take action as defined and permitted by section 1-8 of the Galactic Interstellar Space Bylaws…"

"Leap into hyperspace! Come on!" Stitch groaned dismally, he really hated stuff on law.

"Sure thing, little fella!" Eddie complied. In a flash, the starship _Heart of Gold_ and all her passengers vanished in the blink of an eye, leaving the Vogon fleet far behind.

**_M-M-M _**

As the starship left hyperspace, everyone returned to their business as if nothing had happened. Rendering, that last scene rather unnecessary. "Was that trip really necessary?" Daffy questioned the air.

"_Yes_," a voice replied, spooking Daffy half-to-death, sending him flying into the ceiling and landing in Porky's arms.

"Oh yeah…" Porky sighed, "It's a running gag…"

"So, Zaphod?" Ford began his conversation with him. "Exactly where are you heading?"

Zaphod just laughed, "When you see what I'm about to show you, you'll beg me to take you with us!" Then he spotted Arthur. "Hold it for one second…" He zipped next to Arthur. "Yo! Monkey Boy! No hard feelings from before? Good. Sorry to hear about your world. But listen, don't mention it to Trillian. Okay? Because if you do, I'll pull your spleen out through your throat."

"Uh…" Arthur stammered, "was that a threat?"

"Better believe it, Monkey Boy," Zaphod glared a very serious look. Yeah, I can't believe it either. "Alright! Thanks, buddy! Okay…Like those jammies…" Zaphod turned and headed back to his semi-cousin.

"Hey, Zaphod?" Ford asked curiously. "What's with the two-head thing? You didn't have another one before."

"Funny story actually…" Zaphod laughed. "Apparently, you can't be president with a whole brain!"

"I don't see a problem," Janitor mocked him.

"Oh," Ford nodded. "So you carved it up?"

"Yeah…" Zaphod nodded, embarrassingly. "Showtime, everyone! Hop to it! I got something to show you! Hence 'showtime!'" As soon as everyone on board entered the room, he held up a small, blue transparent cube. "When I saw what I'm about to show you…that's when I realized why I had to do what I did to my brain…I think…it's all a little…shaky." He placed the cube into a hole on the table and the Plasma TV started loading the data like a DVD Player.

"I've seen it," Marvin sighed. "It's rubbish."

Then the TV showed a title card that read, "Magrathea Archives." Soon, a vast jungle with a giant stone figure came on screen. The stone figure was shaped like a person who was resting their head on their fists and its head was much larger than any other part of its body.

"Many millions of years ago," the TV began, "a race of hyperintelligent, pan-dimensional beings got so fed up with the constant bickering of the meaning of life, that they commissioned two of their brightest and best to design and build a stupendous super-computer to calculate the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything…"

Then two small little girls in magnificent white robes stood before the stone figure, which turned out to be the super-computer. "O Deep Thought," one of the girls preached to the computer, apparently named Deep Thought, "we want you to tell us the answer."

"The answer to what?" Deep Thought asked in a bored female voice.

"The answer," the second girl continued, "to Life, the Universe and Everything!"

"We'd really like an answer," the first girl said. "Something simple."

"Hmm…" Deep Thought pondered carefully. "I'd have to think about that. Return to this place in exactly seven-and-a-half million years…"

"Is it finished?" Bender asked, bored, "This ain't exactly tickling my interest program."

"Oh no. There's more! They go back!" Zaphod smiled.

"What? Seven-and-a-half million years later?" Stitch scoffed, not believing it for a second.

"That's right!" Zaphod laughed. "They do!"

Suddenly, the screen showed a humungous crowd of people standing before Deep Thought, screaming their little heads off and waving banners as if their lives depend on it. The two little girls from before stepped forward, mind you they did have white hair now and their pupils grew obscenely large.

"Deep Thought," one of the girls began, "do you have the…"

"An answer for you?" Deep Thought interrupted. "Yes, but you're not going to like it…"

"It doesn't matter!" the other girl declared. "We must know it!"

"All right," Deep Thought sighed. "The answer to the ultimate question…

…of Life…

…the Universe…"

Everyone in the room got really close the TV screen now, wanting the answer as much as the crowd did.

"…and Everything…"

"**WHAT IS IT?!?!?!**" everyone screamed.

"…is…"

But the screen got cut and a card came up reading, "Video File Information Deleted."

And everyone in the room, besides Zaphod, Trillian and Marvin passed out anime style. "YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!" JD screamed as he ripped out some of his hair.

"That's it?!" Daffy snapped. "They had all the build up…and we find out that the information has been deleted?!?! Aw come on! How anticlimactic is that?!

"L-l-look on the bright side, D-daffy," Porky said optimistically. "At least all this suspense will make it even worthwhile when we find out."

"Ah," Ford nodded calmly. "So you're looking for the Ultimate Answer?"

"Yep," Zaphod answered simply.

"You?"

"Me."

"Why?"

"Ah well…" Zaphod grew thoughtful. "Partly curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but, uh…mostly I think it's for the fame and munny!"

"Fame?!" Daffy's eyes instantly grew wide like saucers. "Munny?!" Little green dollar signs replaced his eyes.

"Uh, Daffy, you may want to see a do-do-do, optometrist about that condition," Porky said nervously. "It looks serious."

Soon, Daffy had a fantasy of himself in a blue tuxedo, doing the can-can on a stage with women joining him, singing "Show me the munny! Show me the munny!"

"Well what are we waiting for?!" Daffy laughed manically as he hopped in the pilot's seat. "TO MAGRATHEA!"

"You're President of the Universe, aren't you?" Dr. Cox asked curiously. "Aren't ya ALREADY famous and have loads of munny? Oh GOD! I hate rich people who just want to get richer for their own evil greedy needs…like Hugh Jackman!"

"But Hugh Jackman's Wolverine!" Stitch gasped.

"Like it matters," Dr. Cox responded, not caring.

"Presidential fame is temporary," Zaphod explained. "Sad, ain't it? I find the Ultimate Answer, that's permanent! It sticks…Plus, everyone thinks you're deep. Win-win situation! We just hit that big button," he gestures to the Infinite Improbably Drive activation button, "and BAM! We're at Magrathea……I think. I mean, I don't know! We've hit it twice and we're still not there, but anyway…You guys in?"

"Aw, I wanna get off!" Marvin moaned despondently.

Ford gave it some thought and said, "Always!"

"Awesome! Sweet!" Zaphod gave some pointing gestures to his half-cousin. "And you kids? Any questions?"

"Actually, I have more of a statement, really," Rika said. "We need to find my family right away!"

"And Bugs and No Limit!" Porky added. "We have to w-w-warn them about Xemnas. Right, Daffy?"

"We can find Bunny Boy and the wannabe-superhero later!" Daffy shouted. "I need that munny! I still owe I.Q. Hi his 6 Wazillion dollars when he turned me into a cyborg."

Ford nodded. "They're right you know. If we don't find them, it could spell disaster for the universe!"

Zaphod gazed at them in disbelief. "Ford, Ford, Ford! I happen to be the President of the Universe! Remember? Since when do I have to give a rat's ass about it? People, people, people, we're talking about the furshlugginer answer, ladies, babes and boys! The answer to the furshlugginer Life, the frigging Universe and freaking Everything! That means mucho moola to lay out on the floor and roll around in it! And I, I am so generous; I am willing to split it with all of you! 1 each! 2 percent for you Ford, on account you're family. 2 for Janitor, cuz I'm pretty sure he'll hurt me if I don't. And Monkey Boy, you can get a banana." Arthur grumbled in disgust. "See! He even sounds like a Monkey Boy when he's angry! Isn't that cute?"

Rika shook her head firmly. "No way, Zaphod! Finding my friends and saving the universe is more important than lining your wallet! We need to use your ship! It's the fastest in the universe!"

"Listen, girl, I stole this ship fair and square!" Zaphod sneered. "That makes ME el capitan!" He looked at Trillian anxiously. "What the heck does 'el capitan' mean again?"

"C'mon, Zaph," Trillian sighed. "It's obviously important to them that they find their friends. Please?" She smiled sweetly.

Zaphod groaned and slapped his foreheads. "D'oh! I hate it when you smile like that. Grrr…All right! You can use the _Heart of Gold _to find your friends…but first, we find Magrathea and the answer! Capesh?" He looked at Trillian anxiously. "What does 'capesh' mean again?"

Rika sighed, but nodded. "I'd rather get going, but I guess I have no other choice. All right! We'll do it your way." She shook Zaphod's third hand.

"Sweet!" Zaphod and Daffy cheered.

"I love it when I get things my way! Okay!" Zaphod smiled greedily.

"Uh…sorry, what exactly are we doing?" Arthur asked.

"THIS!" Zaphod slammed his fist on the IID button.

"Wait! The shields aren't up yet!" Trillian screamed. But too late, the starship _Heart of Gold_ disappeared in a flash.

**_M-M-M _**

The _Heart of Gold_ winked back into reality, leaving behind it a trail of donkeys, ice cream cones, sea cucumbers, dandelions, balls of yarn, unsold copies of War and Peace, and a jack-in-the-box. Inside the bridge, its shields having not been properly raised in time, everyone mucked about, coping the best they could.

"So, this is what it feels like to be made of string," Rag-doll House said. "Kind of peaceful…"

"Wow…" Rag-doll Bender held up his yarn-based hand. "Is this gonna happen every time we hit that button?"

"Very probably, yes," Rag-doll Trillian smiled. "Which is WHY," she glared sternly at Rag-doll Zaphod, who was trying to sew back on his third arm after it fell off, "we put up the shields before we hit that button."

"Ah," Rag-doll Marvin pointed in interest, "I think the Earthman's about to be sick." And indeed, Rag-doll JD was very green.

"Whoa, whoa!" Rag-doll Zaphod shouted. "In the trashcan! This ship's new!"

"Uh…" Rag-doll JD groaned as he vomited multi-colored yarn into the wastebasket.

"Normality should be getting back to normal in 5, 4, 6, saffron, OPEC, 2, 1," Rag-doll Trillian said. There was a loud POP! And everyone and everything returned to normal.

"Did it work?" Rika asked. "Are we there?"

Everyone looked out the window at the very dark planet looming before them. "Yeah. We're here," Ford nodded.

"Magrathea!" Zaphod and Daffy cheered, clasping each other's hands and dancing in a circle.

"I don't think so," Trillian said doubtfully. "Eddie? What planet are we looking at?"

"I'm check for ya!" Eddie declared cheerfully.

"I swear," Dr. Cox growled. "This ship's cheerful nature is going to drive me crazy!"

"Thank you so much for waiting!" Eddie finally said. "I'm sorry to disappoint you gang, but this is not Magrathea. We are currently in orbit around the planet Viltvodle Six."

Zaphod immediately ceased his dancing and shouted manically, "Humma Kavula! Magrathea's gonna have to wait! I got a score to settle on this planet!"

"No! Zaph! Think about what you're doing!" Daffy screamed, latching himself on Zaphod's face. "Think about what you're doing! Think about the people who cares about you……think about the MUNNY!!!"

"Humma Kavula!" Zaphod roared furiously as the starship descended upon the planet.

**_End of Chapter 7 _**

NL: Whoa! What got Zaphod rattled? Find out next chapter! And we finally encounter the second major villain in my fic! Along with HIS flunkies!

Time Zone: You're not using Jadis anymore?

NL: Nah. She's too complicated of a character for me. This guy's easier and I like him better! And he's got two of my favorite villains as his grunts!

Wolf: He's abilities better impress me…

NL: Oh yeah…you're going to be impressed…I just hope you guys will too!

Mystery: Too bad nobody respects Daffy and Porky…

NL: And I love those guys!

May the Force be with you. May the Power protect you. So Long and Thanks for all the Fish.

NL: I forgot to do this last chapter. XP


	9. God Bless You

NL: I'm back, everybody!

Mystery: When are WE coming back into this?!

NL: In time, cousin…in time…

_**Chapter 8: God Bless You**_

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the planet Viltvodle Six:_

"_In the beginning," it says, "the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad move. Many races believed it was created by some sort of god, though the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle Six firmly believe that the entire universe was, in fast sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure. The Jatravartids, who lived in perpetual fear of the time they called the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief, were small blue creatures with more than 50 arms each. They were unique in being the only race in history to have invented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel."_

The starship made contact with the planet (_Park in the handicap space. We'll use House's leg as an excuse!_). As Rika, Daffy, Porky, Ford, Arthur, Trillian, Zaphod, Stitch, Bender, the Warners and Janitor walked down the ramp, JD called out, "We'll stay here and keep an eye on the ship."

"DIBS ON THE ROOM WITH THE WATER BED, NEWBIE!"

"God damn it!" JD groaned, stomping back into the ship.

"Wow," Rika looked around the dark planet, no living being in sight. "No sign of life anywhere…"

"Uh, R-r-rika?" Porky tapped her shoulder. She turned around and saw a huge city of casinos, clubs and the sort.

"Guess I spoke too soon," she shrugged.

As everyone made their way through, many of its citizens screamed, "IT'S ZAPHOD!!!" and then started to take many multiple pictures him and his "posse."

"Hey there!" Zaphod waved his third arm to the paparazzi. "How you doin'? Hey, I love ya! Fantastic!" He struck some poses and signed a few autographs.

"I think I've been here before…" Janitor said thoughtfully, getting good look around the area.

"What? You went to an alien planet?" Daffy rolling his eyes, not really believing the king of all liars.

"Yeah, I think so," Janitor walked around. "Have I've been here before?" He walked over to a club and stuck his head in.

"JANITOR!"

"Yeah, I've been here before," Janitor reconfirmed.

"Come on!" Rika waved to her group. "Zaphod's getting ahead of us!"

"We lost Ford and Janitor in the crowd," Stitch informed her as Daffy, Porky, Arthur, Trillian, Bender and the Warners caught up to her.

"Fantastic…" Rika groaned, smacking her forehead then sighed, "I guess we'll come back for them later. Come on! I think Zaphod went into that church."

The remaining group ran into the church, following the President of the Universe. Inside, it was humongous and very beautiful. The people in there wore green and blue nun outfits. Its choir was singing a song that seemed to be about getting wiped up by some giant tissue. In the center of a room, there was a man with curly hair and very thick glasses standing behind a podium, supposedly a priest. The heroes made their way to the main hall just as the song concluded. Zaphod waved to the man at the center, "Hey! Humma! How ya doing?" The man, apparently the Humma Kavula that Zaphod was raving about earlier, gave him a blank stare, but it was obvious he was annoyed with him.

"Uh…maybe we should si-si-si, settle ourselves into some seats," Porky suggested. Everyone nodded and sat themselves down.

"The handkerchief is coming," Humma began. "Let us pray the Almighty will exhale a breath of compassion on us all." With that, he and the rest of the people of the planet took a deep breath through their nostrils.

"So that's Humma Kavula," Arthur whispered. "I thought he was just swearing!"

"We lift our noses, clogged and unblown in reverence to you," Humma continued. "Send the handkerchief, O Blessed One, so that it may wipe us clean."

"So these people think that the end of the world is when a giant tissue wipes everyone up?!" Bender asked in disbelief.

"And here I thought, it would be flushed down a potty," Wakko stated.

Suddenly, the whole church sneezed. "Bless you," Humma said.

_**M-M-M**_

Later, after the ceremony ended, Zaphod burst right through the doors of Humma's personal office, where Humma sat behind a table. "I like it," Zaphod stated, looking around the room. "It's big, it's gold, it's fancy. Fancy pants."

"Zaphod Beeblebrox," Humma greeted, "our infamous President. What brings you to our humble world?"

"Oh, I think you know why I'm here," Zaphod retorted.

"No, I don't think I do," he replied calmly.

"No, I think you think you don't. But we both know you do," Zaphod babbled some random stuff, causing the rest of the group to groan and smack their foreheads.

"Eloquent as always, Zaphod," Humma intoned. "Your ability to articulate never ceases to amaze."

"I can't tell," Daffy scratched his head. "Is he being sarcastic? Or does he really think that?"

"That's funny," Zaphod glared to the waterfowl, but then turned back to Humma. "During the campaign, Humma, when you were my opponent running against me…you said I was stupid! Hahahah," he laughed arrogantly.

"The election is ancient history, Zaphod," Humma said calming, taking off his glasses to clean them, revealing that his eyes looked like shrunken black pits, creeping the bejeebers out of everyone in the room. He then lifted himself higher to show that he was missing the lower half of his body and replacing them were many telescoping mechanical spider appendages. "But, if memory serves, you won, proving that good looks and charm win over brilliance and the ability to govern. And, incidentally……you are stupid."

"Yo…" Stitch pointed. "That's creepy even in my book."

"Eh," Dot shrugged. "My pets are creepier."

"Uh, excuse me! Excuse me, Mr. Humma, sir," Arthur said, nervously. "Uh, I just want to say, there's been some sort of terrible mix up, hasn't there? 'Cause, actually, he's not with us!" He pointed to Zaphod. "We came to worship you. He followed us and…" Arthur whimpered, as Humma towered over him as his mechanical legs extended. "He grew, didn't he? He's not that tall," Arthur held his towel tightly.

"You didn't come half-way across the galaxy to settle a campaign grudge," Humma turned back to Zaphod. "Why are you here?"

"We don't know why we're here," Trillian piped in. "We were trying to get to Magrathea and our ship brought us here."

"Ah," Humma nodded, "how very, very improbable…" He walked over to a drawer and pulled it open. "I kept a few souvenirs from my former life. Ah…the heady days of space piracy…" He then pulled out a chain and a small red, transparent cube attached to it. "But…even an Infinite Improbability Drive require coordinates." He dangled the cube in front of Zaphod's face, causing his eyes to follow it as if hypnotized. "Which I happen to have." Zaphod tried to snatch it, but Humma quickly pulled it back. "Ah, ah, ah. You don't get something for nothing, Zaphod. You must bring me something in return."

"Wh-what?" Zaphod asked, not taking his eyes of the prize.

"A gun," Humma answered, simply. "A very special gun. Designed by the greatest computer ever invented."

"Bill Gates' computer?" Daffy guessed.

"No!" Humma snapped. "The only way to find it is to go to Magrathea."

"Fine," Zaphod nodded. "I'll get your gun. Just give me that little cube!"

"And what will you give me to insure your return?"

Zaphod said boy-scout-like, "My word as President."

"I'll believe that when pi-pi-pi, my species fly," Porky rolled his eyes.

"No," Humma shook his head. "I need a…hostage. Only…what does Zaphod Beeblebrox treasure?" The heroes eyed each other nervously. Then, he eyed Zaphod's second head and smiled creepily.

"Oh no…" Zaphod whimpered.

"Oh!" Bender danced gleefully. "You're going to cut off his head! Hey? Do you think I can help?!" Bender's hand started to spin quickly like a hacksaw.

"Hey, hey! Take it easy now!" Zaphod backed away. "Think about this before you do it! AH! No! Stop it! Hey! That kinda tickles! Two heads are better than one! It's not fair! I need me!"

_**M-M-M**_

"Well now, that was fun, wasn't it?" Arthur said sarcastically as he, Trillian and Rika helped the now singled-headed President out of the church. "Here, I was thinking I was the only one to consider your boyfriend a narcissistic moron, but when apparently the whole galaxy does too!"

"Oh, what about you?!" Trillian snapped. "'Excuse me, Mr. Humma, sir. I'm not actually with him. We just came here to worship you.' Very brave!"

"Hey! A Link here, in dire need of help!" Rika called out. While the two were bickering, they left her to carry Zaphod by herself.

"Where the hell is Ford?" Arthur groaned.

Suddenly, a whole bunch of bright lights lit up and were aimed directly at our heroes. It turns out, that those lights belong to a bunch of Vogons with lasers. Leading them was Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz. "Aw crap," Stitch groaned.

"Mr. President, we're here for your protection," Jeltz declared.

"Hey…" Zaphod waved drunkenly.

"Fire upon the kidnapper!" Jeltz ordered.

"We're boned!" Bender screamed as the Vogons fired their lasers at the group. Rika quickly summoned up her Keyblade and deflected shots. Daffy also helped by casting Reflect spells. And Porky held up his shield.

"Hey…wait a minute…" one of the Vogons turned to Jeltz. "Isn't the President the kidnapper?"

"Whatever! Just continue shooting!" Jeltz roared.

Meanwhile, Ford and Janitor were around the pub, doing whatever the bloody hell they wanted to do. Ford was looking up into the air, speaking to a gigantic female alien. "Of course not!" he said, uneasily. "That's, that's ridiculous! I've been stranded on a strange planet for a number of years, I haven't been avoiding you! You look good! You're doing great! You've grown…obviously."

"Hey, Ford," Janitor popped-up next to him. "Vogons are here and are trying to blast our pals."

"Thank you, darling! I'll be in touch!" Ford darted off with Janitor. They quickly got in front of the blasts and Ford, miraculously used his towel and deflected a whole bunch of lasers.

"How the heck do you do that with your towel?" Rika gasped.

"How many times must I say it?" Ford asked, rushing everyone behind one of the church's pillars to hide. "You can do many things with a towel. Hey, what did I miss?"

"What the hell have you been doing?!" Stitch growled.

"Yeah! You missed some important plot development for this story arc!" Yakko added.

"I was out doing field research," Ford shrugged. "So they found where we are? Bummer."

"Bummer?!" Arthur half-screamed. "They're shooting at us! What are we going to do?!"

"I have an idea," Trillian said.

"Does it involve pushing Zaphod out there and running the other way?" Daffy asked hopefully. Everyone just glowered at him. Everyone except Arthur that is.

"That's not half-bad…" Arthur said thoughtfully.

"What?" Daffy asked innocently, an angel's halo appearing over his head. "He's the one they want! And we can just hop on the ship and take off the Magrathea and make millions!"

"I'm all for it!" Bender raised his hand.

"I got a better idea," Trillian grabbed a near-by aerosol deodorant stray-can. She picked up Zaphod and walked out of the pillar.

"What are you doing?!" Arthur hissed.

"Back off!" she shouted out to the Vogons, holding the aerosol can to his face. "I have the President and I will kill him, I swear I will!"

"Could that actually kill him?" one of the Vogons asked Jeltz as all of them stopped their fire.

"I don't think so," Jeltz said slowly. "It's a……aerosol can."

"Okay…" Arthur whimpered as the heroes made their way through the army of Vogons to the _Heart of Gold_. "Frightened right now! Frightened!"

"Get her!" Jeltz pointed to Trillian. The Vogons started firing again and the heroes ran for it. Unfortunately during their desperate escape attempt, two Vogons got a hold of Trillian.

"Trisha!" Arthur gasped, trying to save her, but Ford pulled him back.

"Not now, Arthur!" he said. "We WILL save her, but we got to get to safety first!" Arthur groaned, but nodded reluctantly. Everyone was able to make it back to the ship safely.

"What's going on?" JD asked as they all boarded. "Where's Trillian?" He looks behind the running group of heroes. "WHY IS THERE AN ARMY OF VOGONS BEHIND YOU?!?!"

"SHUT UP, JD!" they all screamed.

The starship's engines started firing up and quickly took off into space. Back on the planet, Jeltz turned to the two Vogons holding a struggling Trillian. "Bring her to Vogshere for questioning," he ordered.

_**M-M-M**_

Everyone on the _Heart of Gold_ quickly rushed to the control room. Drs. Cox and House were lounging about as they entered. Ford quickly handed Zaphod to them. "Jesus, what the hell happened to him?" House asked.

"His hangover was so bad that they had to cut off his second head," Daffy answered sarcastically.

"They got her!" Arthur panicked, pacing around the room. "And it's all my fault! We have to go! Let's go!"

"Yeah! Let's go!" Zaphod shouted stupidly, pulling out the little red cube he got from Humma and placed it into a part of the control panel. "Whoo! Eddie, take us to Magrathea!"

"What?!" Arthur shook his head. "No, no, no! We've got to go after the Vogons to save Trisha!"

"Who?" Zaphod asked, rubbing his aching temples.

"Trillian!" Arthur shouted, exasperated. "They've got Trillian, you stupid half-brained git!"

"Monkey Boy!" Zaphod pulled him into a hug.

"Get off me!" he threw the half-brained git to the floor. "Right, you're coming out!" Arthur pulled out the red cube. "Eddie, we don't want to go to Magrathea yet, we want to follow those Vogon ships!"

"Oh I'd love to fella," Eddie answered, "but wouldn't you know it? My guidance system has been deactivated."

"OH, COME ON!!!" Arthur shouted in disbelief.

"I'm sorry about that," Eddie apologized, "but it wasn't my fault."

"Calm down, Arthur. I promise we'll find Trillian," Rika assured him, patting his shoulder.

"Oh…" Arthur took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay…any ideas, Ford?" he turned to his old friend.

"Marvin?" Ford asked. "Any ideas?"

"Oh sure," House rolled his eyes. "Ask the manically depressed android who wouldn't give a rat's ass about us if we were mere seconds from death and only he could save us."

"I've been talking to the ship's computer," Marvin intoned.

"And?" Arthur asked hopefully.

"It hates me," Marvin sighed defectively. Arthur looked ready to dismantle the robot into pieces. "I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself into its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the universe to it."

"And what happened?" Bender asked, interested.

"It committed suicide," Marvin answered dismally.

"Eddie?" Rika asked. "Is there any other way to follow the ships?"

"Activating Emergency Escape Pod!" Eddie declared joyously. "It's super-neat and fun to fly!"

_**M-M-M**_

"Get your blood arm out of my way, Newbie!" Cox shouted, pushing JD away as everyone was crammed into a very, very, very tiny red space pod.

"Okay, I'm in," Arthur whispered, looking around the very complicated controls of the pod and apparently there wasn't any steering wheel. "Okay…any ideas, people?"

"Okay, we'll just push this button," Ford does so and a screen started flashing and beeping say, "PLEASE DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON AGAIN!"

"Oh, no, no, no, no!" Stitch shouted. "Don't push it!"

"Okay…" Ford, not listening, pushed the button again. And out came a tiny steering wheel.

"Oh! Okay!" Arthur clapped his hands. "Good man! Good man!"

"You forgot your towel," Zaphod said idiotically, putting Arthur's towel around Arthur's eyes.

"GET HIM OFF ME!" he shouted. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!!!" Yakko and Wakko pulled Zaphod and the towel off him. "Okay…uh…how do I drive this? We just keep wobbling."

"Is this better?" Bender asked, pushing a button, causing the tiny pod to shake around.

"No! No, that's w-w-worse!" Porky said.

"How about this?" Daffy pushed a button, turning on the windshield-wipers.

"We don't need that!" House snapped.

"Can we stop the rocking?" Wakko groaned, looking green. "I feel sick."

"Marvin, any ideas?" Arthur asked.

"I have a million ideas," Marvin responded. "They all point to certain death."

"Thanks very much, Marv!" Arthur growled.

"Geez…" Dot shook her head. "Men and driving, huh Rika?"

"Amen, sister," Rika nodded, she and Dot pounded it.

_**M-M-M**_

Meanwhile, back on Volatile Six, Humma Kavula happily played with his new bobble-head.

"Hey! Stop hitting me!" Zaphod's second head shouted. "Ow! Stop it! Oh…this bobbling is making me sick…"

"Not a chance," Humma smacked Zaphod's head again.

"Sir?" a priest walked into his office. "Your guests are here."

"Ah," Humma nodded. "Bring them in."

The priest bowed politely and in walked four people. Leading the other three was a young Asian man. He had long black hair, small red beady eyes and wore a dark brownish-green full-body armor. Just being in his presence, you could feel a great power radiating from him.

The next person was a teenage boy. He had a spiky, red hair and he had a painted on scar under his eye. He wore yellow goggles, a black trench coat, black trousers, and black and gold boots. You can just tell he was a mama's boy.

The third person wasn't even a person. He was a tiny alien who had green skin, a flat head, two black antennas and a pair of huge pink eyes. He wore a purple sweater, a robotic purple and silver backpack, long thin black gloves, and long thin black boots.

The final person also wasn't human. He was a robot. A little gray robot, even smaller than the alien, with blue eyes and a plate on his chest. On his head was an antenna. He had as stupid look on his face.

"Ah," Humma bowed before the man. "Chase Young. What a pleasure it is to be in the presence of a great Heylin warrior."

"Humma Kavula," the man, now known as Chase Young greeted with a bow as well. "I hope his world I provide for you has served you well?"

"Aw, come on!" the teenaged boy wined. "You give this nerd a world and me, Jack Spicer: Evil Boy Genius! Gets nothing? And I've been working for you longer!"

"Quiet, Spicer!" Chase hissed to his minion, making him shriek like a girl and cower before him.

"Heh, heh, dumb human…" the alien chuckled to himself.

"Shut it, Zim!" Jack growled to the tiny alien known as Zim.

"I love piggies!" the robot, named GIR shouted randomly.

"To answer your question, Chase," Humma said, "yes, it has. Soon, near all worlds will fall to my religion…"

"What?" Zim asked with a raised eyebrow. "That the universe was created by getting sneezed out of a nose? Who would believe that?! Us Irkens sure won't!"

"…as soon as that moron returns with that gun," Humma continued, nobody listening to the tiny alien.

"And you will have my support all the way," Chase assured him. "And the girl?"

"She should have been captured by the Vogons by now."

"Heh," Chase smirked. "Leave it to Maleficent to take care of things for me while I'm the one advancing in my plans."

"But what about her father?" Humma queried. "Surely, he'll be trouble."

"He's already, how should I put this? Taken care of," Chase chuckled darkly. "Now…our agreement?"

"Of course," Humma nodded. He walked over to the same drawer he took out the red cube. He then pulled out a sphere that looked like a Wonder Cube and had many buttons on it (**Sounds familiar, huh?**). He held it in his palm and smiled as he handed it over to Chase. "I just wonder how you are going to solve it."

"Oh, it won't be me solving it," Chase smirked. "Get cracking." He tossed it over to Jack, who fumbled over himself to catch.

"Say what?" Jack, Zim and Humma asked. GIR was busy hugging a pig dolly.

"He solved that puzzle box that witch, Wuya was trapped in," Chase answered, walking away, not even looking back. "I'm sure you can solve a puzzle like that, right?"

"Uh…sure, Chase! No problem at all!" Jack laughed arrogantly.

"You have no clue, don't you?" Zim deadpanned.

"Can we get some tacos on the way home?"

_**End of Chapter 8**_

NL: There he is! My second main villain of my fic!

Time: Chase Young?! I didn't see him coming!

Mystery: And he's got Zim and GIR as minions! That oughta be hilarious!

Wolf: But what did he mean by "take care of" Sora?

NL: You'll find out later!

May the Force be With You. May the Power Protect You. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish.


	10. Meanwhile, With The Side Characters…

NL: Hello, readers! Well, for this chapter I've decided to go and focus on the minor characters of the fic.

Mystery: Like us? And what happened to Kuro?

NL: Exactly! And some more info on the bad guys! BTW you know how I referenced the Purifiers as Keybladers? Yeah…I changed my mind. Mind forgetting that yourselves? It's exactly the same, just forget the Keybladers part. Thanks!

_**Chapter 9: Meanwhile, With The Side Characters…**_

Meanwhile, in a world, far from where our heroes were, it was nighttime. And the rain pouring on buckets of water wasn't exactly making it any more cheerful. On this world was a club known to few and all baddies as the _House of Villains_. A club where the worst of the worst bad guys dare roam.

A lone usher stood outside its doors. The usher was big tall man with white hair and humongous muscles. Biceps, triceps and any other -ceps you can think of, he has it! He wore a green military uniform, on his head was a tiny, little golden crown and he wore a yellow jetpack on his back. And he carried a giant weapon that had a golden star on it's top. But this man wasn't truly a man. He was a fairy. Yeah…kinda weird to see a buff dude like that with a weapon and helmet-ware like that, huh? But then again, what else would a fairy wear? And at least the jetpack ain't girly like wings or something.

The fairy stood in a complete frozen position. On-guard for anything intruder. And that is exactly what he saw. He squinted his eyes to a figure walking through the rain-pattered street. The figure wasn't that tall and wore a full-body black trench coat, complete with black boots and gloves. And the coat's hood was up and completed shrouded the figure's face, making his identity unknown.

The figure was about to walk into the _House of Villains_ when the fairy held out his wand, which was glowing red, blocking the figure's way. "What is your business here?" the fairy usher said in a calm, but demanding tone. His voice sounding like a certain governor of California with a hint of an Australian accent.

"Jorgen Von Strangle?" the figure spoke in a bit of a high voice with an accent that was an equal blend of someone from the Bronx and someone from Brooklyn. "I didn't know you were a villain."

"This is a part-time job," the usher, now know as Jorgen explained. "When I'm not busy running Fairy World, I'm a usher for the club. NOW STATE YOUR BUSINESS OR COWER UNDER MY MIGHTY MUSCLES!" he roared in powerful voice, his wand raised, glowing, a mighty wind suddenly surround the two and lighting struck in the background.

The figure…wasn't impressed. "Kinda clichéd a bit, don'tcha think, doc?" the figure asked nonchalantly.

"Grr…" Jorgen growled, getting annoyed with this "man." "Who do you think you are?"

"Me?" the figure pointed to himself. "Why, I'm the caterer of this joint. Now if you'll let me in…"

But, once again, his path is blocked off, but Jorgen's giant wand. "Who ordered you here?" Jorgen asked.

"Uh…Binky?" the figure answered hopefully.

"BINKY!" Jorgen roared again, slamming mighty wand upon the ground, causing a tiny, little floating fairy poof-up, who looked extremely scared. "Did you order this caterer to cater this club?" Jorgen asked the fairy, most likely Binky, calmly.

"Uh…" Binky paused, wanting to answer an answer that wouldn't end up him getting beaten to a pulp. "…Yes?"

"YOU FOOL!!!"

Jorgen's wand was raised and a huge blast of magical energy incinerated Binky. The figure winced under his hood. "That oughta hurt."

Jorgen then turned back to him. "I'm sorry, but we of the _House of Villains_ will not be requiring your catering help."

"Oh it's fine…" the figure sighed sorrowfully and dramatically struck a depressed pose with his right hand over his face. "It's just…my children will have to go with another night of empty tummies…What with me going from dead-end job to another dead-end job…And so many of them sick…One has ammonia. Five has cancer. And ten have anime-addicteditous. I must say that they are the worst off…I will leave you now…to my homeless sheltered life…" The figure turned to Jorgen, who was pretty much unfazed.

"Oh! Look at the time!" the figure suddenly pulled his trench coat's left sleeve up to reveal a watch. "It's time to scramble the fairies!"

"Ooo!" Jorgen squealed like a young schoolgirl. "I love to scramble the fairies! Time for my break!" He raised his powerful wand and disappeared in a small nuclear-explosion-like poof.

As the dust cleared from the poof, the figure chuckled to himself as he walked through the doors of the club. "What a maroon…"

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Meanwhile, on another world, No Limit and his group of superheroes were leisurely walking the streets of Twilight Town. On their way to the mysterious mansion that was once residence to Ansem the Wise.

"So what's so special of Ansem's computer again?" Time Zone asked nonchalantly as he picked his ear for earwax.

Mystery smacked her forehead. "Geez! Can't you remember something for at least _two stinkin' minutes_?!"

"Nope!" he answered simply. Mystery starts to develop one of those anime veins on the top of her head, as she grows more aggravated. In the end she raised her fist over Time's head and slammed her fist on it.

Wolf sighed, "All you need to know is that we need to get to it before anyone bad gets to it. Simple enough for you?"

"History at school was easy and I didn't even past that!" Time groaned, tending to a massive lump on his head from Mystery's attack.

"But you're a time traveler!" Mystery smacked her forehead again. NL couldn't help but chuckle to himself.

_Was Time Zone ever really that stupid?_

_Nah. He's just lazy._

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Pretty soon, the group of heroes was standing outside the gates of the old mansion.

_I don't know about this, NL…I feel like there's a trap._

_Ah, you worry too much, YuUsha._

_Fine! But don't come crying to me when you guys are in a cage!_

_Aw, don't be like that!_

"Yo! NL! You comin'?"

NL snapped out of his conversation and saw Wolf was calling to him as the others already entered the estate. "Yeah!" NL quickly ran in with them.

They all got a good look around. Dust was on top of every object and looked as if it hasn't been touched in years. "Alright," Wolf waved for them. "Enough with the sightseeing. We gotta find that computer." Unknown to them, they were being watched…

_**SLAM!!!**_

A giant cage came down from the ceiling and slammed down over NL, Mystery, Time Zone and Wolf. "What in the world…?" Mystery gasped.

"Where'd this cage come from?" Time asked, trying to lift the cage.

"Easy, guys," NL waved calmly. "I'll just whip out _Limit Break_ and we'll be free in no time!" NL held out his gloved hand and concentrated to bring out his Keyblade…But it didn't come! "What the hell?"

_YuUsha! Come on out! Don't tell me you're angry!_

"_Don't bother trying…_"

The group looked upward and saw a man fall down from the ceiling and land gracefully on his feet. He looked like a clown and wore a purple suit and spats, fingerless gloves and was wearing no shoes. He had wild green hair and very cold, evil red eyes. He then began to laugh a clown laugh in a insane and twisted sort of way that sent chills down the group's spines and scared the living daylights out of the young Mystery.

"_Joker…_" NL and Wolf hissed.

"The one and only Clown Prince of Crime!" the clown known as Joker struck a introductory pose. "You should be flattered that I'm even here to capture you kids. Mr. J's here to welcome you to Joker's Fun House! Now tell me…_are you having fun yet?_" Joker smiled creepily, bareing all of his yellow teeth.

"Oh yeah…" Wolf snarled sarcastically. "Loads of fun."

"Oh, don't be like that," Joker put on a sad look. "You'll ruin my good day…"

"Enough, Joker."

Out of the darkness, walked out three other figures. One was a man wearing black and silver armor with a belt with several pockets, steel-towed boots and a mask covering his face, the right half of it was black with no eye-hole while the other half was light brown color with an eye-hole. Another was a man in black armor with a helmet that seemed to serve as a life support system and wore a black cape. And finally, the last man was in a black trench coat that was like that figure had at the _House of Villains_. And, like that figure, his hood was up and hidden.

"Aw…" Joker wined as he walked over to them on his hands. "I never get to have any fun since I joined this stupid organization."

Ignoring him, the one in the trench coat walked over to the cage with his arms behind his back. The group glared fiercely at him. The man paused in front of them. He then held out his hand and suddenly NL felt as the sphere in his pocket quivering. Suddenly, it flew out and sailed to the man's hand. NL quickly tried to grab it, but it was too late! The man held the sphere in his hand as he chuckled darkly.

"Thank you for delivering the map to us, No Limit."

"Damn it," NL cursed under his breath.

"The worlds' are doomed as we know it, isn't it?" Time sighed despondently.

"Geez! Lighten up, man!" Mystery smacked the upside of his head. "You're starting to sound like Marvin!"

_**YST-YST-YST**_

Meanwhile…Geez, I'm starting to sound like one of those 1960s' narrators from the old superheroes' shows, aren't I? Well anyway, out on another world (surprise, surprise), there was a gathering of some of the greatest minds of the universe. That gathering took place within the tower of the mightiest sorcerer in the universe, Yen Sid. And there he sat, in his traditional blue garb and magic wizard's cap. He sat at the far end of a table that was in the middle of a huge room.

Next to him was a small green, withered creature with pointed ears. He was very old, but you could feel a great power emitting from him. He was wearing a white robe and carried a brown cane. He was known as Yoda, a Jedi Master.

And next to him was an old man, but he was truly a spirit that has taken form just for this meeting. He wore red robes. He was Roku. A Past Avatar of a mighty nation of a world.

And next to him was another spirit, but this one looked more like a ghost. He had pale green skin, red eyes and a scar underneath his left eye. He wore a violet-colored robe with the hood up and he carried a staff with a clock on top of it. Interestingly, he had no definite age. For his body keeps on switching ages in the order of adult, child, old, adult and etc. He was Clockwork, the Ghost Master of Time and Knower of Everything Past, Present and Future.

And finally, the last person there was a living skeleton in a black robe and carried a large scythe. He went by many names: Death, the Reaper of Souls and the Grim Reaper. But we will just simply call him Grim. And yes folks, he was truly the Reaper. The being that brought death to all. Too bad he's under the service of a little girl and boy…And currently, he was on the phone with them.

"What do ya want now, mon?" Grim spoke in a Jamaican accent. "Wash the dishes? For crying out loud, girl! I'm in a very important meeting right now! Say what? Billy's got his nose stuck in the bender again? How'd he do it this time? Whad did you say, girl? Something about an ice cream cone and Dracula? I'll call you back!" He groaned as he crushed the cell phone in his fist and set the broken pieces ablaze.

"Truly amazing," Clockwork chuckled to himself. "Death is being ordered around by two small juvenals."

"I told you already!" Grim snapped at the ghost. "I lost a bet! I have no choice!"

Clockwork coughed, "Ahem…and all that for a one hamster's soul, ahem…"

"Why you…" Grim snarled, starting to raise his scythe.

"Go ahead," Clockwork said, bored. "I'm already dead."

"Enough, you two!" Yen Sid thundered, raising his hand to silence the two. Clockwork and Grim nodded, but as they sat down, they sent death glares to each other. "You all know why we're here…"

"Train young Rika, we must," Yoda spoke up. "Unskilled with the Keyblade, she is. No match for the Purifiers."

"But as we all know," Roku began, "we are bounded by one reason or another that forbids us from assisting her. We must seek someone who could do it for us."

"Well, I can do it," Grim put in. "But those lousy brats just won't allow it!"

"Besides, all you can teach her is how to bake cookies," Clockwork smirked.

"OH! Don't get me started!!!" Grim pointed his scythe at him again, only it was now glowing with underworld energy.

"Sadly, Sora, Mickey and Riku are incapacitated," Yen Sid sighed, thinking about what ill fate that has befallen our first heroes.

"Young No Limit could do it," Yoda suggested. "Trained-well in the art of the Keyblade, he is. Begun communicating with his weapon, he has."

"But it took him years to do that," Roku said. "And time isn't something we have right now!"

"I beg your pardon…" Clockwork smirked as he rose up his staff, "but I believe we have all the time in world…"

"But the Observants will surely see what you are doing?" Yen Sid asked.

"Heh, what they don't know, won't hurt me," he replied. Clockwork rose up from his seat. "Now, I think it's time for me to pick up a few youngsters. Time out." He pressed a button on top of his staff and disappeared as a couple of clock hands surround him.

"I don't like that ghost…" Grim growled. "Think he's Mr. Know-It-All! While we're left in the dark."

"Clockwork has his reasons," Roku said.

"If you ask me, I don't think we should trust him," Grim stated. "If he truly knows what will happen, he would tell us, would he not?"

"Time is a complicated thing," Yen Sid began. "Many people tried to solve the mysteries of time, space and it's continuum. And Clockwork is the one who has cracked it. He knows the consequences of revealing the future."

"Causes fear for people," Yoda continued for the wise wizard. "Fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering…"

"People would kill for knowledge of the future," Roku sighed. "Which is why Clockwork is the one to keep everything in order. Too much tampering with the past or present could result in the end of existence as we know it."

"Exactly!" Grim shouted. "How do we know Clockwork isn't working with the Purifiers? He could be probably wanting to end existence like those alien dudes from _Halo_!"

Yen Sid, Yoda and Roku looked at each other uncertainly. "Very well," Yen Sid finally made a decision. "We'll keep an eye on his motives, but I still trust Clockwork." The Grim Reaper growled but nodded.

"Now…" Yoda spoke-up. "Meet again soon we must. A great disturbance in the Force I feel. Another world gone…"

"Already?!" Roku gasped. "At this rate, all the worlds will be gone within six months!"

"Indeed," Yen Sid stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Then we must work faster than that."

"Well that was simply put…" Grim rolled his eye-sockets.

_**TWTNW-TWTNW-TWTNW**_

Out in the World That Never Was (And guess what? It's on another world. Gasp!) Maleficent was standing in her new domain of Xemnas' former one. She stood by a window of the castle, stroking the org on top of her staff. "I see…" she smiled darkly. "It seems my old friend is after the worlds' maps. How intriguing…"

"Old friend?" her right-hand servant, Pete asked as he scratched the top of his head. "That Chase Young fellow? Bah! He's got nuthin' on you! Besides, what's so special of maps of worlds?"

"Oh…it's not the map that matters…" a figure in a white suit and cape smirked knowingly. He had light green skin, red eyes, black hair that point straight upward and a small goatee. "It what it _unlocks_ that hold its value."

"Precisely," a man in red robes said in a warped voice. His face was a disgusting skull with horns jutting out of his forehead. Two beady red dots could be seen in his sockets. "With it, we would have the location of all the worlds' Keyholes, heroes destined to be the protector of his or her world and anyone we wish to seek out."

"Well THAT certain makes things easier," a man in black chuckled darkly. He looked pretty ordinary. Nothing special. Nobody would have guessed that he was actually a serial killer and holds many abilities he has stolen from others. "No more having to searching randomly. I could just pick them out from where they are, stick them on the wall and…" He licked his lips hungrily.

"That's sick, Sylar. Even for you," a figure that was taller than anyone there groaned, disgusted with his comrade. He was a whale-like alien in a black body suit and had a yellow plasma pistol holstered in it's sheath attached to his belt.

"What can I say?" the man in black known as Sylar shrugged. "I'm a sick person."

"I don't get what you see in brains," a little yellow alien walked in with a plate of sandwiches. He looked like Stitch, but more bloated and shorter ears. "Sandwiches are the best around."

"But what matters is the location of the Keyholes," a little hamster-like alien with a red cape and an H buckle held it up said. "With it, we can control that world! Hahahaha-AH! Ahem," the alien choked a little as he began his evil laugh.

"But…there is an easier way," Maleficent smirked as she held out her hand a little chain dropped from it. At the end of the chain, there was a little figurine. A Keychain…

_**WOT-WOT-WOT**_

Meanwhile, on a, guess what? Another world, Kuro's unconscious body could be scene by a lakeside, half of it in the water. He began to regain consciousness as he slowly opened his eyes. It was daytime and he shielded his eyes as the sun beamed upon him. Suddenly, he heard noises. Too tired from arriving on this strange new world, he could only do nothing and wait for whatever the noises came from. He was able to look over and saw in front of him…two beavers. One was yellow with a purple nose and the top of his head's hair stuck out. The other one was brown with a red nose and had a long uni-brow.

"Dare ya to poke it with a stick, Norbert," the brown beaver urged the other.

"I'm not going to poke it with a stick, Dagget!" the other beaver responded. "YOU poke it with a stick!"

"Hey," Kuro coughed, barely having any breath, but was able to catch their attention. "I'm awake, you know?"

"Oh spoot!" the brown beaver named Dagget shrieked. "We're all DOOMED as we know it! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" He began running around in circles until the yellow beaver named Norbert calmly held out his arm and Dagget stupidly ran into it, knocking him over.

"Sorry about that," Norbert said as he walked over Kuro's exhausted body. "My brother is a bit kooky in the brainy, if you catch my drift. You okay?" He held out his hand and help Kuro up, but Dagget quickly tackled Norbert into a nearby tree.

"Are you NUTS?!" Dagget shouted. "He just fell right out of the sky! He's an ALIEN!" He said the "alien" part dramatically as weird Sci-Fi music played.

"He seems okay to me," Norbert shrugged casually.

"_That's what they all say…_" his brother replied, shifting his eyes back and forth speciously.

Norbert mulled it over and finally said, "You, my dear younger brother, my dear, sweet, naive younger brother…are stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid," he dragged out stupid. "He's just a kid who needs some help. And now I suggest we give it to him." Norbert walked back to Kuro and helped him to his feet.

"Oh spoot…" Dagget pouted immaturely, waddling over to help his brother.

_**End of Chapter 9**_

NL: Well, here's the latest chapter! BTW to answer some of your maybe-questions, I used the Joker incarnation from _The Batman_ series. Mostly because he has better fighting capabilities than the other versions. And if Roku can communicate with Aang, why not with other folks with abilities that allow them to communicate with the dead?

Wolf: The Angry Beavers? What a joke…they're useless…

Time Zone: Hey, people probably said the same thing for Donald and Goofy before _Kingdom Hearts _came out!

Wolf: I guess…

Mystery: And we're captured! Spoot!

NL: Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter!

May the Force be With You. May the Power Protect You. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish.


	11. “Don’t Think”

NL: Wow! I made my 100 reviews already! Can I get a whoop, whoop?

Mystery & Time: Whoop! Whoop!

Wolf: Whoopiedoo…

NL: Thank you loyal reviewers and friends! And I saw _Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End_!!! Now I can FINALLY think on what to do when Rika's group gets there! And sorry for the long update! And…I think I _might_ attract some controversy on one line in this chapter…

Wolf: It's on Bush.

NL: Please don't give me a hard time on it!

_**Chapter 10: "Don't Think"**_

"For Trillian! And for justice!" Arthur yelled as he ran down the ramp way of the pod and onto the Vogsphere surface. It was a broad stretch of land between them and the city, dark, desolate, and really scary looking, but he proceeded bravely. "Come on, people! Are we men or mice?!

"Think he's taking this a step too far?" Cox asked House as the others also disembarked. Him, House and Marvin once again, staying behind.

"Oh yeah…" House agreed. "Wanna go see if this pod has any weapons to use to blow up others that we don't like?"

"Gladly," Cox said.

"Now I'm feeling much better about our predicament…" Marvin moaned dismally.

Meanwhile, Ford placed a strange helmet that looked like it had a juicer on top on Zaphod's only head, which was spouting random words such as, "Boobies!", "Alcohol!", "Votes!", and "I didn't do it!"

"Whatcha doing, Ford?" Rika asked.

"They have these on Arcturan megafreighters," Ford explained as he took out a special case. "Captains use them when they really need to concentrate."

"So…what is it?" JD asked.

"It's a thinking cap," Ford answered simply, taking out a lemon from the case.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about lemon:_

"_Lemon," it says, "is a fruit noted for its high acidic content and sour taste, often used in chemistry sets when more expensive, volatile acids such as sulfuric and hydrochloric can't readily be acquired. Mixed with sugar, this nullifies the sour taste and makes them somewhat edible; mixed in water, it makes lemonade, a delicious summertime beverage. It is an ingredient of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the best alcoholic beverage in existence. Lemon is also a term referring to highly (in some cases) descriptive erotic situations put down in written form, totally inappropriate for teens and young adults, meaning they are among the first things they search for when cruising the Galaxy Wide Web. But, of course, some kids get go into it without knowing what it is and results in traumatized minds, because they have not received "the Talk" from their parents yet. Sorta like a certain 15-year-old boy who wears a black and white jumpsuit. The Editors of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy are in desperate need of a lot more lemon in their lives too…for their drinks. Ha, ha, that's a joke. Isn't it funny?"_

_The editors of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy have also labeled this article under "pending massive rewrites." A lot of articles in the Guide are labeled that because the editors are either too lazy or are too busy reading lemons to actually do their stupid job._

Ford placed the lemon into the juicer part of the helmet and the juicer started spinning like crazy, along with Zaphod's eyes starting to bug out. Finally, the spinning stopped and Zaphod got a very thoughtful look on his face. "We are on the planet of Vogsphere, to rescue damsel-in-distress Trisha McMillan, whom I more or less kidnapped from her world to be my gal during my trip to Magrathea to acquire the Ultimate Answer from Magrathean computer, Deep Thought to make millions of dough……FOR JESUS, BUDDA, ALLAH, ZEUS, JEWISH GOD AND TOM CRUISE!!! RAWR!!!" Zaphod broke into a run as he charged with Arthur.

"That should give him some zest for about ten minutes," Ford said nonchalantly.

"'Some?'" Daffy echoed dully.

"By the way," Ford said as he took out the Guide. "I checked the Guide for the best way on how to rescue a prisoner from Vogsphere. It said, 'DON'T!' I'm assuming we have a better plan?"

"Come on, everyone!" Arthur shouted from a bit far ahead. "I think we can-" Something slapped out of the ground and smacked him in the nose. "OUCH!"

Everyone all stopped and looked at Arthur. "Uh, g-g-guys," Porky said, "I think the g-g-ground is-" Suddenly, something flew out and smacked his nose. "OUCH! What w-w-was THAT?!"

"I think," Daffy began, only to be whacked himself, causing his bill to point straight up in a cartoony fashion…quite similar to how it was in his cartoon: _Robin Hood Daffy_. "OUCH! Oh, man, now I know-"

WHACK!

"ARGH!"

"Everyone!" Ford yelled excitedly. "Stop thinking! No thinking! No ideas! No theories, no NOTHING!" They all stood stone still and nothing happened.

Bender and Stitch were the only two who kept running along, oblivious to everything that had happened. "Hang on, Trillian! Ol' Bender'll save the day!" Bender yelled. Stitch cackled wildly, shooting off blasters that he carries on his person into the air.

"Why aren't they affected?" Rika whispered.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ford replied softly. "Because these things, whatever they are, only attack you if you think!" It, whatever it was, shot up and whacked him in the face. He clutched his nose and whimpered miserably. "All right…on the count of three…one…Two…Three, RUN FOR IT!"

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!**" everyone screamed and made a break for it. Suddenly, they were popping out all over the place, like living rakes in a bad cartoon show, trying to whack them all in the nose.

"Don't think, don't think, don't think!" JD screamed. "Be like Zaphod! No intelligence whatsoever on display!"

"What's wrong with all of them?" Bender whispered to Stitch. The little blue guy shrugged indifferently. "I think-" A creature jumped up and whacked him in the nose…if he had one. "OUCH! OOH! Right in the shnaz!" Stitch laughed wildly at Bender's misfortune. "Oh! So you think it's funny, huh?"

"Yeah!" Stitch said, and was whacked in the face. "ARGH!" He jumped into the ground and began burrowing around like a mole, chasing after the offending little monster. "C'mere! I wanna eat ya!"

"RUN!" Janitor screamed. "Run if you value your rotten, lousy, no-good, stinking, miserable, misbegotten lives! My life sucks! Uh…because of association with JD!"

They reached the opposite end of the wasteland and ran to a building, huffing and puffing, wheezing fits bending them over double. "Gimme an army of Heartless any day," Rika winced, clutching her nose in pain. "I think I'm going to be sick…and have some severe brain damage…"

"Yeah, getting smacked in the face by shovel-like creatures so many times does that to ya," Janitor said as he pulled out a notepad from behind his back and wrote something on it. "Gotta remember to get one of those for JD…"

"Okay…not thinking…not thinking…but how are we going to save Trillian?" SMACK! "OW!" JD cried out in pain.

"We got an idea!" Wakko declared. SMACK! "OUCH!" Wakko massaged his little red nose. "Why you…" Wakko pulled out a little brown bag that read, "Gag Bag" from outta nowhere. He reached deep within it and pulled out a gigantic wooden mallet from the bag. "Who's up for some Wack-A-Mole?"

"Now, now, Wakko," Yakko grabbed a hold of the back of his younger brother's shirt as Wakko tried to run out to smack some alien creature. "We gotta do the plan! Ready, siblings?"

"Ready!" Dot declared as she saluted.

Wakko sighed. "Ready…"

"You guys stay here," Yakko ordered as he and his brother and sister entered through some double doors. "We'll take care of this…" The three kicked the doors open, all in black suits, sunglasses and carried some very shiny, silver guns from the movie, _Men In Black_.

"Yo, yo, yo! The W.I.B. Warners In Black is in the shiz-house!" Yakko declared as he set his gun to the side.

"Check it," Dot struck a rapper pose as she pointed to Wakko, who was behind a disk jockey table and started DJ-ing with a disco ball dropping from the building's ceiling and lit up the room with bright multi-color lights, but then disappearing.

"Yeah, boi!" Yakko struck another rapper pose.

"Should I contact our company's psychiatrist now?" a lone Vogon asked bleakly. Apparently, they just burst into an empty room with a single, dimming light dangling from the ceiling.

"Well, I think that was an utter waste of ninety-nine words," Daffy deadpanned…then his bill getting smacked upward by one of those annoying, little buggers. "Prefect…"

_**M-M-M**_

They wandered down the bland, gray-tone hallways, florescent lights flickering uncomfortably above them, dozens of paneled doors on either side leading to various departments. The Department of Civil Defense; The Department of Terra Cotta Lamps; The Department of Cheese Doodles; The Department of Lost Bowling Balls; The Department of Bad Neckties; The Department of Loose Change; The Department of Nuclear Test Kittens; The Department of Self-Inflicted Lacerations; The Department of Whacked Fan Fiction; and so on and so forth.

"We're never going to find anything in this tangled web of bureaucracy!" Ford muttered in disgust. "And forget asking for assistance from the help desk!" A particularly ugly female Vogon in a polka dot dress sat behind the big desk, stamping files, putting them into neat piles, and then tossing them down a chute marked, "INCINERATOR". "They'll be more likely to give you an earful of poetry instead of advice!"

"You guys wait here," Rika said, pointing to some uncomfortable benches in the waiting lounge, which were rather taller than their tallest crewmember's (Janitor) head. "I'll take a look around. See if there's anything I can unlock…literally or metaphorically. You're coming too, Ford. You gotta have SOMETHING in the Guide on Vogshere."

"Sure, Rika, but I gotta bring Zaphod along too…" Ford said, his arm being held on to tightly by Zaphod like a child to its parent. "He's kinda suffering from separation anxiety ever since his second head was…well, you were there."

"I better come too, Rika," Arthur insisted. "I'm British. I know how to queue."

There were lots and lots of difference creatures from nearly every known world, spanning every known dimension, all waiting in line to get their fair shake. As this was Vogsphere, everyone knew that was about as likely as rescuing a Vogon's grandmother from a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

After waiting for near what seemed like hours of waiting on line and it doesn't seem to have moved since they were still at the end of it, Arthur said to Zaphod, "You're President! Can't you do anything?"

"I thought you knew how to queue?" Rika smirked.

"Well, this is a whole new kind of queue!" Arthur snapped. "It's like this planet invented it and holds a competition of it every. Single. SECOND!" He emphasized on the last three words.

"Presidents don't have power," Ford rolled his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "Their job is to draw attention away from it. I mean, no offence, man. You're a great guy. Look at Bush, for example! He's kinda screwed Earth when America got into war with Iraq or Afghanistan or whatever country they're fighting these days…not that it matters, since Earth was destroyed."

"Thank you for bringing up my planet's destruction, Ford…" Arthur muttered despondently.

Throughout this conversation, Zaphod had thought up a plan. "Hey, everybody!" he shouted at the top of his lungs so everyone in the room heard him. "It's me! Your President!" The once silent room immediately went into an uproar. The folks on line turned right around, making the first-in-line that last and the last-in-line the first.

"Wow, Zaphod _actually_ came up with a pretty good idea!" Rika gaped, mouth open, totally surprised the now-single-head President/Ultimate Party boy of the Universe did something smart.

"Hey! I was the one who suggested he'd do something!" Arthur exclaimed but then his head went limp. "Oh…what's the point in trying?" The group of four managed to walk pass everyone, heading for the front of the line. Zaphod shaking hands, giving kisses to babies, and signing autographs all the way. Finally, they walked up to the female Vogon clerk.

"Hi, um…we've come for the release of a prisoner?" Rika asked the female Vogon unsurely.

"Prisoner release form?" the Vogon requested dully, holding her hand out.

"Uh…"

_**M-M-M**_

"Check all the boxes of the right-hand side of the page," Ford read from the Guide, instructing Rika, who was quickly writing up a prisoner release form for Trillian.

"Right, I've got it," Rika nodded, doing so.

"Not that one!" Ford quickly grabbed Rika's arm from checking one box.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on being stuck with no hope of rescue:_

"_Consider," it says, "how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which, given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer. Quite how No Limit 5 has to meet the demands of his reviewers by updating this story and all the other stories he has written for the Cartoon X-over section. They threaten him with death notes and he responds by choosing to ignore them. No Limit 5's current location is unknown._

"Right, there we go," Arthur handed the form over to the female Vogon clerk, once again cutting everyone in line by shoving Zaphod through it.

"Oh, kidnapping the President," the Vogon intoned. "Eh, no, Trisha McMillan is not eligible for release at this time."

"WHAT?!" the group half screamed and half groaned.

"Right." Arthur grabbed the scruff of Zaphod's shirt and pulled him in front of the Vogon. "Look. See him? This. This is the President! Okay? He says the whole kidnapping business was just a horrible misunderstanding! She didn't mean anything by it. He's ordering you to let her go!"

The female Vogon paused for a moment and then said, "But this isn't a _presidential_ release of prisoner form. Those are color coded blue."

Arthur's right eye winced.

_**M-M-M**_

Meanwhile, Trillian was tied up in chains and was being lowered by a guard Vogon by use of a pulley system into a rumbling cage that contained a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Apparently, this is the sentence for kidnappers of Presidents. Trillian struggled to break free, but gave up when she knew it was no use.

"Oh, he's hungry today," Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz chuckled sadistically.

"Sir?" the female Vogon clerk walked into the room with a _blue_ form. "Sir, it's a release form."

"Hmm?" Jeltz took the form from her and looked it over thoroughly. He growled to himself, "Release the prisoner…"

_**M-M-M**_

The heroes sat patiently in the lobby, on the uncomfortable benches, waiting for Trillian. Everyone staring straight ahead at nothingness rather monotonously…

"Who are we waiting for again?" Bender asked dully.

"Zooey Deschanel," Yakko answered him just as lifelessly.

Suddenly, the double doors leading into the building swung open and Trillian was just thrown right through them. "Well, that's a nice way to treat a lady," Dot said sarcastically, crossing her arms.

"Trillian!" Arthur exclaimed joyously, running towards her in slow motion with open arms, like one of those cheesy romance movies that chicks like to watch. Trillian stood up marched right past Arthur, who just stood in a running position and arms still open. Apparently stunned. Trillian marched right towards…Zaphod?

"Hey, babe," Zaphod smiled, only to have himself slapped across the face by Trillian, Jack Sparrow-style.

"You IDIOT!" she screamed.

"You j-j-just realized that?" Porky asked drearily.

"HE signed the order to destroy my world!" Trillian shouted.

"He did?!" everyone minus Trillian and Zaphod gasped.

"I did?" Zaphod asked himself.

"YES!" Trillian flung a form at Zaphod and then it landed on the floor. Rika craned her neck to read on the paper that bared a signature.

_Love and kisses, Zaphod_

"You didn't even _read_ it, did you?!" Trillian continued her rave.

"Honey, I'm President of the Galaxy," Zaphod replied, completely unfazed. "I don't get a lot time for reading."

"My entire planet, my home destroyed all because you thought somebody wanted your autograph!" Trillian started smacking him with whatever was lying around.

"They framed me!" Zaphod shouted, using his arms to protect himself from the attacks, looking towards the others helplessly, but they just glowered at him.

But then Zaphod got his relief as Trillian turned to Arthur. "You knew the whole time, didn't you? Back on the _Heart of Gold_, you said something about, 'not going back'. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well…uh…how to put this?" Arthur said awkwardly. "Zaphod, um…he…uh, threatened me," he finished lamely.

Trillian shook her head, totally fed up with men everywhere. "Get a backbone, Arthur!" she snapped, walking straight out of the building, the others following her.

"A backbone?!" Arthur snapped, staring in disbelief and following suit to the outside. "What about coming here to rescue you?! Thank you! My idea!" SMACK! "OUCH! STUPID, NO GOOD-!" I'd…rather not repeat what he says next. Besides, the bleep machine'll just bleep it out.

_**M-M-M**_

"OH, that Keyblade bearer child tests my patience!" Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz snarled to himself. "Ready my ship!" he ordered another Vogon, until a loud whistle has been rung. "Oh. That's one hour for lunch, everyone." The Vogons rose themselves up to head for the Vogon cafeteria. "I think I'll have soup today…"

_**End of Chapter 10**_

NL: Well! That was crazy chapter! And mind telling me how you think I handle my characters? I feel as though some are out of character. I appreciate that for those who do!

"_Don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive."_

_-Bugs Bunny_

Yeah…decided to use favorite/meaningful quotes to end chapters instead.


	12. Magrathea

NL: And we're back!

Mystery: That's good. And I hope this is the last chapter for the Hitchhiker's arc, cuz it's been, like 5 or 6 chapters already!

NL: Calm down! Yes, this is the second to last chapter for the Hitchhiker's arc.

Wolf: About time, maybe next chapter we'll describe our daring escape from the new Organization?

NL: Maybe, I'll have to work it out. In the mean time…enjoy the second-to-last Hitchhiker's chapter! BTW, Marvin's lines in this chapter are a joke. Not to be taken seriously!

_**Chapter 11: Magrathea**_

Rika sat by the corner of the control room/living room/observation bay of the starship, _Heart of Gold_, right next to Marvin's little niche with him inside it. She sat by and looked out the window, holding her legs together and close to her chest, pondering on some things. She looked into the room, seeing what her other crewmembers was up to. Daffy was in a powerful poker match between himself, House, Stitch and Bender. All sitting around a table with a bunch of munny on top of it.

"Alright-y then…" Daffy picked up his hand, wearing one of those poker shade…hat…things. He saw his first card.

An Ace.

He looked at the second card.

Another Ace.

Third? Another Ace.

Daffy's eyes started to widen. Could he possibly be that lucky?

And his fourth card was…AN ACE! No, friggin', way! And his fifth card was a King, but Daffy was more concerned with the greatest hand he has ever received in his long, documented and animated life. "I put in the rest of my and Porky's cash!" Daffy declared as he threw the munny balls upon the table.

"B-b-but, Daffy, that's the last of our munny!" Porky panicked.

"Don't worry, old buddy, old pal of mine, I've got this game in the bag," Daffy winked assuring-ly…which really didn't comfort Porky at all.

"Y-y-you all can f-f-figure out what happens next," Porky sighed to you, the reader.

"Read it and weep, boys!" Daffy tossed his hand on to the table, revealing it and began reaching over to take the table full of money. But House grabbed his feathered arm.

"Don't think so, ducky…" House sighed, as though pitying the poor Looney Tune. He calmly put down his hand…

A Royal Flush.

Daffy's eyes looked frantic as sweat poured down his face, when he turned to you, the reader. "Unbelievable, isn't it?"

"Oh…come to papa," House giggled happily, reeling in the munny that Daffy once thought was his.

"Well, we're broke," Stitch and Bender said in unison as they threw down their hands as well.

"Daffy…" Porky glared angrily at the poor waterfowl.

"Uh…calm down, Pork-ster!" Daffy said nervously as he backed away from the angry farm animal. "Remember the good times we had together? Like the time I sold your sister to the sausage factory! Oh…that wasn't a happy memory…How about the time I ruined your invention that would have made you billions of dollars! Oh wait…then the time I sold you out to save my feathery butt when I sabotaged the Looney Tune Land and Mars peace treaty! I should shut up now, shouldn't I? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Daffy bolted into a run as Porky ran after him, arms a stretched to strangle that darn-fool duck.

Rika smiled as she turned over to see Arthur walking over Trillian, who sat on a seat by the kitchen, still upset.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about love:_

"_The Encyclopedia Galactica," it says, "in its chapter on love, states that it is far too complicated to define. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love. 'Avoid, if at all possible.' Unfortunately, Arthur Dent has never read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No Limit, on the other hand, says that love doesn't even exist, especially true love. Perhaps that is the reason that the superhero, No Limit, goes through a girlfriend a week. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy editors just can't believe such a loser like No Limit can even talk with a girl, let alone get a girlfriend._

"Um…Trillian?" Arthur stammered. "Uh…er…look. Trillian, I just wanted to say that you were right, of course. I should've told you, and I understand totally if you're angry with me…um…for what it's worth, I know how you must be feeling…um…I would also like to say, remember when we first met at that party? You've asked me to go with you to Madagascar, and I said no? If I did say yes…neither of us would be here right now…I just thought that might count for something." Trillian didn't even reply. She did hear him, but was looking out into space…quite literally. "It doesn't matter," Arthur sighed, walking away in a defeated manner, dragging his green towel behind him. Trillian turned for a brief second and watched him walk away.

Rika, still by the corner, smiled. They were going to be okay, but then looked out the window again. Obviously, something was up on her mind. "Normally, I would make a witty and depressing comment on Life, the Universe and Everything that make you near suicidal, but I actually would like to ask…what's the matter?" Marvin asked to a very surprised Rika.

"Heh, no big deal, Marvin," Rika sighed. "Just wondering on my purpose in life."

"To die."

"Say what?" Rika asked, eyes wide.

"Your purpose is to die," Marvin intoned dismally. "Everyone's is. A cruel fact of life. But who am I to judge? Brain the size of a planet and you all have me as brief little cameos. Oh, how I loathe thee, No Limit. You rarely give original lines for me to say when I can have much more intellectual and depressing lines and quotes. Damn you all. But back from the fourth wall breaking, you are to die, but it doesn't mean you aren't going to do something significant to the universe and be remembered forever. But unlike you, everyone will only know me as the manically depressed and paranoid android that spouts random words of misery."

Rika stared at Marvin for the longest time. "Er…I guess…thanks for the advice?"

"No need for appreciation," Marvin sighed. "I'll get my relief when you all perish."

"I'm leaving now," Rika declared, walking away.

"Sigh," Marvin feeling so depressed that he actually said the word sigh. "Go ahead and leave me in my time of need…not that you will have anything to offer, of course."

"Alright…" Zaphod said wearily, sitting next to the control panel. "Eddie, take us to…Where are we heading to again?"

"Don't worry, Zaph," Ford said. "I'm going to get ya another lemon."

"Good…I could use a little entertainment."

"Not that kind of lemon."

"Well…are…we…readytogo…yetttt?" Yakko asked melodramatically, lips curling for emphasis around each syllable, wearing a red Star Trek uniform.

"Dammit, Yakko!" Wakko said, wearing a blue Star Trek costume. "I'm a cartoon star, not a space pilot!"

"Where's Sulu when you need him?" Dot asked, in a red one.

Meanwhile, Dr. Cox was in the medical bay, looking through the cabinets. "Oh sure, they have all these medical drug crap from other worlds, but not a single damn tongue depressor!"

"I can help ya with that." In walked the Janitor, sucking on a cherry Popsicle stick. He took a deep breath and sucked _hard_ on the ice cream, leaving a red dripping wooden stick, which Janitor promptly dropped into Cox's hand.

"Thanks, jumpsuit," Cox groaned as he dropped the stick into a nearby trashcan.

Just then, JD walked into the medical bay, singing a little tune. "_Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! There. You're as welcome as can be!_" Cox wiped his saliva and ice cream covered hand on his protégé's blue scrubs. "Oh, that's nice…"

"Shut up, Newbie and take it like a man," Cox said, walking out the room, now whistling the Mickey Mouse March.

"Speaking of Mickey Mouse," Janitor turned to JD, "wanna join the club?"

"Ha!" JD scoffed, crossing his arms. "I know fully well that club's been over of about 10 years!"

"Oh, but I'm starting a new one," Janitor said.

"Oh really?!" JD started clapping his hands, hopping up and down. "Let have it!"

"Okay, you asked for it." Janitor pulled out a large wooden club and bonked JD on the head with it.

"OW! What was that for?!" JD groaned, rubbing his head.

"You wanted the Mickey Mouse Club, here it is." Janitor turned the club over and on its side was a crudely craving in name of Mickey Mouse.

"Uh…I don't feel so good…" JD tried to walked out the room to the others, but kept wobbling

"Aw, you can't die now!" Janitor said, actually worried, following JD. "There's so much we haven't done! Like pushing you into a sea of Heartless. Or force-feeding you laxatives. And that old nose flicking gag. By the way, there's something on your shirt." JD looked down as Janitor's finger came up and flicked JD in the nose. "Ha! Classic!"

"Okay…let's be trying this again," Zaphod said, fetching the red cube he got from Humma Kavula and placing it in the control panel.

"Magrathean coordinates accept!" Eddie declared joyously. Zaphod wearily pushed the Improbability Drive button. "And engaging Improbability Drive!"

Instantly, the _Heart of Gold_ disappeared in a wink of an eye. It careened out of the improbability field, leaving in its trail dozens of teacups, roses, iPods, lemmings and an Elvis impersonator, coming into orbit around a large, gray world. On the bridge, everyone brushed away the red rose petals that were once a part of them. "We really gotta get those anti-improbability shields fixed," Trillian said grumpily.

Zaphod either didn't hear or didn't care or both, because he was looking out the view screen at the giant planet before them. "Yowza! Will you look at that! Lookee, lookee! Eddie! What is that world?"

"Guys, it blows my circuits to tell you that we're currently in orbit, in an altitude of 300 miles around the legendary world of Magrathea!" Eddie answered cheerfully. "Pretty neat, huh?"

Zaphod punched Ford in the arm and laughed uproariously. "Ha, ha, ha! Magrathea!"

"Yes!" Daffy cheered along with him. "Now for the Ultimate Answer and the billions of munny, sure to come!" Everyone aboard that starship watched in complete awe as the saw the world of Magrathea come closer into view. It certainly gave everyone a good feeling. Especially for Daffy and Zaphod.

"Incredible."

Everyone slowly turned their heads to see…Marvin? Marvin…the Paranoid Android…thinks something is incredible. "Simply incredible…" Marvin repeated. "It's even worse than I thought it would be." The crew all fell over anime-style. "Again with the damn anime references. Don't you people know that the Japanese are trying to take over America with their cartoons? A bit exaggerated, I must admit, but there's hardly anything on television these days without damn anime on it."

"Um…guys, we're receiving a message from the planet," Trillian said worriedly.

Instantly, an enormous, disembodied head appeared in the middle of the room, a wise old man with long gray hair and sad, knowing eyes. "Greetings. This is a recorded announcement as we are all out at the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your esteemed visit," the giant head continued, "but regrets to tell you that the entire planet is temporarily closed. If you would like to leave your name and a planet where you can be contacted, kindly do so at the tone." The head vanished.

"How can a planet be closed?" Rika queried.

"Ma-ma-ma, perhaps they're c-c-cleaning it?" Porky suggested.

"All right, Eddie!" Zaphod yelled, pumping his three hands. "Keep going. Take us to fame and fortune!"

"But he said to turn back," Rika said. "Shouldn't we do what he said?"

"Puh-leeze!" Zaphod scoffed. "You maybe a redhead and brunette mix, but you think like a blonde! That wasn't real, just some ancient recording! Obviously, there's something down there they don't want anyone to have, so they made that to scare off trespassers! Well, if there's something down there they don't want me to have, that just makes me want to have it even more! Eddie, land the ship!"

"I'd be happy to!" Eddie toned in.

The starship _Heart of Gold_ moved from orbit into the atmosphere, and the big head suddenly reappeared. While his tone didn't change one bit, the old man's eyes were more stern now. "It is gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will enjoy the two thermo-nuclear missiles we've just to converge with your craft. To ensure on-going quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you, and have nice day." Again, the head vanished.

"All right, now we should REALLY turn back," Stitch said firmly. "Nuclear missiles HURT!"

"Nooooo," Zaphod replied. "Now we should REALLY land this ship and find that supercomputer. And all the other oodles and oodles of cash and merchandise we can loot too!"

"Um, Zaphod," Trillian said, grimacing slightly. "I think we won't."

"Who's in charge of this operation, huh? You or me?"

"It's not that," Trillian said quickly. "Care to break the news, Eddie?"

"I'll be glad to!" Eddie declared far too cheerfully. "I'm delighted to tell you that there are two nuclear missiles heading right for us!" Trillian punched up the view screen and, indeed there were two bright, white, shiny missiles rocketing towards them from the planet's surface.

"Great Mother of Zarquon in a birch bark canoe!" Zaphod gasped. "Do you realize what this means?!"

"Yes!" Ford yelled. "We're dead!"

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean, whatever on that planet is so valuable they're willing to blow us to smithereens to protect it! Woo-hoo! We've hit the mother loving jackpot! We're filthy, stinking rich!"

"Little good it'll do us if we're atomic space dust!" Bender yelled, retracting his limbs and head into his mechanical body like a turtle.

"If you don't mind," Eddie said. "I'm go ahead and take evasive action."

JD, Stitch, Daffy and Porky started screaming and running in circles, while Trillian grappling with the controls. "Oh man, the manual controls aren't responding!"

"I _see trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom for me and you, and I think to myself…what a wonderful world_," Eddie the computer sang sweetly.

"SHUT UP!" everyone screamed at it.

"You aren't helping matters, Eddie!" Trillian snarled.

Eddie harrumphed angrily. "Well! That's a fine how-do-you-do! I was merely trying to alleviate the sudden stress levels in the room my sensors suddenly indicated having spiked 1000 in ten seconds! Excuse me for being a decent soul! By the way, impact in 42 seconds. Handing over manual control. Good luck." The computer suddenly ceased responding and the ship dropped like a rock out of the sky.

It should be noted that by this point, the stress levels were indeed spiking, and rapidly rising ever higher to the point serious health complications would ensue. For the reader's health, let it be said right now that nothing serious happens and no injuries are incurred save for a small bruise someone receives on their upper right arm in the subsequent chain of events. The only damage sustained will be a broken tea cup and a mop. To keep some suspense, the recipient of the small bruise shall remain undisclosed.

"Did we lose 'em?" Zaphod asked as the ship continued dropping.

"No," Ford asked with an amazingly calm face. "They're heading right for us."

Rika crawled across the floor, fighting the immense forces straining against her body, reaching helplessly for the big button in the hopes pressing it would provide _something_. Mere feet from her goal, she summoned her Keyblade and smacked it down with all her remaining strength. Instantly, the Infinite Improbability Drive ignited, but without any proper coordinates, did nothing except send out a blast of improbability in every direction, engulfing the missiles and ship.

When it cleared, Zaphod popped up from under the couch, eating some cereal out of its box. "Wow…where are we?"

"Uh…" Trillian wobblingly stood up, hair all frizzed. "Exactly…where we were."

"What about the missiles?" House asked.

Ford stared in disbelief as he pulled out a pair of glasses to see that it wasn't fooling him. "Apparently, they've turned…into a bowl of petunias and a very surprised-looking whale." Everyone focusing on the large sperm whale and small bowl of petunias floating in front of them before plummeting to the surface below.

"And an improbability factor of 8,767,128 to 1 against…" Eddie said in awe as he came back online.

"We have normality," Trillian declared, looking at the controls.

"Normality, pft, yeah right," Cox scoffed. "We can talk about normality till JD grows a pair."

"What is normal?" Rika asked deeply.

"A proper cup of tea would restore my normality," Arthur groaned.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the infamous "Whale and Bowl of Petunias Incident.":_

"_The Whale and Bowl of Petunias Incident," it says, "occurred over the planet Magrathea when the Infinite Improbability Drive was activated, causing two thermo-nuclear missiles to transmogrify into a whale and a bowl of petunias. The results can be cataloged as such. Since this is not a natural tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought as it fell: 'Ah, whoa! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay, okay, calm down, get a grip now…he…ho…Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? It's a sort of tingling in my…Well I; I suppose I better start finding names for things. Let's call it…a tail! Yeah, a tail! Hey, what's this roaring sound whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? That'll do. Yay, yay, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's a lot of that now, isn't there? And what's this thing coming towards me every fast? So big and flat and round. It needs a big wide-sounding name, like ow, ound, round, ground! That's it! Ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me. Hello, ground!' This is all the whale had time to think of during its fleeting life span._

"_Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as if fell was, 'I just hope no one forgets one thing…it all began with a mouse.' SPLAT._

"_Many have speculated that if we knew exactly why the petunias had thought that, we should know a lot more about the nature of this crazy universe than we do now."_

"Now that was exciting AND suspenseful!" Zaphod said cheerfully. "I'd have hated it if someone had ruined the ending for me!"

"Ow! I think I bruised my arm," JD moaned, rubbing his shoulder.

"You big baby!" Janitor sneered, before noticing his mop snapped in two. "NO! My mop!" He held the two pieces in each of his hands. "Don't worry, girl…I'll get you fixed." He put them together and they actually stayed…for however the brief of the second as it fell apart again. "Oh…the good times we had together…" Janitor reminiscence the old times where he continually smacked JD in the head with the mop. "Good times…"

Trillian brought the ship in for a landing on a wide, even plain and everyone disembarked. Arthur blinked in astonishment upon seeing this alien landscape. "Wow, amazing!"

"Piece of garbage," Zaphod muttered, putting a pair of sunglasses over his two sets of eyes. "What a dung heap. Come on, let's find the entrance to the planet's underground!" He sauntered off jauntily, snapping his fingers and shuffling his feet.

"What's with the sunglasses?" Daffy asked. "It's cloudy out here!"

"Oh, these are my Peril-Senso-Matics," Zaphod answered. "They activate whenever I'm about to be confronted by danger by turning completely black, so that way I don't have to see the danger coming at me!" He grinned proudly.

"You are a m-m-major d-d-d, moron," Porky said, shaking his head at Zaphod's unrestrained antics.

They came to a small circle containing three large rings. "These look like dimensional portals," Ford said, reading from the Guide. "I think if we were to turn one on, it'd transport us to another part of the planet."

"Awesome!" Zaphod chuckled. He sauntered up to one and pressed the button, and it roared to life like a jet engine, sucking in air and whipping their hair around their faces. "Excellent! This is totally awesome! That Answer is as good as mine!"

"This will all end in tears, I just know it," Marvin groaned slightly.

"Are you crazy?!" Daffy shouted, sending spit everywhere. "I'm not going into the swirling vortex of certain doom!"

"I agree with the waterfowl!" Arthur declared.

"Me too," Rika added. "We can't just step into that. We don't even know where it leads."

"If we pick the wrong one, we'll just come back, and we pick another one. It's not biggie," Ford shrugged.

"It's a big biggie, Ford!" Arthur shouted. "Why do you always have to be so calm?! 'Don't Panic.' That's the biggest load of dung I ever heard! Same with towels!"

"Hey!" Ford snapped. "You can mock me…you can mock the Guide…but don't you DARE mock the mighty towel!"

"Okay, FINE! But why should we listen to a man whose brain is fuelled by lemons?!" Arthur shot back.

Zaphod ignored everyone as he took one step to the gateway…and his glasses turned completely black. "Whoa, I'm blind!" Although he couldn't see it, everyone else could, having to shield their eyes as a bright light enveloped them and suddenly everyone vanished into the portal in the wink of an eye.

_**End of Chapter 11**_

NL: Well…what do you think? Am I getting better? I'm trying to give Rika more screen time. I think I did…

Wolf: Not really…

"_It just goes to show you, you gotta kill yourself to win an Oswald in this town!"_

_-Daffy Duck, pointing a gun against his own head_


	13. And the Answer Is…

_**Chapter 12: And the Answer Is…**_

The light lessened but still remained strong. Rika squinted her eyes. She was…exactly where she was. She looked around and she just stood in the same desolate wasteland of Magrathea with a very confused Arthur Dent and a sulking Marvin. "Uh…what just happened?"

"They apparently have been disintegrated by a high-energy particle beam, killing them all and ending their short, miserable lives," Marvin droned sadly. "Lucky bastards."

"Shut up, Marvin!" Arthur yelled. "Well, this is a fine pickle! Now what do we do?"

Rika began rapping her fist on the portal. "Whatever Zaphod did. I can't believe I just said that." Arthur began helping her while Marvin just watched.

At last, no sign of the portal activating, they sat down on the snow-cover ground. "I'm sorry, Rika," Arthur sighed. "So, this is how it's all going to end, is it? Us, alone on a dead planet, with a manically depressed robot. Looks like it's just me getting us into a mess again."

"You're too hard on yourself, Arthur," Rika said. "Something's bound to turn up sometime…" Rika then trailed off, looking out into the setting Magrathean sun. It had been only a few minutes when a sound reached Rika's ears. "Arthur, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"It sounded like…purring?" Rika responded cautiously.

"Are you implying I'm purring?" Arthur asked, miffed.

"No…it's just-LOOK OUT!"

Rika had just pushed Arthur out of the way of the teeth belonging to a Velasoulraptor. "Bloody hell, what is that thing?!" Arthur screamed, scampering away backwards and on the ground.

"It's a Soulful!" Rika shouted, her Keyblade appearing in her right hand and bringing it to both hands. "Soulfuls steal peoples' souls, keep back!"

"AH!" Arthur screamed and covered his eyes.

"I knew this would all end in tears," Marvin moaned.

Rika charged forward, as did the raptor. Its teeth met with the edge of her Keyblade and sparks flew. Rika held her ground, but the Soulful was still stronger than her and began dragging it sharp claws across the ground, pushing her backwards. Rika groaned, her fatigue increasing. She had to do something. Then, she dropped to the ground, swinging her left leg across the raptor's legs, tripping it to the ground. She brought out her Keyblade, about to deliver the finishing blow, but then the Velasoulraptor shot a large, white and sparkling blast from its mouth right at Rika. It hit her in the chest, knocking a few feet back, to the ground. Rika coughed. She was in excruciating pain, but as far as she can tell, she hasn't sustained any physical injuries. She couldn't explain it. But she didn't have time to deal with that right now, as the Soulful as already got back on its feet. It let out a cry. Rika could tell it wasn't a cry of anger or attack…rather, a cry to…"It's calling for help," Rika whispered.

Suddenly, seven more Velasoulraptors appear, along with three entirely new Soulfuls. It was once again another dinosaur-like one. It was a pterodactyl, and, like the raptors, it was white with black stripes over its wings. And the Soulful symbol was on its chest. Rika made a wild guess at its name: Pterosoul. Rika started sweating. She can't take on this many Soulfuls by herself. _I can't do it…_Rika started doubting herself again. _Not without help…_

The Soulfuls charged and Rika raised her Keyblade to block the attack, but all the Soulfuls smashed into a wall of pure energy. The Soulfuls observed the force field, as if curiously, but then the Velasoulraptors began blasting it with its energy blasts that it used on Rika and the Pterosouls sent out a sort of screeching shriek attack at it. But, no matter what attacks, it refused to give in.

"Excuse me." Rika and Arthur yelped. They both turned to see an old man with long gray hair and fur robes. Rika was taken aback at once; it was the same man as in the hologram that had warned them not to land on Magrathea, the one that played before the missiles attacked them.

"Who are you?" Arthur asked.

The old man frowned slightly. "It's really not important who I am. But you must come with me."

"Get away from us!" Arthur yelled, waving his towel at the old man. "We've been through a lot today and we don't need anymore trouble from that crazy old man who tried to shoot us out of the sky!"

"But terrible events are afoot," the old man said. Rika could tell immediately that this guy didn't exactly know what he's doing. "Um…you…you must come or you'll be late!" He finished dramatically.

"Late?" Rika raised a confused eyebrow. "Late for what?"

The man rolled his eyes, looking slightly frustrated, but still keeping his calm, droll manner about him. "What are your names?"

"Rika," she answered slowly.

"Dent. Arthur Dent," Arthur said.

"Then, you shall be late as in 'the late Rika and the late Dentarthurdent'," the man explained bluntly. Rika's eyebrows popped straight up, while Arthur smacked his forehead at the misnaming. "I'm sorry, that was meant to be a threat, I think? No? I'm not terribly good at them, but I've heard they can be effective when used correctly. I used it rather incorrectly, but no matter. Anyway, your friends are safe. Come, there is much to do and little time to do it in. You can trust me."

"Trust a man who won't tell us his name?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah, we told you ours," Rika agreed.

The old man sighed and looked into the sky. "My name," he said slowly, "is…Slartibartfast."

Arthur and Rika looked at each other. "Did you say-"

"I _said_ it wasn't important," Slartibartfast sighed. "Please, just come with me. I have something terribly important to show to you."

"I could calculate your chances of survival…" Marvin intoned to Rika and Arthur, "but you won't like it."

Meanwhile, the Soulfuls kept hammering away at the energy field but it held up. "Shall your robot be all right by himself, now?" Slartibartfast asked.

"Oh, don't mind me," Marvin sighed wearily. "I'm used to being ignored. I'll just stay here. Alone." The Soulfuls screeched in their energy bubble. "So very, very alone. Unless you want to talk to me?" He walked up to the Soulfuls. "Shall I regale you with tales of my unending woe and unceasing sorrow? You have no idea how good you have it, being a living engine of mass destruction. Me? Brain the size of a planet and I'm a bloody damn butler to them. That's all! Lousy bastards, I hope they all burn in hell. Is that too bitter? I hope I'm not depressing you." The Soulfuls seemed even more eager to get out.

"He'll be fine," Rika sighed. "How long will that shield hold the Soulfuls?"

"Long enough," Slartibartfast assured them. "Long enough for you to see what you need to see. After that? Who knows? Now…if you will?" He gestured to another one of the ring portals where they stood.

Then, Rika, Arthur and Slartibartfast found themselves in an untidy office crammed with all sorts of maps, globes, compasses and blueprints. At the end of the hallway was an antiquated trolley system, the kind that might be used in factories or in mines. "Come along, come along, get on board." He opened the wire door and Arthur and Rika joined him. Slartibartfast perused the levers and buttons. "Blast it all, it's been five million years since I've had to use this thing, which one was the on switch? Oh, yes, here it is." He flicked the switch and the trolley rumbled to life, clanking down the track to a door marked WORK FLOOR.

"Where are we?" Arthur asked, looking around the dingy old room unimpressed.

"Why, Magrathea of course," Slartibartfast answered. "Or inside it. Actually, not even inside it. We're in a dimensional pocket reached through a wormhole, which you and your friends accessed on the surface of your world. It transported you here, to our factory."

"Your factory, eh?" Arthur chuckled. "And what do you make here in your 'factory'?"

Slartibartfast looked at him as if he were insane. "Why worlds of course. I thought everyone knew that. Fascinating trade. Doing the coastlines was always my favorite. We used to have endless fun doing the little diddly bits around the fjords." Suddenly, the trolley stopped rumbling and sputtered to a stop. Slartibartfast put on a hard helmet and handed two to Rika and Arthur. "I suggest that you, in the common vernacular, hold on to your hats, it's going to be a bumpy ride. I must warn you, we're going to pass through a sort of gateway thing. It may disturb you. It scares the willies out of me, the first time." As soon as Rika and Arthur put the hats on, the trolley launched through the door, nearly sending them crashing backward over the railing.

The dingy entranceway vanished, and they were flying through a vast space. Rika's toes curled up at the sight of the massive operation going on around her. As far as she could see, and it was quite far indeed, there was nothing but huge worlds all in different stages of development. Big worlds, small worlds, flat worlds, round worlds, cube worlds, worlds of such a polygonal shape as to be indefinable; there were worlds made of solid gold, shining like suns, worlds made of diamond, worlds made of wood, made of stone, made of lemon meringue, made of chocolate, made of sardines. On and on they went, miles and miles, or perhaps light-years and light-years across the vast, endless factory. The only thing they had in common was the fact none of them were complete; all of them were in some stage of progression except finished. She could see inside the worlds, see them made up of natural pieces like rock and magma and a fiery core, or some were hollow and layered with decks like a ship, and some looked like they were enormous amusement parks loaded with thousands and thousands of rides. There was just a beauty in it all…"Welcome to the work floor, where we do the actual building," Slartibartfast explained, gesturing around them vaguely, seemingly unimpressed with the scope and grandeur of the operation having become so acclimated to it over the centuries. "We construct all sorts of planets, pleasure planets or work planets. Once we tried branching out into moons, but it never really took off. People would come from all over the universe to buy a Magrathean manufactured world; made a colossal fortune off it. My specialty happens to be fjords. I was particularly good at them, sculpting the coastlines and carving out all the little inlets and whatnot. Received a major award once; somewhere back in my office. For the last five million years however, we've been sustained in a self-imposed hibernation. The system was set up so that once the universal stock markets achieved a level of wealth where people could once more afford our special services, we would awaken, and Magrathea would start anew."

"And has the, er…universal stock market come back to that level then?" Rika asked.

"Oh, no, nowhere near the level we're accustomed to, and probably won't be for a long, long time to come," Slartibartfast answered. "No, we were awoken recently by a very special client who needed our services for a very important commission. Something terrible happened recently, awful loss. I took the news rather badly myself, as I have some fond memories of that particular planet's coastlines. It was for those I won my special award." He grew thoughtful. "Hope this doesn't mean they rescind it."

Rika gawked in disbelief at one world that was in the process of being manufactured as they spoke. "That's Traverse Town!" she said, pointing at it excitedly. Indeed, there was the huge town that formed the nexus of the world. All around it work crews scurried like ants, sparks drifting down from their blowtorches as they assembled the raw materials into valleys and oceans, jungles and meadows.

"Correction, that is Traverse Town 2.0," Slartibartfast said. "It's a very special world, and its rebuilding was authorized by very special clients." He reached into the trolley and pulled out the manifest, handing it to Rika. "Apparently, without it, the universe will end. We should have it up and running within a week or two."

She read it over, a puzzled look on her face. "It was authorized by some guys named 'M.M. and B.B.'?"

"Just 'M.M. and B.B.', yes," Slartibartfast said. "I'm not at liberty to divulge further details. Simply to say we've put a lot of effort into this one, and money was no object."

"M.M. and B.B." Rika frowned. She shook her head, yet another mystery to file away and solve for a later time. "Say, Slartibartfast, would you happen to know anything about the Soulfuls?"

"Well…uh, I wouldn't call myself a major in that subject, but, yes I do know a bit," he responded.

"Back when I was fighting one of those Velasoulraptors, it shot a sort of blast of energy at me," Rika explained. "I didn't get hurt or anything, but…it was just so painful…I…don't know how to describe it…it was as if…my very _soul_ being ripped apart."

"Ah, yes, that was precisely what happened." Rika's eyes widened. "What you experience was one of the Soulfuls' most powerful abilities: the Soul Shredder. They launch powerful blasts of their energy that, when it connects with a victim, their soul is ripped in half, severely damaging it. Mind you, it'll repair itself like a broken bone, but will retain massive injury and if you are hit two more times, your soul will be gone…forever, leaving your body a lifeless husk."

Rika was almost completely frozen. "So…if I'm hit by the Soul Shredder two more times…I'll die?"

"Oh dear, no," he assured her. "You'll be alive, sure, but you'll be unable to think…_to live_. A fate worse than death. This is how the Soulfuls devour their victims' souls. Quite terrifying, isn't it?" Yes, Rika was terrified indeed. She was supposed fight an enemy with such powerful abilities? No Limit was right. Soulfuls are definitely worse than the Heartless. How can she possibly do it? Save the universe AND defeating the Purifiers and their Soulfuls. Rika rested her head on the trolley's railing. She couldn't. "Ah, do not worry, child. You are the Link. The Link who will save the universe. Despite the Soulfuls' large numbers, you have something they lack in…a heart and soul. THAT is what will give you the strength to defeat them. And even at times when you are overwhelmed, you still have your friends to assist you, along with their hearts and souls. Together, you _will_ save the universe, young Keyblade bearer, and you will do it with flying colors." Rika turned her head to Slartibartfast and gave a meek smile of appreciation. And he gave a tired smile back, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Okay…that was all very good, but mind telling me where all our friends are?" Arthur asked.

"My, but you are a most inquisitive and exasperating youth," Slartibartfast sighed wearily. "But then, all youth tend to fall somewhere along those lines. Last we sequestered them in the waiting room where you would be reunited with them soon. However, considering the propensity for troublemaking the one you call Zaphod has, coupled with the ingenuity and complex problem solving skills of the one called Janitor, I believe they may have now escaped and can currently be located in the Sacred Chamber locating…DEEP THOUGHT." He turned around, bent over ominously and stared in Arthur's eyes as he said it in a deep, sinister voice. Arthur just looked at him. "Did that intimidate you?"

"Not really," he said. "Sorry."

Slartibartfast shrugged. "I've always had an awful hard time intimidating people. Probably why I took up the habit of sculpting fjords, coastlines and inlets. So calm, so natural, so peaceful and inspiring. Simply unleash an army of glaciers across a flat plain and let them do all the work, while you sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of the afternoon to yourself." The trolley turned on the track and plummeted deep into the heart of the factory, and there appeared an average sized world with continents and oceans. It was quite pretty. "Look familiar?"

"Is that…?" Arthur gaped.

"Yes," Slartibartfast nodded. "And here's the real work we've been commissioned to do. Earth Mark 2. Completely redesigned and overhauled. The original had been destroyed by the Vogon Constructor Fleet not too long ago, mere moments before its task was about to be completed."

"Task?" Rika and Arthur asked.

"Yes. You see, the original Earth was a giant supercomputer in the guise of a planet. We didn't design the intricacies; we merely built the framework and laid the superficial bits, such as fjords for example. The real workings lay inside, a massive nucleus of 1s and 0s all working in perfect synchronicity for the sole purpose of determining the Question."

"Question?"

"Indeed, you have a habit of taking one of my words and turning it into a question yourself, don't you," Slartibartfast noted. "My advice: look for a new career, this one gets real old, real fast. Yes…_the_ Question. The Ultimate Question. The Question all have been asking since the dawn of time. The Question that reflects what Life, the Universe and Everything is, summed up in a succinct little bit of wordplay."

"Okay, okay," Arthur muttered. "So what's the Question then? Pardon me…_the _Question?"

"I told you, no one knows it yet," Slartibartfast said. "The supercomputer, the original Earth, was destroyed before the program could run its course. All so very frustrating after waiting ten million years, but what can you do? It was designed by Deep Thought and built by us, commissioned by a group of hyper intelligent, pan-dimensional super beings, in order to find a suitably compatible Question for the Answer Deep Thought deciphered."

"Wait a second…you have an Answer, but no Question?"

"Indeed, most astute, young man. A Answer, but no Question. A most perplexing paradox. Hopefully, with our new upgrades, we'll be able to cut some corners and this time the program will only take," he counted on his fingers, "_eight_ million years."

"Actually, this explains a lot…" Arthur whispered thoughtfully. "All my life, I've had this strange feeling there's something big and sinister going on in the world."

"No, that's normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that," Slartibartfast said. "Perhaps I'm old and tired, but the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is say hang the sense of it and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day. And are you?"

"Uh…no." Arthur puffed out his cheeks. "I'm probably gonna regret this, but…what happens to be the Answer? To Life, the Universe, and Everything?"

Slartibartfast looked at him askance. "Trust me on this one; you really don't want to know."

_**M-M-M**_

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about Keyblades._

"_Keyblades,"_ it says, _"are those wholly extraordinary devices which have the power to warp and bend time and space to the will of the possessor. This includes, but not limited to, opening locked doors, locked chests, locked vaults, taking the tops off lids that are too hard to open, countering those frustratingly annoying childproof caps, unsealing hearts, unlocking minds, rending souls from bodies, or do the exact opposite of any of those by locking them back together. It can do this on a massive cosmic level, a small, interpersonal level, or even on a atomic to sub-atomic level, rending electrons from the nucleus or causing a chain reaction that could result in the collapse of an entire star system into a black hole. They may be used to decipher any number of complex mathematical algorithms or unraveling the vast mysteries of the DNA double-helix, resulting in strange, wild new distortions and perversions of nature, even unto the creation of entirely new worlds and realities. All these things add up to the Keyblade being potentially the most dangerous weapon in the history of existence."_

Meanwhile, deep down below in another part of the planet, Ford and Zaphod led the others through a completely empty and dried up forest. Apparently, the Magratheans gave up taking care of this place when they received the Ultimate answer from Deep Thought. Up ahead lay the giant stone computer. "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh!" Zaphod shrieked like a cheerleader, running up the stairs and jumping in triumph. "It's here! IT'S HERE! Deep Thought!"

"Hmm?" the computer droned. "Oh. Visitors. How lovely. Yes, may I help you?"

"Yes, O, mighty big thingamabob!" Zaphod screamed at the top of his lungs. "I have traveled so long, and under such trying conditions, and have finally reached you to ask you…_finally…reached…you_…what is the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything?!" He grinned insanely.

The most powerful supercomputer in the history of space and time was silent for a moment. "Ooooh, boy. Not another one."

"Yeah! Another one! Another one of what?"

"It's just I'm getting sick and tired of people coming along asking me for the damn answer," Deep Thought explained. "You think you're the first to find me and ask me? Of course not! I've been asked this question before."

Zaphod blinked in astonishment. "Really? Then why isn't it more widely known?"

"I don't know, maybe because it's not exactly what anyone was expecting," Deep Thought answered dismissively. "Hardly an impressive answer. A waste of time. I doubt you really want to know it."

"No, no! You can't fool me like that!" Zaphod laughed. "I want the answer!"

"Listen, buddy, I don't think you really want to know the answer," Deep Thought droned.

"Oh, yes, I do! I do, I do, I really, really do!"

Deep Thought was silent. "No, you don't."

"Yes, I do!"

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do!"

"Zaph, I don't think it wants to give us the answer," Ford whispered urgently. "Perhaps we better-"

"I am NOT leaving without that answer, Ford!" Zaphod snarled. "It's worth zillions! ZILLIONS! Now, gimme the answer you overgrown paperweight!"

"With that kind of attitude, you can go to hell," the computer sniffed disdainfully.

"No! No, no. I'm sorry. Look, see? I'm on my knees, begging you! Please, please, tell me the answer! I'll be your best friend!"

Deep Thought sighed despondently. "You really, really want to know what the answer is?"

"Yes!"

"To Life?"

"Yes!"

"The Universe?"

"Yes!"

"And Everything?"

"Yes, yes, yes, a hundred million times, yes!" Zaphod beseeched from on his knees. "For the love of all that's decent, holy and my right nut, YES!"

Deep Thought thought it over. "I don't think you really want to know."

"ARGH! We've been through all this! I want to know so badly, please tell me before I pop a blood vessel!"

Deep Thought sighed again. "All right, all right, you pathetic windbag," it said. "I'll give it to you. But I can assure you, they didn't like it 10,000,000 years ago, and you certainly won't like it now. The answer..."

"YES!"

"To Life..."

"YES!"

"The Universe..."

"YES!"

"And Everything..."

"YES!"

"Is..."

"Oh, my God! Ford, hold me! Hold me tight! This is it! We're about to become freaking, fraking, fooplededoople quadrillionaires! I think I might wet myself from anticipation" He closed his eyes, crossed his fingers and held his breath. "I'm really excited in case you couldn't tell."

Deep Thought answered. "Forty-two."

The silence was deafening. "F-forty-two?" Daffy gasped.

"42," Deep Thought reiterated.

"Wow!" Zaphod yelled happily. He jumped up and down, dancing a silly little jig. "42! That is so frigging awesome! A four and two, squished together to create a 42! It's so easy! It's marvelous! Brilliant! Wonderful!" He sat down on the top step and began to cry. "Who am I kidding? That answer SUCKS DONKEY DOO!"

"Told you you wouldn't like it," Deep Thought remarked sullenly. "So, if that's all, I'll be shutting off now. Have a nic-"

"Don't say it!" Dr. Cox yelled. "Every time we hear that, something bad happens!

"Don't be so down, Zaphod," Janitor consoled him. "It could have been a lot worse. It could have been absolutely nothing. At least 42 is _something_. Something stupid, granted, but that's always better than nothing!"

"I can't go back out there with '42'!" Zaphod moaned. "I'll be a laughingstock! I mean, more so than usual! Ah, shoot. I guess I have nothing left now. Except my impossibly fast, super cool spaceship. And my friends. And Monkey Boy. Say, where is Monkey Boy? I wanna throw stuff at him; see if he goes 'ook-ook'."

"And Rika for that matter!" Stitch gasped. "We better go find them!"

"To the _Heart of Gold_!" Zaphod declared. "Let's get off this miserable rock and find a party to crash!"

"Ahem," Porky interrupted. "W-w-what about B-b-bugs and NL?"

Zaphod groaned. "Okay, okay. AFTER we find your boss-man and your buddies. Jeez, you animals really get on my nerves." He shoved his hands into his pockets and sulked off, when suddenly he passed out on the ground.

"Oh, that reminds me," Ford said, before turning to Deep Thought again. "O Deep Thought, we were told that there is a gun…" Without answering, a little passageway opened underneath Deep Thought…

The large group processed inside, and they found a hull of hoister. All were empty, but one. "Here's the gun." House picked it up.

"Just like Humma said," Yakko said deeply. "Wonder what's it for?"

"To shoot people, duh!" Dot rolled her eyes. "And I call you brother, sheesh!"

"Now you can get your head back!" House said with complete false optimism, handing the gun to Zaphod. "Great! Now let's find Rika and Arthur and get off this hunk of dirt."

"Hey, Ford." Zaphod jadedly turned his head to his half brother. "It's been nice knowing you, you Zarquon frood." Zaphod pointed the gun at himself.

"Oh snap!" JD tried to stop him, but got hit instead.

"JD!" everyone gasped, including Janitor.

"Aw…this was a bust too," Zaphod groaned.

JD looked at himself and he was fine, before saying, "Hey, man, you know? You must really be frustrated. I mean, you come all this way, you don't get an Answer, which means no money or fame, which you deserve…"

Everyone stared with interest, as Ford looked at his Guide. "Gimme that thing!" Daffy swiped the gun from Zaphod.

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the Point-of-View Gun:_

"_The Point-of-View Gun," it says, "conveniently, does precisely what its name suggests. That is, if you point it at someone and pull the trigger, they instantly see things from your point of view. It was designed by Deep Thought, but commissioned by a consortium of intergalactic angry housewives who, after endless arguments with their husbands, were sick to the bone of ending those arguments with the phrase, 'You just don't get it, do you?''_

Daffy then blasted Porky with the Point-of-View Gun. "D-d-d, don't you j-j-just hate that a-a-a, pestering Bunny?!" Porky proclaimed. "He gets a-a-all the glory while we, the other L-l-looney Tunes d-d-do all the work!"

"I love this gun…" Daffy cradled it like a baby, before Trillian snatching it away from him and handed it to Ford.

"Do me a BIG favor and shoot Zaphod, please," Trillian said. Ford wearily did so.

"You're right, Ford," Zaphod said with complete smoothness. "I shouldn't be so upset, because life goes on, you know and I should go on with it…"

"Shoot him again!" Trillian smiled. Ford did so.

"Hitchhiking's good…towels are good too…"

"THAT is brilliant." Trillian took the gun back. "I can see why Humma Kavula would want one of these. We better get back, Arthur and Rika's waiting."

_**M-M-M**_

The trolley pulled up to a docking bay and there waited the others. "Daffy, Porky," Rika laughed. The trolley stopped and Rika and Arthur jumped out.

"RIKA!" Stitch yelled, jumping into her arms. They hugged each other and he licked his friend wildly.

"There you are!" Porky laughed. "We were so w-w-worried; we d-d-didn't know where you were!"

"What's all this 'we' stuff?" Zaphod asked. Trillian elbowed his ribs. "OW! What was that for?"

"What happened?" Bender asked. "You guys learn anything better than we did? Answer is 42, by the way."

"I always knew there was something fundamentally wrong with the universe," Arthur sighed at the pitiful Answer.

"Yeah, these guys, the Magratheans, they build planets! They're rebuilding Traverse Town as we speak! Isn't that awesome?"

"Build planets?!" Daffy shouted, before turning to Slartibartfast. "Hey, bub, make a planet in the shape of my head!"

"Oh, that'll cost about…" He did the calculations in his head. "10,000,000,000,000 dollars." Daffy's bill dropped to the ground. "Will that be cash or check?"

Suddenly, the lot of them felt a sort of…_stomping_ heading there way. "Oh…that doesn't sound good…" Wakko whispered. Everyone turned from where they were standing and saw an entire legion of Vogon soldiers blocking their way out. And through all that mess, Marvin the Paranoid Android waddled to the heroes.

"Thanks a lot for leaving me behind," Marvin said sarcastically. "Though I can't say I blame you."

"Mr. President, we're here for your protection," Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz declared.

"Oh, thanks, my ugly, fat and puss-oozing man," Zaphod gave a thumbs up.

"FIRE!"

"I can't believe a man I trusted with my deepest, darkest fears could ever betray me like this!" Zaphod declared, ducking for cover under Bender when the Vogons fired their blasters. "I'm positively miffed! Stunned! Not quite outraged, but I'm getting there! Trill, baby, zap 'em with the POV gun!"

"I'm trying but it's not working," she hissed, clicking the trigger rapidly, but nothing happened. "Something must have broke." The Vogons moved in around them threateningly. She rolled her eyes in despair. "Oh, poop!"

"Now where's my mop?" Janitor asked himself. "Let's kick some ugly Vogon butt! Yee-HA!" He charged into the fray with a wild war whoop.

"I don't see what all this fuss is about," Marvin droned. "Vogons are the worst marksmen in the galaxy."

_**BLAST!!!**_

Marvin groaned. He has been shot in the back in the head, leaving a big hole in his circuitry. The heroes gasped as the manically depressed android turned to the Vogons. "Now I've got a headache, BZ, headach-, BZZ…head…" Smoke fumed from his mechanical head and sparks flew. Marvin dropped to the ground as the lights that lit up his eyes faded to black…

"Marvin…" Rika whispered. "Oh no…" Rika angrily pulled out her Keyblade, a certain blaze in her eyes. "He may haven't been the best friend, but he was a friend…" She instantly launching herself into a series of spinning assaults, raining powerfully devastating blows down upon her enemies. Daffy pulled out his staff.

"Ya know? I really wished I had a more original weapon than this…" Daffy said, before slinging multiple spells through the legions of Vogon soldiers and, far more terrifying, indestructible bureaucrats.

"I know how you feel," Porky sighed, holding up his shield to defend himself from the lasers shot at him.

"Don't give up!" Rika cried, jumping on Jeltz's hover-chair and smashing at the rocket launchers and laser turrets. Jeltz grabbed her with his chubby fist; a red rubber stamp in his other hand crackling with dark matter energy, and Rika struggled to free herself. She blocked the rubber stamp with her Keyblade and then shouted. "FIRE!" Jeltz exploded into a pile of green, twitching blubber balls, coating Rika in thick, greasy slime. "Yuck!"

But this was a small victory, for more Vogons simply flooded the massive offices, surrounding the friends. "This is another fine mess you've gotten me into, JD!" Janitor sighed dismally as he swatted bullets away with his mop.

"P-Please don't kill me, Mr. Vogon," JD whimpered helplessly, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place.

"Resistance IS futile!" a familiar young Vogon roared.

"Oh, man, not that guy," Arthur groaned. He looked around hastily. "Hey! Where's Ford?" The cunning intergalactic hitchhiker and his best friend was nowhere to be seen! Had the Vogons…gotten to him first? Arthur winced, not wanting to find out.

Suddenly, there came a small voice, clearing its throat. As one, the Vogons turned around and leveled their weapons at this strange, diminutive, new threat. A functioning Marvin, the Paranoid Android. "Ahem, I don't mean to intrude, but please stop this racket, it is getting on my nerves." He held up a long, shiny, silver gun.

The Point of View Gun.

And fired.

Blue energy crackled around the Vogons, infecting them all. For a moment, nothing happened, everyone gazing in helplessness, waiting for whatever happened next. Suddenly, a Vogon groaned. "Oh, Lord, I'm so depressed," he grunted. "What's the use in living?"

"Oh, the agony of life itself! I just want to die!" another Vogon moaned and fell over.

"OH GOD, I'M SOOOO DEPRESSED!" all the Vogons declared, falling over in near catatonic states of depression. Marvin twirled the gun and pretended to blow across the muzzle.

Yakko nudged Wakko gently. "Uh…were we just saved by Marvin the Paranoid Android?" he gurgled. Wakko nodded sheepishly.

"Marvin…" Rika smiled to the small robot. "You've just saved our lives."

"I know…. Wretched, isn't it?" Marvin sighed.

At that moment, Ford Prefect came wandering in, whistling cheerfully. "Ford!" Arthur yelled, running to meet his friend. "You're all right! I feared the Vogons stuck some poetry on you!"

"Whoa! Don't give me a heart attack like that!" Ford gasped, clutching his chest. "Hell, no! I've been hard at work!" He held up his copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy proudly. "ALL the coordinates," Ford informed them. "To every planet in every galaxy across any and every dimension, from Atlantica to the World That Never Was!"

"Good work, Ford!" Rika said. "That information will be invaluable to us! Now we don't have to go around randomly when we hit the Improbability Drive Button!"

"Not to mention every hitchhiker who never had a clue as to where they were going," Ford laughed. "Oh, yeah, while I was in there, I did a little reshuffling of the Vogons' demolition schedule." He smiled mischievously. "Let's just say if they don't soon untangle themselves for this massive web of bureaucracy and red tape they've gotten themselves caught in, then Planet Vogsphere is gonna end up going bye-bye!"

"Awesome!" Stitch and Bender yelled, giving each other high-fives. "Then maybe the Vogons will think twice before demolishing someone else's homeworld, huh?"

Slartibartfast sighed, "Now I have to call in the cleaning team to fix this mess." He gestured to all the moaning and depressed Vogons. "Oh, and Rika?" Rika walked over to him curiously. "I was given a package that was I was meant to give you." Slartibartfast walked over the trolley and held up a large cardboard box and a letter. He handed it to Rika and she decided to look at the letter first.

_A little something for your troubles…_

_B.B._

She looked at them curiously. "It's signed 'B.B.' and there's a picture of a bunny beside it."

Porky chuckled. "T-t-that's ol' Bugs, alright!"

Rika quiet whispered, "Then, Bugs Bunny was one of the clients for the rebuilding of Traverse Town." Moving that thought to the back of her mind for later, Rika opened the parcel. "Wow!" Inside, were new clothes for her. She looked at the tag on the back of her new shirt. "_Designed and Manufactured Expressly for Rika, Edna Mode, Inc._ _Paris, London, Milan. _What in the name of Kingdom Hearts is an 'Edna Mode'?" Daffy and Porky shrugged uncertainly.

"HEY!" Zaphod yelled. "People! You coming or not? Your friends ain't gonna find themselves, and I want to get to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe before I miss the floorshow again!"

"Hang on, we're coming!" Rika called back.

After a minute or two, Rika was now wearing her new travel clothes. She wore a pair of dark blue jeans, brown shoes, a white t-shirt with blue short sleeves and hood, a pair of black fingerless-gloves, and a black belt pack, which she wears backwards. And for the heck of it, she tied her hair into a pony tail. "Well…what do you think guys?"

Bender, Stitch, JD, Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Daffy and Porky gave thumbs up. "Perfect!"

Rika smiled. "And there's a new suit for Daffy and Porky too."

"Really?" Daffy shouted. "Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Let's have it, girl!"

_Seconds later…_

"**WHAT THE HELL?!?!**"

Daffy wore a blue shirt, and a blue hat, which resembled a sailor hat. And Porky saw that he was wearing a green shirt, black vest, yellowish orange pants, and oversized shoes. He also was wearing an odd hat, which was the same color as the pants. The others burst out laughing to see that they were dressed exactly like Donald and Goofy. Daffy angrily tore off the sailor suit and Porky just got out of his. "Also," Rika choked down her giggle. "Apparently my clothes come with an instruction manual."

"Say what?" Bender asked.

Rika held up a new piece of paper and her eyes shift back and forth, reading it. "Hey! It's a Drive Form!"

"So, you can enter NASCAR now?" Yakko asked.

"No, it means I can go into a Drive Form with the help from Daffy and Porky," Rika explained. "It gives me more power and abilities that I normally can't do."

"S-s-sounds like a great idea," Porky said.

"Oh, and there's new weapons for you guys too…"

"Anything's better this junk," Daffy declared, throwing his staff and Porky's shield away. Daffy dung into the cardboard parcel and picked up a pair of nun-chucks that had glowing green handles. "Hey! These are like the nun-chucks that I used in my show!"

"G-g-great." Porky rolled his eyes. "Now you can c-c-cause even more random destruction with it."

"That's what I'm counting on." Daffy puffed out his chest proudly.

Porky then reached into the box and pulled out a large shield. Like his old one, it bore Bugs' silhouette with it, but it was far darker and had spikes jutting out from its edges and one in the middle. "L-l-looks pretty good," Porky declared.

"Alright, guys," Rika said. "We're all ready to begin our greatest journey."

"You mean after all these _Hitchhikers_ chapters, the adventure STILL hasn't started yet?!" Daffy shouted. "What a rip!"

Rika giggled. Suddenly, her Keyblade appeared. "What the…I didn't call for it." Then, the Keyblade started glowing. "Whoa!" In a blast of bright light, Rika lowered her hand that covered her eyes and saw her Keyblade has changed. It still resembled her fathers, but it was now black and white. The blade was white and the hilt was black and its Keychain was no longer Mickey's head. It was now Bugs'. "Now…THAT was weird…"

Suddenly, Ford's Guide began to spin and glow wildly and he took a step back. Rika gasped, it was obvious what was happening and she held out her new and improved Keyblade. Instantly the Guide shot a light into the air and the world's Keyhole appeared. Focusing her energies, Rika was about to locked it up tight, sealing Magrathea against any possible incursion, but then she looked through the hole and saw Traverse Town through it. She thought this is what NL meant when you Link a world. She first fired the energy through the Keyhole, link the worlds together and suddenly, the Keyhole locked by itself and vanished.

_Hehehehehe…_

Rika looked around, but no one made a sound. She wondered where that giggle came from.

Zaphod gapped at the sight, jaw hanging wide open. "Holy Zarquand!" he hollered. "That's way better than any blasted Gargle Blaster! Where can I get some of that?" Rika just smiled.

_**End of the Very Long Chapter 12**_

"_I'd much rather be happy than right any day."_

_-Slartibartfast_

_For Douglas._

_Your spirit will live on in every hitchhiker's heart forever…_

**Douglas Adams, March 11, 1952 – May 11, 2001**


	14. A “Daring” Escape

_**Chapter 13: **__**A "Daring" Escape**_

"_Oh, nobody knows the trouble I've seen…glory hallelujah. Sometimes I'm up; sometimes I'm down…glory hallelujah…but still my soul is heavenward bound, glory hallelujah…nobody knows the trouble I've seen…nobody knows the trouble I've seen…nobody knows the trouble I've seen…glory hallelujah…_"

"Will you shut up, Time Zone?!" Mystery screamed.

Team Limit was down in the basement of the old mansion of Twilight Town, in the white pod room that Sora was once at long ago and behind tall iron bars in a cell. Their capture has only been an hour and Time Zone was already started acting delusional and singing. "Just trying to lighten the mood," Time explained.

"Yeah, well, after the first twenty minutes, it starts to grow on peoples' nerves…" Mystery hissed.

Wolf sighed. "Any ideas yet, NL?"

No Limit was sitting by the corner of the cage, facing the wall and but then turning to Wolf. "I'll let you know when I do." NL turned back to face the wall and started banging his forehead against the wall repeatedly. He turned his head back to his team. "And…" He faced the wall again and hit his forehead one more time. "I got it!" He laid flat on his stomach and waved for his team to gather around. "Here's what we do: we'll use the wooden bench as a crowbar, jimmy open the lock and we run for freedom! What do you say?!" Wolf, Mystery and Time Zone stared at him blankly, towards each other to share their exasperated looks and went back to their business. "Yeah…you're right, dumb idea. I know! We take Wolf's silk coat, take a quick wizz on it, pull a _Shanghai Noon_, tie it around the bars and bend it to make a hole large enough for us to escape!"

"_MythBusters _already declared that myth busted," Wolf deadpanned.

No Limit's left eye twitched. "I GIVE UP!"

"Remind me why we're rescuing these guys again?"

The four superheroes raised their heads. "Who's there?" Wolf called out.

"Your rescuers."

Suddenly, five people dropped from the ceiling. One was a 10-year-old boy, who had short brown hair and green eyes. He wore a white T-shirt with black lines on it, a pair of green jeans and on his left wrist was a strange, glowing green watch. Another was a teenaged Asian girl. She had a few freckles, brown eyes, long raven hair with a pink strand and she wore a green t-shirt (in which, the rims of the sleeves and collar are red and what seemed to be a red dragonfly symbol on the front of the shirt), along with a brown wristband (which had purple gems on it) on her wrist, along with a brown belt with a yellow belt buckle, blue trousers and brown shoes. The third was a 13-year-old Hispanic boy with green eyes (a scar down his left eye), wearing a superhero-like suit that resembled a tiger, with a mask with white sideburns, boots and gloves with powerful steel claws, a belt with a letter T on it. The last two were anthropomorphic twin rabbits wearing white kung-fu shirts. One was pink and female with green eyes and a purple bow that tied her ears together. The other one was blue and male with purple eyes.

"Hey, I know you!" NL gasped, pointing to the Hispanic boy. "That's El Tigre, one of the Rivera superheroes of Miracle City!"

"Eh, I consider myself an anti-hero," El Tigre shrugged.

"That's Juniper Lee!" Mystery said, gesturing to the Asian girl. "She's the Te Xuan Ze, the protector of the Magical Realms."

"Wow, I'm even famous from other worlds," June smirked. "Please, call me June."

Wolf eyed the two rabbits. "I'm guessing you two are Yin and Yang, the last of the Woo Foo Knights?"

"Awesome!" the male rabbit, Yang whooped. "Someone knows me from famous reputation!"

"And that's when I know the world has ended…" his sister, Yin sighed.

"And you're…" Time Zone pointed to the last boy, but couldn't think up anything, until he spotted the boy's watch. "Hey, that's the Omnitrix! One of the most technologically-advanced shift-shaping alien tools ever created! I heard of it from the Intergalactic Science-Nerd magazine."

"Great…they know you guys and I'm only known as the kid with the Omnitrix…" the boy pouted, sticking his tongue out and blowing a raspberry. "My name's Ben."

"I'm guessing you guys are here to bust us outta here?" Wolf asked.

"You got it!" Yang declared, punching his paws together. "**PAWS OF PAIN!**" Suddenly, blue magic energy surged around his fists and they grew to a large size. "Time to hit stuff!" He ran toward the cage and started to punch the cage bars repeatedly.

"100 munny says he actually breaks the bars open," Ben whispered to Yin.

"You're on."

Yang's strength was definitely impressive, but he didn't even leave a single skin-print on the bars. Finally, all tuckered out, Yang heaved his breath in and out, tongue stuck out and his fists shrunk back to normal. "Aw man…" Ben passed on the munny.

"Did we mention that the bars made of a nigh-unbreakable diamond and are also reinforced by magic?" Mystery asked monotonously.

"Thanks for enlightening us…" Yang snapped, his knuckles all bruised and puffy.

"The way I see it is that the only way out is with the key," Wolf said. "And, lucky for us, the Organization members have it…"

"Looks like a job for me…" Ben smirked, activating the Omnitrix, making its face pop up.

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Meanwhile, in the computer room of the mansion, the very Organization crowded around their leader as he typed away on it. And unknown to all of them, a _certain_ tiny little alien named Grey Matter (better known as Ben to you and me) was peeking through a crack in a door. The alien had large bug eyes, gray-skin and was about 5-inches tall. On his back was his watch's face. "So…this computer has data that reveals the location of every world in all known universes?" the man with the half-orange and half-black mask asked. Grey Matter immediately paused as he opened the door. The Organization had a map to all the worlds?

"Correct, Slade," the man with the black helmet and armor answered. "I heard of it back when I once served for Emperor Palpatine. He wished to use it to discover all hidden worlds so as he could locate the secret base of the Rebel Alliance…yet his search was in vain. He had searched for years for the map, but he never seemed to come close." Ben/Grey Matter took in the info stride as he quietly crept pass them, and towards a key hook.

"This is soooo boring!" Joker declared, throwing his feet into the air as he tried to get comfortable in his seat. "How much longer, ooooooh wise leader?" he finished with much annoyance and detest in his tone.

"Soon enough, Joker, soon enough," their leader assured the clown thief as he finished up his typing as Grey Matter made his way to the key hook to find it empty.

"Where could it be…?" Grey Matter whispered in a high-voice. Suddenly, Joker spun around in his chair, making Grey Matter yelp as he hid under a table. Luckily, Joker didn't spot him. Grey Matter sighed with relief, and then resumed his search for the cell key. "Now…if I was a supervillain, where would I hide a key that opens a cell that kept in a fanfiction author and his original characters…?" Ben/Grey Matter realized that no _good_ villain would keep that key. They would destroy it and prevent their prisoners from escaping. "Just great…" Just then, he spotted a single iron key hung from an iron ring by Joker's belt. "Well now…I guess these aren't very good villains then…either that or NL just wants the plot to move along."

But retrieving the key was definitely going to be a daunting task. How was he going to grab the key without any of the Organization members noticing? _It's a good thing I'm Grey Matter_, Ben thought to himself. _Grey Matter's smart at this kind of stuff._ He used his alien body's special ability carefully. He looked at the key hook on the wall, then spotted some thin string under the table he currently was under and then up at an overhead pipe on the ceiling. "It's too convenient. It's too simple…I'll do it!"

Using his slimy skin, Grey Matter climbed like a certain spider-man up a wall and reached the hook. He pulled with all his might and managed to pull the hook off, but he lost his balance and fell to the ground! But, thankfully, thanks to his diminutive size, he was able to land silently. He let out his sigh of relief and continued his work. He swiftly tied the string around the bottom of the hook. With a quick glimpse to see if any of villains are looking his way, Grey Matter swung his surrogate grappling hook to the over head pipe and rapidly scrambled up the string.

Meanwhile, Juniper, Yin, Yang and El Tigre looked through the door, anxious for Ben's safe return, retrieval of the cell key, and not alerting the Organization members of them being there. "We're boned, aren't we?" Yang said dully.

"Oh yeah," the others nodded.

Once Grey Matter reached a pipe and climbed on top of it, he pulled the string up and swung it over his shoulder. He then silently shimmied across one of the pipes hanging over the villains. He stopped right over Joker and he could spot the key hanging carelessly by his side. Grey Matter lowered his hook down to it. His sweat pouring down his forehead. The hook swayed back and forth, and Ben made his first attempt to hook a keeper.

He missed.

And then the hook swung near Joker's hands, about to alert him of the little spy. Grey Matter yelped, pulling the string away and silently sighed with relief as the hook just barely dodged. He attempted it again and…yes! He's got the key hooked! Now, all he has to do is…

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

"Oh crud…" Ben/Grey Matter sighed as his watch's face started flashing red and beeping.

_Flash!_

"What in Kingdom Hearts?!" Organization #1 thundered as the human Ben came crashing down from the ceiling, making a loud crash.

"Well, well, well…what do we have here?" Slade said, all the Organization members surrounding the poor 10-year-old. Ben smiled awkwardly, holding up the key as repayment.

"HEY, JERKFACES!"

June, Tigre, Yin and Yang came bursting into the computer room, Yang with a green bamboo sword, Yin with blue-glowing magical fists, El Tigre with his sharp claws, and June with his fists. "Leave the idiotic kid alone!" June shouted. She sprang into action, her right fist heading right at Slade's hidden face, but he easily dodged to the right, grabbed a hold of June and threw her up and, surprisingly, sent her straight through the ceiling and into the main hall of the Twilight Town mansion.

"June!"

"Ben, get the keys to Team Limit!" Yin shouted, firing multiple blasts of magical blue blasts at the other Organization members. Vader, with some sort of force, summoned a long, metal mechanical rod from his belt and activated it; a bright red light in the form of a sort of saber emerged from it and he used it to repel the magical blasts back at Yin, Yang and El Tigre, whom quickly hopped out of the way and up into the main floor.

Slade and Vader leapt into the air, after them. "About time we got something fun to do!" Joker cackled, about to follow suit, but the leader placed his hand on Joker's shoulder.

"No, you go after the boy with the key; we must not allow No Limit and his team escape!" He gestured to the now-empty spot that Ben was once at.

Joker's mouth dropped unhappily. "Spoilsport!" But he did as he told, running deeper into the mansion.

_**TT-TT-TT**_

"Oh man, oh man, oh MAN!"Ben yelped, barely jumping out of the way of some shuriken-like Joker cards flung at him.

"Don't you want to play with me?" Joke asked mockingly. "We'll have lots of FUN! What's the matter? Are you afraid clowns?"

"As a matter of fact…I AM!" Ben screamed, finally reaching the white pod room. "Yes! I made it-_AGH!_"

"BEN!" all of Team Limit gasped. Ben dropped to the ground, clutched his right shoulder, removing his hand he could see blood. He turned around to see Joker, smiling sadistically, with crossed arms and a single card between his index and middle finger in each hand.

"Don't try and pull any funny with me, boy," Joker chuckled. "_I'm the only one doing the funny stuff around here…_"

Suddenly, Ben's Omnitrix's face turned green and popped up. "About time!" He slammed his left wrist with the watch on it to the ground.

_Flash!_

Joker, No Limit, Mystery, Wolf and Time shielded their eyes with their arms from the bright green light and Ben was gone. But instead of being replaced with Grey Matter, it was a far larger being. It resembled a large Velociraptor (not VelaSOULraptor!), with a large black and blue striped tail, a black suit with a white torso. It had wheels strapped to its feet and a large helmet around it head. "Yes! XLR8!" XLR8/Ben whooped. With great speed, he unlocked the cage with Team Limit, picked them all up in his arms and left Joker the only one left in the white pod room, all under 2 seconds!

"Uh…what just happened here?" Joker asked with a raised eyebrow.

_**TT-TT-TT**_

Meanwhile, back in the main level, June, El Tigre, Yin and Yang battled fiercely with Slade and Vader, but they weren't doing to well. "Damn, we're getting our asses kicked here!" Yang screamed, barely keeping up his dodges and parries with his bamboo sword with Slade's kicks and chops, before finally getting kicked in the gut and sent flying in the air.

"Keep your head in the game," Slade told him.

Tigre reached back with his right hand and sent his claws flying from a chain right at Vader, but he easily knocked it aside with his lightsaber. But then June came in, sending a kick at Vader's helmet, but he ducked and held up his hand. She felt a strange feeling go through her and is sent crashing into a table. "Dang Force…" June groaned, barely being able to stand up.

Just then, XLR8 came speeding in. "Guys, they're free! Let's get outta here!"

"Not yet!" NL shouted. "We can't leave without the map!"

"What map?!" Yin shouted, but quickly jumped out of the way of a flying kick from Joker.

"Ooh…what a cute little bunny," Joker cooed.

"NL, we will, but we gotta get to safety first!" Mystery said to her cousin as she magically summoned a wooden bow into her hand.

"Mystery, you know what will happen if we don't!" NL jerked his gaze to her, his eyes not like his usual kind and warm eyes, but stern.

Mystery's eyes widened. Her cousin is only says her hero name if the situation was too serious. "NL, we have to think about the others!" Wolf snarled, grabbing a hold of NL's suit and pulled him to Wolf's face, his eyes glaring right back at NL. "I agree we have to keep the map out of the wrong hands, and these are probably the worst, but I will _not_ allow a single comrade fall in the line of duty……_not again_."

NL groaned. "You just HAD to play the past-reference-to-convince-someone thing, didn't you?" Wolf's eyes didn't even blink. "FINE! Let's get outta THE WAY!" NL pushed Wolf aside as a bright blade came between them. While they were chatting it up, the battle continued and the Organization leader has came to join in, with two bright red light-bladers flaming from his fists. "Mystery, you help Yin face Joker! Time Zone, help Yang against Slade! Ben, help June and Tigre!" NL's Keyblade was summoned to his hands and he assumed his battle position. "Wolf, old friend, think you and I can take down Xemnas?"

"Xemnas…" Wolf whispered, drawing his katana from its sheath and assuming his position. "Didn't know it was even him…can't believe he's gotten so weak."

The leader chuckled darkly, lifting his hood down to reveal his face of Xehanort's Nobody. "How rude, Wolf, disrespecting your opponent? Didn't _anyone_ teach you respect back on that world of your friend's?"

"Don't you even _dare_ speak about Kassy's home world," Wolf growled, tightening his hold on his blade's handle.

"Oh…did I touch a soft-spot?" Xemnas asked mockingly.

"Shut up!" Wolf charged forward, along with NL.

Both Time Zone and Yang tried to make contact with Slade, but he was just far too swift and agile to land one. "Why…won't…you…hold…STILL?!" Yang shouted, swinging his bamboo sword back and forth.

"That's a dumb question," Slade sneered, but unknown to him, Time actually slowed down time around him and Time was able to sneak behind Slade and rose up a large white mallet, with a blue handle and a clock on its side and slammed it at Slade's back, sending him hurtling through a wall.

"Nice hit, Time Zone; you're the man!" Yang shouted, high-fiving Time Zone.

"No, my man…YOU'RE the man!" Time Zone laughed arrogantly, but it was cut short. They turned to the rubble from the wall. A few pebble tumbled and Slade rose up from it, cracking his neck and dusting his shoulders off.

"Aw man…" Time and Yang moaned.

Mystery pulled on the string of her bow and, magically, an arrow appeared in it. Its head red and fierily as she released it, launching it at Joker, but he dodged it with a flip. Her eyes narrowed as she rapidly sent arrow after arrow at the clown, each a different offensive spell attribute along with Yin's magical blast, but he just either dodged them or sent his Joker cards to collide with them and make them explode. "Any ideas, girl?" Yin asked.

"Not at the moment, no," Mystery said, teeth clench as she and the Woo Foo Knight, by a hair's breadth, avoided the sharp Joker cards sent at them. That's when inspiration struck. "I GOT IT! What's the matter, Joker? Can't even take down two little girls?" she shouted.

"What did you say?" Joker hissed, a scowl growing on his face.

"Oh, nothing, just that a 12-year-old little girl and a pink bunny and take down the _Clown Prince of Crime_," she giggled mockingly.

"Why you…" Joker growled, reaching in to his pocket for more cards.

"Yin, transform the cards into bombs!" Mystery ordered.

"You got it! **Trans-Foo-Mate!**" Yin said the incantation which changes Joker's cards into hand grenades.

"Why, thank you, little rabbit," Joker smirked, about to chuck two grenades at them. But Mystery pluck her bow's string and two Fire arrows appeared and shot them right at Joker's hand, set off the bombs. Yin and Mystery got blown backwards into the flight of stairs from the shockwave, but we're fine.

"Think we got him?" Yin asked.

As the dust cloud cleared, Joker still stood, but boy, was he _mad_…Mystery frowned. "Nope. We didn't get him…"

"Jeez, can't ya take a joke?!" El Tigre rolled his eyes, dodging the slashes through the air from Darth Vader's lightsaber. Vader having a large blue mustache drawn on his black helmet.

"Trust me on this one, El Tigre, he ain't fooling around!" June shouted, jumping aside and sideswiping Vader by the legs, making his fall forward, allowing El Tigre time to give him a good swipe at Vader's torso…where his life-support was. Vader started breathing far more heavily.

"Seems unfair to attack an injured and frail man," Tigre said to June. "Just doesn't seem right."

"Seems right to me!" XLR8 exclaimed from behind Vader, swinging his large and powerful tail at Vader, sending him sliding to the ground. Both June and El Tigre glowered at Ben. "What? He was swinging a lightsaber that can cut off our hands for crying out loud!"

"Yeah right, like NL would pull a Skywalk-ack!" June gagged, her sentence cut short. Her voice was cut off as she felt some kind of strange force grip her throat. It was as if invisible hands were strangling her and she was powerless to stop them. She gasped for air as she struggled to breathe.

"June, what's wrong?!" El Tigre gasped. She couldn't answer. Her air supply was cut off, stopping all speech. Both he and XLR8 looked to Vader, whose arm was extended towards June, with his hand outstretched.

"Let her go, Vader!" Ben shouted, running at his top speed at him, but suddenly, Vader hopped to his feet, releasing June, but his lightsaber reactivated. "WHOA!" Ben/XLR8 just managed to avoid the worse, but Vader managed the slice off the tip XLR8's tail. "**AGGGH!!!**"

"Ben!" Tigre, tending to June, charged at Vader, his claws extended.

Xemnas' blades collided with both Keyblade and katana. Wolf and No Limit just crashing their blades against their enemy's. The three were match by match. "Jump!" NL shouted. Wolf did so without a second thought, complete trust in his leader and teammate. NL's Keyblade's key head pointed up from the blade. His Keyblader begun to spin into a drill, NL pointing his weapon at the Nobody leader and shot a large and powerful blast of water at him. Xemnas couldn't escape, because of the sheer pressure of the stream; it was like trying to climb a waterfall. He was knock backwards and smashed into the wall.

"Ugh…" Xemnas moaned, about to continue the fight, but his chin met with Wolf's katana's point as he and NL stood over him.

"Give it up, Xemnas," NL smirked. "We're the good guys and everyone knows that the good guys _always_ win!"

Xemnas began to smirk, which grew to a chuckle, which became a full-blown laugh-fest. But, finally, he calmed down. "Heh, heh, heh…do you honestly believe that the universe is so black and white? What the shades in between? What about gray? What about what's between light and darkness? Like…_Shadow_…"

"You rang?"

No Limit and Wolf's statures twitched. They both turned to see a small 3 foot humanoid hedgehog. It had black quills with shades of red in it, a tuft of white fur on his torso, and fire-red eyes. And he wore a pair of white glove and a pair of white shoes that had wheels on the bottom. "Shadow?" NL gasped. "Holy moly! Great to see ya, man! I'm guessing you came here with Ben and the others to help us?"

Something was wrong. Wolf knew it. He could see it in Shadow's eyes. There were like black, empty pits. Something was _very_ wrong. Shadow shook his head. "No…I didn't."

"Well…at least you're here now and we could use your help!" NL smiled, totally ignorant to the tension in the air.

"I'm sorry, No Limit," Shadow said, almost sincerely. He raised his right fist. It began to glow with dark energy.

NL's smile dropped to a frown. "Shadow…?" No answer. Shadow moved so fast, that even Wolf's heighten warrior senses couldn't detect the sheer speed. He came between Wolf and No Limit; his hand connected with their chest and sent blasts of dark, chaotic energy at them, knocking them both into the air and into walls, both their clothes burnt from the blasts. "Shadow…" NL whispered, before coughing up a bit of blood.

The rest of the heroes and villains ceased their fighting and their gazes shifted to the small, but powerful, hedgehog. "What just happened?" Yang asked.

"But Shadow's on our side!" Time Zone said, shaking his head back and forth.

Mystery's eyes grew tears for her now-former friend. "Shadow, don't this!" she cried. Wolf just stared blankly.

"I don't know about you guys, but I say we get outta here!" XLR8/Ben shouted, with great speed, he snatched up Yin, Yang, June, El Tigre, Time Zone, No Limit, Wolf and Mystery, ran out of the fight, retreating and out of the mansion. But, in No Limit's head, it was as if time has slowed down, his eyes never leaving the sight of Shadow, who also stared back. Shadow was once a great ally…and a dear friend. Shadow watched them go and turned away from NL's gaze.

One of their friends…has turned.

_**End of Chapter 13**_

NL: Sorry for the long update, but I've started school and wanted this chapter to be at its highest possible quality, because of the dramatic ending it had…at least I hope it was dramatic. Anyway, hoped you enjoyed this chapter greatly!


	15. Radiant Residents

The computer screen zoomed in on a title as it moved forwards through cumulus clouds.

_**Chapter 14: Radiant Residents**_

The computer screen continues to zoom in on the city of Radiant Garden. Then through a window of a school called "Radiant Garden Elementary", where we see a 10-year-old boy. He had yellow skin, spiky hair and wore an orange T-shirt, blue shorts and sneakers. He was writing lines on the class chalkboard, presumably set as a punishment by one of his teachers for some mischievous deed or wayward comment. The lines were "_I will not flame _Kingdom Hearts_ fanfics because they feature cheesy intro sequences._" Then the school bell rings and the boy, happily chuckling, leaves in a hurry. He then went flying off on his skateboard out of the school and headed home.

The screen then shows a yellow-skinned, bald man in a nuclear power plant. He had a rather large belly and he was currently wearing a Hazmat suit and handling a very dangerous stick of plutonium. Suddenly the quitting whistle blew. He happily tore of his helmet and walked off, accidentally causing the small plutonium bar getting stuck on his back. In the background, an extremely elderly old man and his _straight_-man were looking at a layout plan. The old man, not believing the early whistle, puts his watch up to his ear and shakes it, as if he believes it has stopped.

The screen has a yellow-skinned woman and her baby checking out at a supermarket. The woman had tall blue hair and she wore a green dress, red pearl necklace and shoes. The baby just simply wore a long blue dress, that extended past her feet, a red bow on her head, and she sucked on a red pacifier. The woman was looking though a magazine, while her baby stood on the conveyer belt and was inadvertently scanned along with the groceries. The cashier rings her up at $847.63 (which was the monthly cost of raising a baby in 1989) and she was mistakenly packaged. Meanwhile the woman wonders where her baby is, and she pops out of one of the shopping bags, promptly having her mom to sigh in relief.

The screen then introduces a yellow-skin girl who wears an orange dress, who is told to leave a band rehearsal due to her non-conforming playing, and does so while playing her saxophone.

The family is shown on their way to their house at 742 Evergreen Terrace. The man was driving there in his purple car, when he felt something burning in his back. He pulled out the plutonium bar and threw it out the window.

Meanwhile the boy was skateboarding through the sidewalk, startling many residents, weaving in between them. And the baby seemed to driving a car, swerving dangerously through the street lanes. But then the computer screen panned out to reveal her mom was driving and the baby was just driving a toy-steering wheel.

The family members all miraculously reach home at the same time. The man arrives first, parking his car before their garage, while the boy lands on the car roof with his skateboard. As the man steps out of the car, he quickly dodges his daughter zooming by on her bike. He looked annoyed and then screams as he sees his wife's car coming towards him. Then the screen shifts to her sight, inside of the car, showing the man running away from her until he goes in through the door.

Upon entering their house, they speed towards the family room couch where a Moogle was sitting with the remote. "Yo," it waved. Then the family settles down to watch their "must-see" television show.

_**RG-RG-RG**_

The pristine, white starship _Heart of Gold_ zipped into existence, leaving behind a trail of pizza boxes, television sets, piggy banks, a videogame controller, electric fans, book bags, and a moose. It has arrived at its destination: Radiant Garden. Much has changed for this world. It had been a great city undergoing major renovation, and still surrounded by endless wasteland. Now, it was a sparkling jewel in the middle of a budding forest, a real garden.

"It's so nice to be back!" a chibi Rika pumped her right fist into the air.

"So this place is called Radiant Garden, eh?" Chibi Yakko asked when a simple POP sounded and everyone returned to "normal".

Ford pulled out _The Guide_ and perused it. "Hmm…_The Guide_ says this place used to be called Hollow Bastion, but apparently it reverted to its original name of the Radiant Garden several years ago."

"Really, now? Oddly enough, I like the name Hollow Bastion more than Radiant Garden," Arthur muttered to himself.

"So why's it called 'Radiant Garden'?" House asked Stitch. "Is it filled with glowing flowers or something?"

Stitch thought it over. "Nuh-uh," he answered, shaking his head, ears flopping from side to side.

"Well, that's the dumbest name for a place I've ever heard if there's no glowing flowers," House scoffed, crossing his arms.

"You take things too literally, House-man," Dr. Cox declared. "Say, where's Newbie? It's about time where I belittle his medical skills, which, somehow turn into interesting and thought-provoking advice that he takes to heart to become a great doctor."

"Did I hear that right, Dr. Cox?" JD's voice echoed from behind a door. "You think I can become a great doctor?!"

"No. I think you'll make a great circus monkey where they fling their feces at each other, but, then again, at least monkeys have aim when they toss their flying poos," Dr. Cox deadpanned.

The door slid open with a sigh and when JD preceded through it a bucket of warm water dropped on him. "Ha, ha, Janitor. The old put-a-bucket-of-water-over-a-door trick, very funny!"

"Sure is!" Janitor crackled, resting on his mop by the wet bar. "Oh, and, uh…that ain't water."

JD's eyes widened as he felt the warm "water" seeping throughout his body. "I don't even want to know…Anyway, look, I have an idea: Let's try and go the whole day without getting in each other's hair; you know, just…give each other a break? What do you say?"

The Janitor gave JD an intrigued look and mulled it over. "I'm gonna give you a nickname," he finally said.

"That…that's good, but you know, I already have a nickname; it's 'JD'," he replied.

Janitor just ignored him. "How 'bout…uh…Whiny Face……Whiny Britches! Whiny…something. I definitely like 'whiney'!" JD gave him a dirty look as he headed to the starship's showers to clean himself up. "Uh…Whiny Dancer!"

Meanwhile, Daffy was wearing a green spacesuit and Porky wore a purple suit with a hood over his head. Both were steering the starship into Radiant Garden. "In-in-incoming message from the planet, Captain Duck Dodgers," Porky reported.

"Put it through, Cadet," Daffy ordered.

"**THIS IS LOUD KIDDINGTON SPEAKING, HEAD OF THE GARAGE CREW OF RADIANT GARDEN, UNDER CID HIGHWIND'S COMMAND! ARE YOU FRIEND OR FOE?**"

Porky's ears nearly exploded from the extremely earsplitting voice from the intercom, his head shaking back and forth in the usual cartoon-fashion. "This is one of those times that I'm happy that I don't have ears," Daffy said to you, the reader.

"W-w-we're friend," Porky replied through the radio, trying to pop his eardrums back in. "This is Porky Pig of Looney Tune Land, bringing in daughter of Sora, savior of the universe, and coming in on the starship _Heart of Gold_. Nice to meet you again, Loud."

"**NICE TO MEET YOU AGAIN, TOO PORKY!**" Loud responded, prompting Porky to once again cringe at Loud's booming voice.

"Hey, wasn't the _Heart of Gold_ stolen?" another voice asked over the radio, its voice extremely low and frog-like.

"Uh…" Porky paused.

Suddenly Zaphod came sliding in, his newly restored second head smacking against his first head like a rogue scarf. He grabbed the radio from Porky and said, "Hey, I stole that ship fair and square...Oh, uh, I mean…This is Zaphod Beeblebrox, President of the Galaxy, I confiscated this starship for Sora's daughter for her journey to save the universe."

"I thought you were impeached?" Trillian asked dryly.

"Can it, sweetheart, I'm trying to do business," Zaphod's no-nonsense head said sternly while the other grumbled and sulked angrily.

"Whatever you say, Mr. President Dude!" another voice declared in a surfer accent, and Porky, Zaphod, and Daffy can, for some reason, tell that that voice was saluting.

"You are correct, sir!" yet another voice declared, sounding a lot like Ed McMahon from _The Tonight Show_.

"What the heck are the _Histeria!_ characters doing on Radiant Garden?" Daffy asked. "I thought they were back at Looney Tune Land?"

"I-I-I g-g-g, suppose that t-they were sent by B-B-Bugs to h-h-h, assist them," Porky shrugged. "Either that or No Limit just wants them to appear."

"Goddamn fourth-wall breaking," House mumbled in disgust. "It wasn't funny when it was created and it isn't funny now!"

_**RG-RG-RG**_

The starship flowed effortlessly through the clouds, gliding through the soaring spires and sparkling towers, dozens of little hover cars zipping everywhere like metal insects. The _Heart of Gold_ soared through the buildings and skyscrapers of Radiant Garden, coming in for a landing at a platform jutting out of the enormous central tower with its heart-shaped emblem emblazoned across the front, a city within the city so to say. The ship touched down and the hatchway lowered, allowing the travelers, hitchhikers and farm animals to disembark.

"Wonder how everyone is doing?" Rika said.

"Why don't you ask for yourself?" Leaning against the entrance archway stood a tall, dark brown haired man dressed in black leather, a stylized lion pendent hanging around his neck. At his hip was strapped an unusual weapon, not quite a gun, not quite a sword, but a little bit of both. A Gunblade.

"Leon!" Rika screamed, running over and jumping into his arms.

Leon caught her and returned the hug. Yep, it was old Leon alright. Albeit older, but hey, he's still a brave general for Radiant Garden. "Hey, Squirt." He set Rika to the ground. "What brings you here?" He then cast his eyes over to Rika's group. Yakko and Wakko waved excitedly hello, while their younger sister's eyes have gone heartsie and her tongue drooled all over the ground. "Who are your friends?"

"Oh." Rika stepped back and held out hands to her team, as if to introduce celebrities. "These are my friends, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Bender, JD, Janitor, Dr. Cox, House, Ford, Arthur, Trillian, Zaphod, Marvin, you've already met Stitch, and that's Yakko, Wakko, and…"

To Leon's surprise (and dismay) Dot leapt into his arms. "I'm cute, but you can call me Dot." Little hearts appearing over her head as she snuggled into Leon's chest. "You're like every cute boy band rolled into one…"

Yakko and Wakko both jabbed their thumbs at the scene. "Girls."

"Don't mind Dot." Rika giggled at Leon's confused look that he sent her. "She's just a little boy crazy. Um…I think it'll be best if I said what happened with the others."

Leon sudden got a look of worry in his eyes. "Did something happen?"

"Yeah…" Rika sighed. "It's a long story…better tell you and the others."

Leon led them through the ancient halls and corridors of the vast, labyrinthine citadel. Radiant Garden certainly has changed from been dark, abandoned, in a bad state of disrepair. No more. Now they were cleaned, repaired and filled with people, Moogles and other strange races. Shops and stores had been opened up along the avenue, retailing anything from potions and elixirs to armor to…a Kwik-E-Mart. Out front hung two very unusual young men, one tall, skinny with long blonde hair and black ski-cap pulled over it, the other shorter, stout, with a black beard, trench coat and baseball cap pulled on backwards. And, with them was the little yellow-skinned boy. "You got any of the…you know…good stuff, Jay?" the boy asked.

"Oh yeah, kid…" the tall blonde one said as the shorter one reached into his pocket and pulled out…a large firecracker! You thought I was going to say drugs, didn't you? "Peruse our fine selection of assorted trinkets, doodads, sundries, notions, and assorted novelties with which you can blow crap up with!" Suddenly, the yellow boy pulled out a slingshot from his pocket, launching a rock at the firecracker that Jay was holding and it promptly exploded, blackening his face. "Why you little…"

"Eat my shorts!" the boy crackled, zooming away on a skateboard and turned around. He grinned coyly pulled out of his pocket a large supply of firecrackers.

Jay's eyes widened as he looked into his friend's pockets, which were filled to the brim of random items, but no explosives. "That little punk made off with our merchandise! And I will not eat your shorts, you little brat! Honestly, dude, kids these days got no respect for their elders. I mean, we're just trying to help them create a bright and beautiful future." Just then, a man older than Jay accidentally bumped into Jay as he exited the Kwik-E-Mart. "Watch it, faggot!" Jay yelled. "Jeez, what's with old people? They just don't get us young folk. Don't they get that we're their future?" His silent partner just stared vacantly away, apparently used to his friend's long-winded and unnecessary rants. "You never agree with me anymore. Why don't you agree with me anymore? Quit giving me the silent treatment, Silent Bob!"

"How strange…" Arthur Dent commented, scratching his head confusedly.

Leon led them through the maze of shops and apartments, deeper into the bowels of the citadel until at last they found themselves in Ansem's old laboratory, completely renovated for their own personal usage now. Around them could be the heard the sounds of people working, tinkering on all sort of different contraptions. And finally, they came upon some familiar faces. "Well, look who dog-gone and decided to drop by!" a blond-haired man wearing goggles and chewing a toothpick declared. "Welcome back!"

"Hey, Cid!" Rika replied.

Suddenly, Yakko jumped on Cid's head. "Well, sheee-ooot!" Yakko hooted in a hillbilly accent. "Aren't you just a backwood country yokel!"

Cid scowled and threw Yakko off. "Get off of me, yah varmint!"

"N-n-now, let's try not to o-o-offend anyone," Porky warned, grabbing all three Warners by the scruff of their necks. The others were here too; super strong, super beautiful Tifa; wise and gentle Aerith; hyper-active Yuffie; and the long-bearded wizard Merlin.

In a heartbeat, Yakko escaped Porky's grip and jumped into Tifa's arms while Wakko jumped into Aerith's, both women startled by this. "Helloooooooooo NURSE!" they howled, before each giving a long kiss to the girls they are with on the cheek and hopped off, leaving two very baffled ladies.

"Heh, I bet Cloud would lose his stoic-edge and go crazy over this!" Rika tried to suppress her laughter.

"Boys, go fig," Dot shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh sure! Laugh at the Warner Brothers while leaving the classics out!" Daffy growled, crossing his arms.

"Good to see ya, Rika!" Yuffie immediately ran over and locked her in a bear hug.

"Nice to see you, too Yuffie…but…you're crushing me." Yuffie let Rika go of her python-like grip.

After Rika had introduced her new friends and team to the others, she quickly explained what had happened on Destiny Islands, how she had come to have the Keyblade, the Purifiers and Soulfuls, and her quest for Linking the worlds. "Hmm…this is quite serious," Merlin said grimly, stroking his beard. "I have hoped that the Soulfuls would never reemerge…"

"Wait, back up!" Daffy shouted. "You're telling us that these Soulful things existed before?!"

"Yes," Merlin sighed. "But perhaps it would be best that Leon explained. He was there when it happened."

"I guessing you all are aware what Heartless and Nobodies are?" Leon asked Rika's group, whom nodded. "Okay, well, it begins just after the creation of the Heartless, but before their plague started infecting the worlds. Ansem the Wise also studied Souls, what gives a being life. He first became aware of Souls when he discovered a Nobody. He had thought that since Nobodies are the bodies of a person and Heartless were the Hearts, what became of the Soul? He was curious as what would happen to a Soul when a person passes on or is turned into a Heartless. He thought it musts have taken a form of a new being, like Nobodies. At first, it was just simple little philosophy stuff, nothing too serious. But then, one of his assistants – new girl, ambitious, a bit of a klutz – named Gabrielle caught wind of his idea and began developing ideas of her own. She figured that Souls had to do with something even grander than Hearts…even more than Kingdom Hearts!

"But, of course, after the Heartless was released into the world and went into guerrilla warfare between us and the Heartless. After Ansem the Wise disappeared and his 6 main assistants turned into Heartless and Nobodies, all there was left was Gabrielle and seven others. Gabrielle and her associates began developing a possible machine that could reunite a Heartless with its Nobody and Soul…well, No Limit told you what happened. She did it. She bonded them, creating a Soulful and broke the laws of life, breaking up the world into smaller ones.

"Gabrielle and her partners were banished from Radiant Garden. She didn't argue. She left without uttering a single word. Gabrielle was guilt-ridden of what she did. But she came across a world. Traverse Town, the town made from destroyed worlds from the Heartless. She believed she found the solution to correcting her wrong. She would have the Heartless destroy the worlds; all until the one world has been reunite into Traverse Town. Gabrielle used the Soulfuls to keep the people safe…or so she thought. Since then, she had been at work, preparing for the time to unite the worlds. She had also followed Ansem's lead and abandoned her real name and adopted a new one: Mistress Purity."

Everyone in the room was dead silent. "So…" Rika finally broke the silence, "…Gabri-, sorry. Mistress Purity is one of the Purifiers and the one who created the Soulfuls?"

"Yeah…" Leon sighed. "If you wish to know who the others are, they are her associates who helped build the machine. But, when the first Soulful was created, it went on a rampage throughout their lab. As they attempted to restrain it, Purity's assistants fell into the machine and it was activated, which twisted and destroyed their Souls. Only fragments of their original souls remained – they became human Soulfuls. All granted the abilities of Soulfuls and new unique powers of their own."

"Jeez, these guys are starting to sound like Organization XIII wannabes," House rolled his eyes.

"Yeah," Leon agreed. "Except Soulfuls have all of Heartless' destructive power and instincts, Nobodies' intelligence and teamwork, and their own Soul-destroying powers."

"Pretty much making them even worse than Heartless and Nobodies?" House asked. Leon nodded. "Perfect! Now we fully know what we're dealing with and what we must do to stop them: slay some Soulfuls, defeat the bad guys, lock worlds and Link them……PFT! Yeah, right! Like we're going to win! No offence, Rika. Totally ignoring what my common sense is telling me, I believe you can Link the worlds all right, but I doubt a couple of doctors, hitchhikers, two robots, an alien, farm animals and one Keyblader could save the universe. This isn't some RPG; this is life."

"No, this is a goddamn wet-dream story written by a horny 15-year-old nerd," Marvin droned miserably. "And he already used this joke back in Chapter 7, except with different words…bloody Americans…so damn useless and lazy while sitting on a couch like a potato, munching on some Cheese Puffs."

"Will you shut up?!" Bender snapped, smacking the upside of Marvin's dome head.

"Rika…" Trillian said to her motherly, "are you okay?"

Rika didn't answer. It was just so difficult to believe that someone who just wished to help the world ended up destroying it. She looked at to her team and old family friend, who looked back at her with worried looks. Finally, she smiled meekly, "Hey, if one person can create a mess this big, one person can clean it up."

Everyone gave her encouraging smiles while House, Daffy and Marvin rolled their eyes at the cheesy comment. "That's all fine and good," Yuffie said, "but I'm worried about what happened to Kuro!" Rika's smile instantly dropped, her back went rigid, and her eyes shot wide open in shock. How could she possibly forgotten of her best friend? "Wasn't he back on the island as it disappeared? I doubt we'll get another miracle like what happened with Riku."

"Rika, who's Kuro?" Ford asked.

"Kuro…" she whispered, guilt-ridden, "was my friend that I left on my island as it was destroyed by the Heartless."

Even House's right eyebrow shot up as the rest of the_ Heart of Gold_ crew gasped. "H-h-how can you le-le-le, abandon your friend on y-y-your island as it was b-b-being de-de-de, obliterated?!" Porky demanded.

Rika barely answered, "I don't know…we were surrounded by Heartless and he insisted that I go without him…I knew I couldn't, but he had already activated the Gummi Ship's autopilot." She grabbed the upper part of her right arm, clenching it tightly. Her eyes were glued to the ground. "It had been only four days and I've already completely forgotten about Kuro. I only thought of my own problems…and never even gave a second thought of my home and Kuro. Some friend I am…" Rika's shoulders shook uncontrollably, small tears rolling down from her eyes.

"Rika…" Aerith took her into her arms, hugging her. "You've also only just recently discovered your destiny. That's sure to put many things out of your head. As for Kuro…I'm sure he's already. After all, he is Riku's son!" Rika didn't answer. She just had her head buried into Aerith's shirt, crying. "Oh, Rika…"

It was some time before Rika had settled down, but she was still unable to forgive herself for forgetting Kuro for even a _second_…. Aerith and Trillian tenderly patting her back and shoulders. "Well…" Dr. Cox sighed, hands in his coat's pockets, "this just only another thing was have to do on our long, long, long, long list of things to do. 'Locate and bring back Rika's friend.' Fantastic…as if we didn't have enough to do."

"I'm sorry, guys…" Rika wiped her tears away. "I didn't mean to bring you all down…"

"Nonsense, my girl!" Bender swinging his left arm around her shoulders. "I love making people depressed all the time! It's a personal hobby of mine. In fact, I was the one who flushed down one of my best friends' pets down a toilet on its birthday!" Rika smiled meekly. "Ha, am I a comedic genius! Though, I actually _did_ flush one of my best friends' pets down a toilet…But that's beside the point, Rika…as one of your friends, I must insist that you quit the wining and get your butt moving!" Bender grabbed under her armpit and dragged her up from the seat she was sitting in. "If you're truly sorry about what happened to your friend, then get going out there and find him! After that, you can start kissing his ass for forgiveness. And you always have us to help with every step of the way, 'cause we're family…"

"Right!" Stitch hopped on top of Rika's left shoulder, giving a sloppy lick on her cheek. "We're family…Ohana. Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind…"

"You can always count on us, buddy!" Yakko, Wakko and Dot laughed, hopping on Rika as well and giving her noogies.

"We're Best-Space-Traveling-World-Saving-Friends!" JD grinned widely, giving a thumb up…until Dr. Cox smacked the upside of his head.

"My God, Jennifer, I thought you couldn't get any gayer…" he rolled his eyes. "But, yeah…I'm willing to pull my weight when asked…but only once a month!"

"You're stuck with us…" House used his cane to wave around to the group, "…for life…. God, I love that _James and the Giant Peach_ movie…especially the part where they flattened those insane aunts. Lord, that was hilarious!"

"I'm a simple janitor with simple needs…" the Janitor said whimsically, leaning on his mop. "And my only need is this…wherever JD goes, I'm sure to follow with pranks bursting out of my pockets. And that's just so happens that Dork-enstien is with you, Keysword Bearer…"

"Keyblade," Dr. Cox deadpanned.

"Keyblade. Keysword…what's the difference? It's just a giant key that you wave around! Hell, I think this story jumped the shark with this." Janitor reaching into his pocket and held out a butter knife duck-taped to a rusty old key.

"What's that, Janitor?" Yakko asked.

"What does it look like?" Janitor sighed in despair. "It's a key, and it's a blade. It's my KEYBLADE!" The Warners groaned and smacked their foreheads. "See? I told you so!"

"Hitchhikers got to stick together!" Ford held up his towel proudly.

"I be-be-believe there was a r-r-reason why Bugs a-a-asked us to f-f-f, locate you, Rika," Porky stuttered. "A-a-also why we met a-a-all our friends: we're the ones to help y-y-you find your friend, s-s-save the universe and the d-d-day! R-r-right, Daffy?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure…" Daffy responded nonchalantly, licking his left thumb to flip the page of a magazine he was reading. "Are we almost done yet? This is getting boring."

"Well, I'm no longer the President of the Universe, have the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything…and got nothing else to do so…sure, I guess I could lend you my starship to save the universe…" Zaphod muttered, picking his left head's earwax with his pinky and flicking it away at Marvin.

"And I've got to be the other sane person on that ship," Trillian smiled sweetly.

"I know what it's like to lose your world and everything that means anything to you, Rika…" Arthur said, walking toward her. "I didn't even believe my world was gone when I escaped it. I lost my friends…family…job – which really wasn't a bad thing – but I found a new family. I just hope you'll accept me to be a part of it." Arthur held out his hand to Rika. She looked around to all her friends: Daffy, Porky, the Warners, Bender, Stitch, JD, Dr. Cox, House, Janitor, Ford, Trillian, Zaphod, Leon, Aerith, Yuffie, Merlin, Tifa, and, finally, Arthur. She smiled.

"Of course, Arthur," Rika shook Arthur's hand. "Thank you…all of you. I really couldn't do this without you." Everyone smiled, assuring themselves that everything was okay. Rika looked up into the air and thought, "_I'm sorry, guys…I can't forgive myself. Only when we find Kuro and make sure he's alright that I'll be able to. And Kuro……please be safe._"

"Now all that's cleared up, I think it's about time to reveal to you what we've been up to here," Leon said, heading out the room and waving for Rika's group to follow.

"You go ahead without us," Tifa said. "We still have some other things to take care of."

"About bloody time…" Marvin moaned, wobbling with them. "This was starting to get absolutely outrageous with all those characters talking about one thing or another. I swear, we could've just avoided this scene, but _noooooooo_…"

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Leon led them through the newly constructed halls of the citadel. They entered what looked like a large laboratory with many computers, screens, test tubes, and scientists all over the room. "Dr. Reed Richards," Leon called.

"In a moment, Mr. Leonhart!" a voice called from above them.

"'Leonhart'?" Daffy repeated. "You're name's Leon Leonhart?! Talk about alliteration!"

"Oh, Leon's not his real name," Rika explained. "He changed his name back when Radiant Garden was tainted by the Heartless. His real name is Squall."

"'Squall?'" Dot repeated with disgust. "What kind of stupid name is that?!"

Leon was about to make a witty comment, but was interrupted. "Ah!" a man on a metal railing on an upper level looked down to them. He was a young-looking man, but strangely his sideburns were white. He wore a tight, blue jumpsuit-like outfit with a white lab coat over it. The suit was embodied with a number 4. "You must be Rika, the daughter of Sora!" To everyone's amazement, the man's body stretched like a rubber band to their lower level and walked towards them as if it was common day act. "I am Dr. Reed Richards, Head Scientist in this laboratory."

"He's also known as Mr. Fantastic…" a beautiful, blonde woman walked over to them. She wore the same sort of jumpsuit as Dr. Richards, even as far as the number 4 and white lab coat, holding a chart. "Hello, my name is Susan Storm, or the Invisible Woman, wife of the Head Scientist." She winked slyly at the stretchy-man, who blushed awkwardly.

"Hello, pleased to meet you," Rika smiled.

Yakko and Wakko were about to jump into Susan's arms, but Dr. Cox and House caught the two Warners, respectively. "Aw…you guys are no fun!" Wakko pouted.

"XJ-9, be careful with that valuable piece of hardware!" a little woman exclaimed in a German-accent. She had tall white hair and wore a yellow, buttoned lab coat, shoes and strange, red goggles that greatly enlarged her eyes. She was instructing an unusual, female, and teenaged-looking robot as it moved a large machine in the air, thanks to its rockets. The robot had white, metal arms and legs, blue plating around its torso and waist down to look like clothes. It has a round head and two blue "pony tails" that serves as rockets to lift her into the air.

"I AM being careful, Mom!" the robot snapped, her voice strained a bit. "And I told you, my name is Jenny!" Then Jenny accidentally lost her grip and dropped the device on the floor.

"Look at what you have done!" the woman scolded her creation/daughter.

"Um…Mrs. Wakeman?" Leon waved for her attention.

"Huh, what? Oh, yes! Hello, children!" the woman stepped toward the group with Jenny. "I am Dr. Nora Wakeman, Head of Robotics. But you could just call me Mrs. Wakeman if you like. And this is my daughter, XJ-9…"

"Jenny!" the robot girl shouted at her mother.

"Simply amazing…" Ford whispered, prodding Jenny with his right finger. "A fully functional robot built by a human…I've got to update _The Guide_ for this!"

_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about robots_:

"_The _Encyclopedia Galactica_," it says, "defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes,' with a footnote to the effect that the editors would welcome applications from anyone interested in taking over the post of robotics correspondent._

"_Curiously enough, an edition of the _Encyclopedia Galactica_ that had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came.'_

"_And, on a side note, roving reporter of _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_, Ford Prefect has discovered a human who built an actual functioning robot……who knew?"_

"Well, well, so this is the child with the Key…" a voice from above proclaimed. Mrs. Wakeman yelped, jumping back at the sight of a furry blue creature in pants and a lab coat landing in front of her. His face had a smile that could make anyone at ease. "Sorry, Nora," he apologized.

"Watch where you're going, you big baboon!" she snapped towards him.

Turning back to Rika and her group, he introduced himself, "I am Dr. Henry McCoy, or Beast as many call me. I am Head of Radioactivity and Mutations."

"Uh, Hi, Dr. McCoy," Rika greeted.

"Please, Beast will suffice," he smiled cheerfully.

"What's going on over here?" a little 10-year-old boy asked. He wasn't very tall, but had a large head with brown, fudge-y hair. He wore a red T-shirt with an atom on it and a pair of blue jeans.

"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Mr. James Isaac Neutron. Or Jimmy for short. He too is on staff, Head of New Inventions," Leon said.

"But he's just a kid!" Stitch said. "And he's so small…"

"I maybe small, but I have a big brain," Jimmy responded. "Wow…that's an interesting pet you have there. Did you splice a monkey and a dog to make him?"

"Why I ought…" Stitch pushed up his fur on his arms, imitating them as sleeves, and started stomping towards the boy genius.

"Whoa there, Stitch!" Bender snatched him up by the armpits. "I love meaningless destruction as the next guy, but I gotta put my foot-cup down on this one."

"So, what's this new lab for anyway?" House asked.

"Exactly what you think it is," a man replied, strolling casually towards them. He had short, slightly-spiky hair. He wore a white, unbuttoned shirt and, underneath it was a red T-shirt. "This lab is dedicated to studying and finding a cure for the Heartless. But, judging by the fact that you have arrived, we have also been working on a cure for Soulfuls as well. I'm Dr. Tommy Oliver. Head of Paleontology and Studies of Soulfuls."

"Holy moly!" JD exclaimed as he was hopping up and down, his hand balled into a fist over his mouth and squealing like a little girl. "That's Tommy! Tommy from the Power Rangers! Oh, my God! I love the Power Rangers!"

"A Power Ranger?" Rika repeated. "What's that?"

"Heh," Tommy chuckled, shaking his head, "I knew my past would catch up with me. A Power Ranger is a person granted a powerful device called a Morpher. It turns that person into a powerful warrior with great abilities to fight against evil."

"Oh! Oh!" JD continued hopping up and down. "Are you wearing that red-shirt, because you're a Red Ranger again?!"

"I told everyone always wearing the same color and your Ranger color was a bad idea…" Tommy muttered.

"Really, how can anyone not notice that?" a young man remarked. He had black hair and a skin complexion and accent of a man from India, and wore normal clothes under his lab coat. "I am Dr. Mohinder Suresh, Head of Genetics. I've been studying Heartless genes to see what makes them tick. They are unlike anything I've ever seen, and I come from a world with super heroes," he joked.

"So you're trying to f-f-f, discover a cure to Heartless and Soulfuls?" Porky asked.

"Yes. Here at this laboratory. We have been studying the Heartless and Soulfuls for quite some time," Beast explained. "We hope to find a solution to them and, hopefully, store peace to the worlds."

"That's, of course, up to you," Tommy said to Rika. "From what I heard about the legends, you're the one to restore the worlds to their proper position."

"Does everyone have to remind me about that…?" Rika muttered nervously. "I'm anxious enough as it is."

"Quiet, Thomas!" Mrs. Wakeman slapped the upside of his head. "You're going to give that poor child a meltdown!"

"Heh, heh, sorry about that," Tommy smiled sheepishly.

"Anyway, I think it's time we head off to show you the rest of what we have cooking in the castle," Leon said, continuing the tour. As the group waved good-bye to the laboratory staff, Dr. Cox and House stood behind; both huddled together and whispering. They broke it and nodded.

"Me and the Limper are staying behind," Dr. Cox called out to Rika. "We also want to find the cure of the Heartless and could gather some important information here. We'll meet up with ya later!"

"Then I'm staying with Dr. Cox!" JD exclaimed, zooming right next to his mentor. "After all, I AM his mentee!"

"And I'm staying behind with the Nerd!" Janitor smirked, zipping right next to JD like he did for Dr. Cox. "After all, JD can't have a happy moment as long as I'm around!"

"Heh, okay then," Rika nodded. "Just don't get into too much trouble now!"

"No worries, Rika, my gal, I promise ya there won't be any!" JD turned around to follow Dr. Cox, House, Tommy, Mrs. Wakeman, Beast, Dr. Richards, Susan and Jenny, but accidentally stepped into a mop bucket, sending him sliding in it into a wall.

"As for me…No promises," Janitor smirked deviously.

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Over at the bailey, two familiar white lab mice walked along the ledge. One was shorter than the other, but had a huge brain/head. The other had a dumb look on his face. Those two mice were on a mission…A mission to take over the world! The shorter one stopped, turned, and gazed at the castle known as Hollow Bastion and taller one stopped behind him. "Look and behold, Pinky!" the shorter one said. "The Castle of Radiant Garden! Do you know who used to take residence there?" he asked.

"Sleeping Beauty?" the taller mouse, Pinky answered stupidly.

The shorter one just rubs his temples in annoyance. "No, Pinky," he answered calmly. "It was the castle of Ansem the Wise, one of the most famed geniuses of this world. He and his associates worked aimlessly there trying to figure out the greatest mysteries of the Heart. It was here that he discovered the greatest secret…"

"You mean where the one sock goes when you have two socks go into a dryer but only one comes out, Brain?" Pinky asked.

The shorter mouse, Brain just turned away and started walking. "Don't make me have to hurt you," Brain said. "Come, Pinky, to the castle postern!"

"Why?" Pinky asked, beginning to follow Brain. "What are we going to do there?"

"The same thing we always do, Pinky," Brain replied. "TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

_**End of Chapter 14**_


	16. I'd Rather Have a Brochure

_**Chapter 15: I'd Rather Have a Brochure**_

"Why do I have a funny feeling that mice are trying to take over the world?" Arthur muttered to himself as he and the rest of the _Heart of Gold_ crew followed Leon through the massive halls of the cathedral after leaving JD, House, Dr. Cox, and the Janitor behind at the science laboratory.

"Uh, huh…yeah, right. We'll get you some new clothes soon, Arthur…" Ford replied, barely listening as he updated _The Guide_ on its 'Why Tours Are Boring, But Very Effective Ways of Introducing Supporting Characters in Stories' entry.

"Honestly, Ford! My funny feelings usually come true. Like that funny feeling back at my world; I had a funny feeling about the color yellow, and then _yellow_ Vogon constructor fleets turned my planet into a whiff of hydrogen, ozone and carbon monoxide!!"

"Are you asking me to make an entry on you, Arthur?" Ford smiled coyly. "I would, if you'd like. But not for the official _Guide_, of course."

"Oh, never mind, Ford…" he sighed dismally, turning his head toward Leon. "Um, excuse me, Mr. Leon, sir? I don't suppose I could get some tea, here? I could _really_ use a cup right about now."

"Well, the cafeteria isn't too far off from here," Leon answered.

"Cafeteria?" Rika repeated, raising her left eyebrow. "Why would you need a cafeteria?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you." Leon stopped for a moment, turning around and holding his arms open to gesture out a window, down to the courtyard, where they discovered literally dozens of young men, women and other exotic creatures from all over the universe. They were clustered in groups, each one practicing a different technique – martial arts, sharp shooting, spell casting, and on and on. "Welcome to Great Academy of Radiant Garden. These young men and women you see are the SeeDs of Garden, training to become elite fighters in the war with the Darkness. When they graduate, they'll go out to all the worlds they came from, to plant the seeds of light and life, therefore making sure the Darkness will never find root again."

"Clever," Daffy commented wryly. "You come up with that all by yourself?"

"Well, Aerith made the card I just read," Leon answered, holding up an index card and then flicking it away.

"I'm not surprised," Daffy grinned.

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Pinky and the Brain navigated the gloomy, silent corridors of the castle, their footsteps echoing off the recently polished walls. "So what exactly do you have planned, Brain?" Pinky asked.

"Have you ever heard of Xehanort, Pinky?" Brain responded.

"Yes!" Pinky replied. He then stopped and thought for a second. "Uh…actually, no."

"He was the prized pupil of Ansem the Wise, the proprietor of this castle," Brain explained. "When Ansem gave up his study of the darkness inside people's Hearts, Xehanort and his fellow accomplices continued what was started. They worked day and night studying the effects of the Darkness. Then one day, they made the most interesting find!"

"The flavor of Dr. Pepper?" Pinky asked.

"The Heartless!" Brain exclaimed. "Creatures without hearts, formed from the darkness in people's hearts. Cold, emotionless, unintelligent beings that only strive for one purpose: to claim the light in the hearts of others!"

"So they're like IRS workers?" Pinky alleged.

"More vicious than even that, Pinky!" Brains added. "These creatures seek and hunt out any living thing capable of feeling. They operate on mere, primal instinct. But, they can be controlled by one whose heart is devoid of light, fueled by the darkness in his heart. That is why we're here."

"But that still doesn't explain why _Invader Zim _was canceled!" Pinky cried.

"This has nothing to do with that!" Brain retorted.

"I know!" Pinky replied. "That's what makes it annoying, Zoink!" Brain just sighed.

Pinky and the Brain were now in Ansem's former study. Pinky sat on the edge of Ansem's desk while Brain stood atop an old journal, reading it. He would occasionally use his feet to turn the pages. "According to the eighth Ansem report," Brain said, focusing on the journal. "Xehanort created a machine that was able to artificially produce Heartless. The machine was a success. With the machine, Xehanort could create Heartless seamlessly identical to natural-born Heartless." Brain then stepped off the journal and closed it. "If we can find Xehanort's machine, we would be able to create an unlimited army of Heartless! Such simple, mindless beings are uncomplicated to command. And with the machine, we can create vast multitudes. We can easily replace felled Heartless. Today, Hollow Bastion. Tomorrow, this world. Next week, all worlds!"

Brain raised a fist in the air. "Veni, Vidi, Vici!" he exclaimed.

Pinky, facing Brain, mindlessly applauded. "Egad, Brain!" he cheered. "That is a brilliant plan, Point!" Pinky then abruptly stopped, confusion coming across his face. "Oh, wait," he said. "Where exactly would we find this machine, Brain?"

"Why do you think I dragged you out to this castle?" Brain asked.

"Sight-seeing?" Pinky answered stupidly.

Brain jumped above Pinky and bopped him on the head. "Why do I even bother asking?" he groaned. He then calmed down slightly. "Xehanort's machine is somewhere in this castle, and we need to find it!"

"Oh, come now Brain!" Pinky said, leaping onto the floor below. "It's not like you can just mosey on over to any given wall and just press against it, expecting to find a secret passage!"

While talking, Pinky did just that. To both Pinky and the Brain's surprise, a secret passage did open, the passage that lead to Ansem's computer. "Narf!" Pinky exclaimed. "Speak of the red guy!"

The Brain leapt off the desk and walked towards the secret passage. "Pinky, I believe your ignorance just discovered our bounty!" he said as he walked through. "Come. There is much to do."

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Back with Rika, Leon and the others, they left the hallways behind and entered a relatively calm cafeteria, at least a hundred or so students seated for meals or standing in line. Behind the counter stood a huge, muscular man with a large jaw, long hair, wearing a purple tunic and a chef's hat on his head, cowering before a mid-sized man with an annoyed looked (which might explain the curls on his forehead), furled eyebrows, short blonde hair, wearing a chef's white shirt and dark blue pants. "Are you an imbecile, Kronk?!" the angry-looking man berated the taller and more muscular one, holding a plate of oatmeal up in the other's face; his voice a Scottish accent. "Just look at this! Look at it! It's like baby vomit for God's sake!"

"I'm so sorry, Chef Ramsay," Kronk whimpered pathetically in a deep voice. "I'll do better next time, I promise! Just please stop yelling, you're tearing our cafeteria family apart!"

Ramsay angrily smacked the upside of Kronk's head. "Mother (**BLEEP!**)-er…I can't handle this job…" Kronk gaped at him. "Oh, crap. Forgot I'm in G-Rated land. (**BLEEP!**), I hate having all my swear words bleeped out by divine intervention. (**BLEEP!**)-ing ridicules…" Kronk continued gaping. Ramsay groaned, shoving the oatmeal into Kronk's hands and pushing him off. "Get you're ass moving; we got starving students, you little (**BLEEP!**)!" He turned, pulled out a long and very shiny kitchen knife, stabbed it into a wooden cutting board, and screamed, "Dang! WHERE IS THAT BLEEP MACHINE?!"

"Interesting help you got here, chief," Bender remarked to Leon as he crossed his arms and tapping his robotic foot cup, annoyed with the lousy service.

"I'm just surprised No Limit used a non-fictional person in this story!" Yakko exclaimed melodramatically, looking distressed as he threw his hands over his face. "Pretty soon he'll be writing stories with none of us in them! Then he'll give that up to write some lemon fics! Next, he'll be writing original stories! And then the worse will happen…He'll write _non-fictional, historically correct biographies_!!"

"Stop, Yakko! You're scaring our sister!" Wakko shouted, patting his sister, who has her head hanging over his shoulder.

"No…not non-fiction…" Dot whispered, trembling horribly. "The HORROR!!!"

"Hey, get your hot dogs here, come on get your hot dogs!" Kronk called from the pick-up line. "C'mon, I know you want 'em! Kronk's specialty, hot dogs! I have 'em, you want 'em, you crave 'em, let ol' Kronk fill your needs!"

"I would like a hot dog please!" Rika said eagerly.

"Sorry, hot dogs for faculty and students only, kid," Kronk replied sternly. "No can do. Them's the rules, love 'em or leave 'em." He pointed his thumb at the sign behind him. "We got growing SeeDs here, need to keep 'em nourished. Get it? Growing SeeDs? Get it, huh, get it? SeeDs growing, growing SeeDs?"

"How do you even know I'm not faculty or a student?" Rika smiled slyly.

"The fact that you…um…" Kronk replied stupidly. Suddenly, a little angel appeared on his shoulder. "Egad, my shoulder angel! Crud, now what did I do? It's about the 'secret sauce' I put in the egg salad the other day, isn't it?"

"No, no, although thanks for reminding me about that," the angel said in a squeaky voice. "You really did mislead that kid with your marketing campaign," the angel, an exact duplicate of the humongous Kronk, chided. He clucked his tongue disparagingly. "You should give her a hot dog and say you're sorry."

A burst of flame and suddenly a Kronk devil appeared on the other shoulder. "Ah, screw the kid. Can't she read the sign? Ain't your fault she doesn't fit your requirements. If she wants a hot dog, she can enroll with the rest of 'em. Besides, you know the rules – missing food is taken out of your paycheck!"

"I get a…_paycheck_?" Kronk gasped in surprise. "Holy guacamole! No way. Next you're gonna tell me I'm really from an animated movie set in an ancient Mesoamerican civilization and somehow got stuck in some weird fantasy crossover with popular video game and cartoon characters. I need to sit down….no, wait. No, I don't."

Rika, Leon, Daffy, Porky, Bender, Stitch, the Warners, Ford, Arthur, Trillian, Zaphod, and Marvin stared at Kronk as he carried on a conversation with his empty shoulders. "Is everyone here sort of on the weird side?" Trillian asked nervously.

"Hey, Kronk, it's okay, put it on my tab," Leon ordered. The angel and devil vanished in a puff of smoke.

"One 'Kronk' dog coming up, my specialty!" Kronk said, flipping a hot dog into a bun and layering mustard, relish and onions on generously. Rika licked her lips and ate it all up. "Oh, yeah, feel the burn. Might wanna swig a bottle of the ol' Pepto pink stuff after this. Heartburn City, population: you!"

"Okay, that takes the cake!" Bender groaned, hopping over the cafeteria counter with Stitch on his right shoulder. He pulled out a white apron with some words on it from his chest cabinet and put it on. Rika read the words: 'Bite my shiny, metal ass, meatbags!' "You guys go on without us. Stitch and I are gonna teach these rookies how to _really_ cook! But first…"

"Coconut cake and coffee!!" Stitch exclaimed, pulling said foods.

"And beer!" Bender added, pulling out a bottle of tequila from his chest cabinet and started chugging it, walking off as Stitch devoured his cake.

"Okay, then we'll meet up with you later," Rika called to the two as the rest of her group and Leon headed off for the rest of the tour.

"But didn't we come here for my tea?!" Arthur moaned, baffled.

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Back at Radiant Garden's laboratory, Mohinder Suresh was wearing a pair of white, rubber gloves as he looked through the eyepiece of a microscope; observing a bit of Heartless DNA lying on glass. How Radiant Garden got a hold Heartless DNA, he didn't want to know. Mohinder looked up and began writing into a notebook to his left. "How's our young geneticist at work?" a voice from behind him asked.

Mohinder's eyes rolled, recognizing that voice instantly. He turned to see a man not too much taller than him. The man was about in his 40's, balding, and wore a pair of glasses. "Bob," Mohinder greeted.

"Anything developments on your research of the Heartless?" Bob asked.

"As of yet, no," Mohinder answered. "The Heartless are beyond anything I've seen before. At least back at my world when I studied the 'superhuman' genes, I could've seen that they were simply homo sapiens developing strange new abilities…I can't believe I just used that sentence and 'simply' at the same time. Anyway, the Heartless…they're more complicated! Creatures…no, _monsters_ that serves as abominations to the face of the Earth. When I first heard of them and their history, I at first assumed that they were manually made as either Ansem or Xehanort tore out a human's hearts and foolishly left it alone as it slowly turned into a Heartless. Then, I realized that humans are fully capable of transforming into Heartless by themselves, without an outside force; including the Heartless themselves.

"Heartless: Uncontrollable beings made from the Darkness of peoples' hearts, and their population grows every second as they devour and corrupt more hearts on countless worlds. Could it be that the Heartless are the next step in human evolution? That they replace man completely? I don't know…I don't want to know. The Heartless are loyal to no one, except to those of strong hearts. But even then, it's dangerous as the Heartless are only attracted to that heart and will slowly consume it." Mohinder shot a dirty look to Bob. "You're better off abandoning that plan of yours."

"What plan?" Bob asked innocently. "I'm just a simple business man running a Company that serves as co-financer for Radiant Garden to assist in it's goal of freeing the worlds of Darkness. What possible motives could I have?"

"Don't give me that crap," Mohinder whispered, looking left and right as to see that no one else is around. "That Company you run seeks out humans with incredible abilities, tags, experiment, possibly _kills_ them, and other purposes I have yet to discover. You don't want to rid the worlds of the Heartless…I know you're seeking a way to control the Heartless without endangering your heart and finding a cure to them. You wish to use that cure for your infected agents, use them under your command, and have them eliminate your enemies. The Heartless aren't weapons, Bob! They're a _plague_…"

"Honestly, Mohinder," Bob rolled his eyes. "You must lighten up. What you say is true: I do wish to use the Heartless, but in a _benevolent_ manner I assure you. Think about it, countless armies under your control as you face opponents that pose as threats to worlds. The Heartless do come in handy when you encounter enemies stronger than you or your own. After all, you must fight fire with fire."

"Yes well, last I checked, when you play with fire you get burned," Mohinder whispered.

"Mr. Suresh, you're being naïve," Bob said. "Don't be like Bennet and try to make the Company and me the bad guys. We just wish to keep peace with the universe. To keep everyone safe from those who endanger them. We just want to save the world."

"By torturing the people most dear to you? Even as far as your own _daughter_?" Mohinder shot back.

"It was to keep her safe and under control," Bob said calmly, but his eyebrows furled angrily for a brief second.

"I know I agreed to assist the Company, but I'm starting to once again doubt your motives," the young geneticist said. "The Shanti virus is one thing, but Heartless a new level. One takes away a person's abilities and then kills them, and the other turns the person into heart-ravenous beasts that kills others…a bit of a tough call."

"Which is why I have you here to find the cure to Heartless," Bob said indifferently. Suddenly, a cell phone's ring tone rang. He reached into his pocket and pulled one out. Bob spoke for a brief moment before closing his phone and pocketing it. "Well, I best be off," he said, walking away. "I've got a meeting with the young Keyblade wielder girl."

"You better not recruit her!" Mohinder called out to him.

Bob paused and turned his head around to see the young man behind him. "I'm sure she _would_ be of use to the Company, but, as of now, we're not planning anything. So you can keep your mind off that subject and back to that cure." With that, he exited the lab.

"Events are about to take place," Mohinder whispered to himself. "_Terrible_ events…"

_**RG-RG-RG**_

With the tour continuing, Leon had leaded the heroes to Cid's hanger. And boy…was it huge: A massive room with smaller compartments for airship repairs, designing, constructing, and pretty much everything else a mechanic would ever do; each holding an incomplete ship. There were rows and rows of completed Gummi ships lined up near colossal doorways that lead outside. But, in the dead center of the room, sat a particular ship. It wasn't a Gummi, but a large, slightly rusted ship in the shape of a saucer with two mandible-like pieces sticking out the front. A satellite was mounted on the hull and the cockpit was connected to the right side of it. It looked like it went through a lot, but ever ready for more. "Whoa…" Daffy whistled. "Talk about air space."

The Duck laughed at his small joke as the others stared at with non-amused looks. He laugh slowly turned to a chuckled when he saw their dry looks. "Welcome to the hanger, kids," Leon said as Daffy's chuckled died out. "Where top-of-the-line ships are constructed, and ready for flight and battle. Come on, I want you to meet someone." He was walked ahead while everyone was still gazing around the area.

"Our starship wouldn't happen to be here, would it?" Trillian asked curiously, seeing some sparks flying from a welding torch nearby.

"Yeah, over there," Leon answered, pointing toward Dock 1. Yes, the ever-faithful starship, _Heart of Gold_ was here…and little kids were swinging around and hanging off it! Breaking things off, looking around to see if anyone noticed, and quickly sticking the pieces back on with a quick spit of saliva.

"Hey! You kids!" Zaphod shouted angrily, shaking his three fists at them. "Get off our ship! Don't make me come up there and give you young-ins a spankin'! My God, I sound just like my granddad. Trillian, blast 'em with the POV gun!"

"Can't. We gave it to Humma Kavula, remember?" Ford frowned, nudging a nearby ship part lying on the ground.

"D'oh!" the two-headed President smacked his forehead.

"Aw, don't worry. They may not look it, but they're actually pretty good ship engineers," a man called over to the group, wiping oil from his hands with a cloth. He was rather scruffy looking with short brown hair and a black vest over a white shirt. A laser pistol strapped to his belt. Closely following him was a giant, walking fur carpet. Okay, so it was a creature. But a tall creature that looked like it could tear the arms off Zaphod if he wanted…which is very likely. It also carried a blaster, but was carried over his back with a strap.

"Guys, I would like you to meet Han Solo," Leon introduced the man. "He's one of SeeD's generals, air field leader, and top pilot. And that's Han's co-pilot, Chewbacca."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Solo," Rika greeted with a smile, shaking Han's hand.

"So, you must be that Keyblade guy's daughter Cid's been talkin' about," he said. Unknown to Han, he's gotten a new admirer in Dot, whose eyes turned into pink hearts.

"Helloooooooooo, Indiana Jones!" Dot howled, leaping into Han's arms. "Hey, there handsome. I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca…the Third, but you can call me Dot. Enough about me, let's talk about how cute I am!"

"Kid, I'm married," Han deadpanned.

Dot shrugged. "I ain't picky."

"H-H-Hello, Chew-Chew-Chew…" Porky's stuttering was worse than ever. "Chew-Chew-Chew, how about I just call you Chewie?"

"Rrrrraaaggghhhhh," Chewbacca responded with a low growl.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, nice to meet ya. But mind telling me what they're doing to my ship?!" Zaphod demanded, pulling on his hair at the sight of multiple _Heart of Gold_ parts on the floor.

"It's their orders from Cid," Han answered, dropping Dot to the side. "You guys are going around the universe saving us and all that, right? Well, they're just making some adjustments to your ship. Like, adding weapons, tools and other trivial attachments you never need until you realize it at the last moment when you're under attack. You know…the basics."

"Hey, Loud!" one black girl shouted. "Do you think this ship needs this?" She held up the voice box to Eddie.

"I appreciate your hard work, pal," Eddie's voice said, "but do you suppose you could put me back? I'll be your best friend!"

"**NAH! I DOUBT IT,**" a boy with blonde hair boomed. "**JUST TOSS IT TO THE SIDE!!**"

"On second thought, I like these kids," Zaphod smirked at the sight of Eddie being thrown away.

"Time to continue, guys," Leon called, waving from the opposite end of the hanger by a door.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," Rika said, waving good-bye to Han and Chewbacca.

"Rika!" Trillian shouted from a short distance, picking up Eddie's voice box – which was singing _Gone Again_ by Patti Smith. "We are gonna hang back a bit to make sure the _Heart of Gold_ still functions properly."

_BOOM!!_

"Or at least in one piece," she sighed.

"'_We_'?" Arthur repeated, dubiously.

"Yes, _we_," Trillian sent him a glare that was spine chilling.

"Um…yes, Rika," he gulped. "We, that is Ford, Zaphod, Trillian, the Warners and I, are gonna hold back a bit."

"Whatever suits you," Rika shrugged, walking off with the last of her group of Daffy and Porky.

"Are really that gullible," Daffy asked with a quite serious face, thinking that Rika believed that Arthur stay on his own free will. "So…Leon was it? How many stops are left?"

"Just one," he responded. "I've got to introduce you to the two people that made SeeD come into existence."

"So, basically, they lent you a buck?" Daffy asked.

"Actually, a buck fifty," Leon said.

"………Did he just c-c-crack a joke?!" Porky whispered to Rika and Daffy incredulous. They nodded slowly.

"I'm scared," Daffy gurgled.

"Me too…" Rika squeaked. Soon, Leon had leaded three very frightened goofballs to a large conference room where the generals of Radiant Garden gathered for meetings and strategic battle plotting. Already there were two men. One being Bob, and the other being a good-looking, younger man with a relatively well-toned body. Rika speculated that he must've worked out a lot.

"Everyone, meet Robert Bishop and Bruce Wayne," Leon introduced.

"So, you must be that Keyblade child," Bob said, walking over to her as he pushed up his glasses as if to examine her. Rika groaned. Great, another old person just knowing her only through the Keyblade.

"You're name's Rika Itonami, right?" the other man, Bruce Wayne asked.

_Maybe I thought too soon,_ Rika thought, giggling. "Yes, Mr. Wayne. Mr. Bishop."

"Please, call me Bruce," he gave a calming smile.

"And what are we? Chopped liver?" Daffy frowned, blowing a raspberry.

"Oh, wow! Daffy Duck and Porky Pig, I was a big fan of your cartoons when I was a kid," Bruce said to the two, bending his knees to meet at their height level.

"…I like him," Daffy grinned widely.

"Y-Y-You would," Porky rolled his eyes, smirking.

Bob scowled at the sight, looking at his watch. What a waste of time. He coughed to get their attention. "Um, excuse me, but may I have a word with you, Leon?"

The gunblade-wielder nodded, following the man to the corner of a room as Rika, Daffy and Porky got acquainted with Bruce and discuss her journey. "What is it, Bob?"

"I was hoping to ask you if it was possible for you to show me Ansem the Wise's old computer system," he said. "I wish to have one of my employees examine the old files to see if there's any information concerning anything on the Heartless."

Leon shook his head. "I'm sorry, but the computer is off-limits. Even to you. Too high of a chance that someone could break in there and steal valuable information." He walked back to Rika, waving his hand nonchalantly. "Besides, all there is in the computer is corrupted data. No real use to anyone until our computer program, Tron can fix it and decipher it."

Bob frowned. "If you'd excuse me for a moment. Thank you for your time, though." He stepped out of the conference room and snapped his cell phone open. With a quick speed dial, he raised the phone to his ear. "I'm sorry," Bob said immediately as he connected. "I can't get access to the computer."

"_Don't worry about it,_" the opposite end's voice said.

"But what do we do now?"

"_Like I said, don't worry. I already spotted some of Maleficent's goons. I expect she'll try to invade Radiant Garden again. After she does, I'll send in some of ours to stir up more trouble. Then, using all that as a distraction, I'll be able to get to the computer with ease._"

"And should I still remain here?"

"_Yes, you serving as a trusted financial aide is too invaluable to pass up. You should send in your agents to assist Radiant Garden to keep hidden your agenda. I'll call you when this is all over._"

Chase Young closed his cell phone with a smirk.

_**End of Chapter 15**_


	17. Heartless, Nobodies & Soulfuls! Oh, My!

Just warning for those who haven't been keeping up with Japanese _Bleach_ anime: There are spoilers. Laddie-da. Let's continue, lol.

_**Chapter 16: Heartless and Nobodies and Soulfuls! Oh, My!**_

Meanwhile, in another part of Radiant Garden, there was man calmly driving his beat-up purple car through his beloved city, Springfield… Okay, it wasn't that much beloved. The man had a large belly, a 5-o'clock shadow over his mouth, and a completely bald except for two hairs that (somehow) were connected to his head on both ends. And he simply wore a pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt. According to his driver's license, his name is Homer J. Simpson. No joke, his middle initial is his real middle name. "Do-do-do-do-do," Homer hummed a cheerful tune that sounded like a familiar theme from a popular cartoon series. "Simpson. Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree…AAAAAAAAAAH!!"

_CRASH!_

"Oh, well! At least this day cannot get any worse…"

_**RG-RG-RG**_

At the end of the secret passageway, Pinky and the Brain stumbled upon Ansem's computer room. Pinky was at awe. "Egad, Brain!" Pinky exclaimed. "Look at the size of that computer! You think you can play _Bejeweled_ on it? Point!"

Brain just rolled his eyes at his moronic assistant. "We have more important things to work on than some mindless computer game," he retorted. Brain then walked over and climbed up onto the keyboard, Pinky following him. Brain hit a few keys with his foot, causing several things popped up onto the screen. Brain studied them carefully. "Apparently this computer is being used by the local denizens for the town's security system," he said. "There also seems to be a database on Xehanort's research. If I'm correct, this computer must also control Xehanort's Heartless machine." Brain began to dance a little on the keyboard, tapping on the various buttons. Soon, a window appeared on screen.

"Heartless Man-ooh-factory," Pinky read.

"The Heartless Manufactory!" Brain exclaimed. "This is it, Pinky! What we have been searching for!" Brain calmly held out his open, right palm into the air, creating a dark, swirling portal before it.

"Wooh!" Pinky gazed in wonder. "So Square-Enix-y!"

Brain didn't enter the portal, but rather a form started to come into focus in it. And the form slowly formed into the dark witch herself… "Maleficent," Brain bowed before her.

"Look, Brain!" Pinky pointed at the portal. "It's the Evil Witch from _Sleeping Beauty_!"

"Ignore him," Brain rolled his eyes. "We have located the Heartless machine. Shall I activate it now?"

"Perfect," Maleficent smiled eagerly. "But do not forget to insert the program disc."

"Of course," he bowed again. As the portal disappeared into nothingness once more, the Brain smirked himself. "Insufferable witch."

"Brain! How could you talk about our new friend like that? Traz!" Pinky scolded.

"Please, Pinky. We're simply just using her," Brain responded.

"We are? But I thought we wanted to take over the world?"

He sighed. "I am here to take over the world. But Maleficent wishes to drive it into ruin. I, on the other hand, desire to take over the world to make it a better place."

"Golly, Brain! You sure are a nice guy!" Pinky beamed.

"Of course I am." Brain pushed the enter key on the keyboard, which selected the _Activate Heartless Manufactory_ button. Soon, the humming of machinery warming up could be heard below. The Brain and Pinky focused their attention to it, jumping down, and ran to the balcony's edge. They peered over the balcony to the room far below them. There, a large mechanical arm hovered over a small pad. The electrode on the arm fired an electrical spark onto the pad. A bolt of lighting then surged through to it. A Solider Heartless' figure coming formed from where the bolt struck. Once completed, it hopped and walked off. Another bolt struck, and another Heartless was created.

"NAAAARRFFFF!!" Pinky marveled.

"YES!!" the Brain screamed joyfully.

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Maleficent stepped lightly to the edge of the cliff of the Dark Depths, gazing in to the distant sight of the city of Radiant Garden; the site where she attempted to overthrow many years ago. Luckily for her, she was immortal and didn't have to worry about such a superfluous concept as death. Somewhere out there, a grim reaper just sneezed. "Radiant Garden certainly has grown," Maleficent said. "It'll make the perfect military base."

"That's what you said last time," her henchman, Pete, reminded, stepping up next to her. "And we all know how that turned out!" Seeing the livid look on his boss's face, he flinched out of fear of her.

"You should've saw that coming," Pete's partner henchmen, Gantu, whispered.

"Things will be different this time," Maleficent replied.

"Indeed, things shall be different," the skeletal man with horns in red robes known simply as the Horned King agreed. "With those two lab rats able to penetrate SeeD's security system unnoticed, they could easily create our army of Heartless. We'll be destroy themselves from the inside out."

"But we must be wary of the Keyblade girl," the half-ghost, half-human named Vlad Plasmius warned. "I had my fair share of dealings with teenaged heroes, and they tend to be rather troublesome."

"Oh! Get a cat, would ya, Plasmius?!" a shadowy figure snapped. His entire body was cover into some sort of synthetic cloth that was completely black, making him resemble a full-body silhouette. All that was distinguishable was a pipe in his mouth.

"Spare me your blather, Father!" Plasmius sneered.

"You keep complaining about that Danny Phantom kid!" the silhouette man named Father mocked, waving his hands. "It's always 'Danny Phantom' this! Or 'Danny Phantom' that! And 'I shall have my revenge on that blasted Danny Phantom'! Geez, it's pathetic! At least he's a teenager who respects his adult figures. I have to deal with these little brats who fight our 'tyranny'."

"And you call me pathetic," Plasmius muttered.

"What'd you say?!"

"Silence!" Maleficent thundered, hushing to two bickering men. "The Heartless army should be completed soon. Then, we shall finish what I started a long time ago…"

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Chase Young peered through a strange-looking device that looked like an eagle-shaped binocular, spying on Maleficent from over the distance as he stood atop of the castle, Hollow Bastion. "Maleficent, so predictable."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you two dated once and she broke up with ya!" a skinny duck wearing an orange hat and a yellow jacket cackled.

"Knock it off, NegaDuck!" a short man with wide eyes behind a black mask and red hair shushed. He wore a black, tight jumpsuit with a large, white 'S' on his torso, a black cape, white books and high-tech looking gloves. He is Syndrome, a techno-savvy weapons distributor. "You don't want to piss off _this_ guy."

"Whatever." NegaDuck rolled his eyes.

Another member of Chase's group stepped over to the edge to observe the city. He wore fairly ordinary Japanese, white hakama, a white robe open in a narrow 'V' down his waist, closed to below his hips, then open again to the hem, which falls about mid-calf. His robe has long bell sleeves, into which he hides his hands. And, although not seen, he is carrying a short katana with an 'S' shaped guard in a sheath hung next to his hip. He was unusually thin, with just as unusually silver hair. But the most distinguishing feature about his is his facial expresion: his eyes slitted and an ever-present grin that stretched widely. His name is Gin Ichimaru. "Ah, this place reminds me so much of Soul Society…" Gin took a deep breath. "Can't wait 'til we burn it all down."

"That's creepy…" Jack Spicer whispered to Zim.

"Ooooh, I think I like him," Zim grinned deviously. "For a filthy human-pig, that is… We shall bring this world to its utter doom!"

"I'm gonna sing the 'Doom Song' now!" GIR the SIR unit said happily. "Doom, doom, doom! Doom-ie, doom, doom!"

"Can you _possibly_ focus this once, GIR?" Zim moaned miserably at his misfortune of a sidekick, but instantly silenced as last member for this mission towered over him. He was a black man with dark brown hair that was tied together in long dreadlocks that extended to his shoulders. And he wore a white, sleeve-less robe like Gin's, but closed all the way; long, black, finger-less gloves, and a thin, clear visor. And, also like Gin, he carried a katana, but his crossguard is shaped like a teardrop, and at the wide part of the teardrop are several teardrop-shaped holes; hanging off the teardrip's tip is a small ring. His name is Kaname Tosen.

"A soul as pure as his shouldn't be contained," Tosen said, patting GIR's head – that was still singing the 'Doom Song'. Zim looked a little freaked out by this man. "Chase Young." Tosen turned to the Haylin warrior. "I'm sure you remember our agreement?"

"Yes, yes," Chase answered, voice annoyed. "We only do enough damage to achieve our goal."

"Geez, you're no fun at all," NegaDuck frowned, putting away a device that looked like that'd trigger a bomb.

"I follow the path that-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" NegaDuck interrupted Tosen, opening and closing his right hand to mock him. "'Follow the path that holds the least bloodshed.' With that being your philosophy, I'd say you're a complete coward!"

"You _do_ realize that this guy could slice you in half in less than a second, don't you?" Syndrome deadpanned.

"I'm afraid of no thing or no one," NegaDuck sneered.

"You're just upset that you're second on the Public Enemies' list – after Dr. Slug," Tosen said.

"Ooh, burn!" Jack laughed.

"Why, I oughta…"

"Will you shut up?!" Chase hissed. "I think I've spotted something potentially dangerous to our goal."

"What is it, Chase?" Jack asked, trying to swipe the Eagle Scope from his boss and spot it as well. "Is it that cute Keyblade chick?"

"No," he answered, easily keeping the binocular device out of his minion's reach. "Something a little more…prehistoric."

_**RG-RG-RG**_

"Okay, show me what you got," Chef Ramsay said, crossing his arms.

Bender and Stitch saluted, both wearing their aprons and toques. "Chef Ramsay, sir," Bender said, "I present to you: our dish!" Stitch ripped off the metal pan covering a plate full of what appeared to be…

"What is this?!" Ramsay shouted, poking at their dish. "It looks like a (**BLEEP!**)-ing pigeon took a (**BLEEP!**) all over a trapeze walker with a _Kingdom Hearts_ zipper design!"

"That's weird…" Bender scratched the top of his metal head, turning to Stitch and whispered, "Didn't you add two containers worth of salt?"

"Wasn't that too much?" Stitch replied.

"Of course not!" the robotic chef shook his head. "That's ten percent less than the deadly dose!"

"Um…fellas?" Kronk piped up. "Why is your dish moving?"

"Oh, don't tell me this thing is (**BLEEP!**)-ing fresh?!" Ramsay screamed in Bender's face, splattering his face with saliva as Bender's eye-shield wipers activated to wipe it away.

"No…it looks like something out a really lame video game series featuring the crossover of a popular movie company and popular gaming company," Kronk said as he pointed to Bender's dish, which was suddenly standing up and moving around with a shaky motion.

"It's a Nobody!" Stitch gasped.

"Oh, that's a relief," Kronk released a thankful breath.

Ramsay smacked the upside of Kronk's head. "No, you Neanderthal! Not the real-term, 'nobody'! Nobodies, as in the evil beings looking for their hearts and are willing to kill for 'em!"

"Oh, really? Well, that's some rather poor naming, isn't it? I mean, Heartless are actually the heart of someone, while Nobodies are the bodies of that person. Rather topsy-turvy and ironic, eh gang?" Kronk mused. "Fellas?" No one was there except a group of Nobodies edging their way toward the poor idiot. "I better stop blabbering, and started dashing."

With that, he's gone.

_**RG-RG-RG**_

Dr. Cox was carefully looking through several past scientific archive books that Radiant Garden kept. There must've been something about the Heartless no one has caught before. So, he must focus all his objectives on finding a cure to the-

"DR. COX!! DR. COX!!"

He scowled, turning around to see JD running over to him. "Dr. Cox, tell the Janitor to stop touching me!"

"But I'm _not_ touching you!" the Janitor said innocently. Indeed, he wasn't. He was just simply holding out his right index finger less than an inch away from JD's head.

"He's is _so_ touching me!" JD shouted.

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"I'm not touching you."

"HE'S TOUCHING ME!!"

"Shut it, Pricilla!" Cox smacked the top of JD's head with one of the books. "And you!" Cox gave a shrill whistle to get the Janitor's attention. "Don't you have some cleaning to do?"

…

…

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!" the three men laughed hysterically.

"Heh, heh, but seriously," Cox wiped a tear from his eye. "Will you two GET OUTTA HERE?!"

"Geez, getting worked up over those two?" House asked, looking up from a laptop he was using. "I thought you were above that, Perry. I guess, for the first time, I'm wrong!"

"Oh, go suck on a pill, you cane-waving Sherlock Holmes," he sneered.

"And what's with the books?" House jabbed his thumb at Dr. Cox's books. "Honestly, the Internet is the way of the future!"

"And the lazy-ass way," Cox scoffed. "All you have to do is 'Google' something, and you're done! I prefer good, ol' reliable books. Not some alterable website that can give you wrong information. Such as, oh, I don't know…Wikipedia?"

House frowned. He was currently on said website. "Are you saying something, Coxie? 'Cause your ego's so high up, I can't hear from so down below."

"Um…Dr. Cox?" JD whimpered, tapping his mentor's shoulder.

"Not now, Newbie," Cox growled, glaring daggers at his rival.

"But, Dr. Cox. What's shadowy, darkly-shaded, really short, kinda chubby, has antennas and has a look of predatory and hunger in its eyes?"

"Is this some kind of a riddle?"

"No, I'm dead serious."

"I don't know," Dr. Cox answered, not taking his eyes off House. "Sounds like a Heartless. Why?"

"Oh," Janitor raised his eyebrows as he rested his arms on the top of his mop. "So that's what a Heartless looks like. There's just about…oh, I don't know…two…maybe…five hundred of those little suckers behind us."

Cox and House's eyes shot wide open as they turned to face where JD and the Janitor were staring. Hundreds of Shadow Heartless was crawling over everything and some materialized through walls. They had yellows eyes that stared with a terrible hunger for the delicious hearts before them. All of them crawled slowly and evilly to their prey. "Oh, Heartless," House nodded calmly.

"What do we do, Dr. Cox?!" JD sniveled pathetically.

"I don't know about you, Janet," Cox said serenely. "But I'm goin' to run away as fast as possible while these Heartless are distracted as they devour your heart." With that said, he bolted out of the room faster than hearing that his ex-wife is back.

"Ah, the thrill of the hunted…" House took a deep breath, before darting after Cox as well. "I don't like it!"

"Wait for me!!" JD screamed, following suit.

"Aw, don't see what's so bad about them," Janitor shrugged. "In fact, I think they're kind of cute! Hey there, little guy. Yow! You scratched me! That really hurt. Oh, so you all decided to play 'Pile-On-The-Janitor', eh? Well, bring it on! I can take ya!"

The Janitor was soon buried underneath a sea of Heartless.

_**End of Chapter 16**_


	18. AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Would you kill me if I told you I want to do-over the story? (multiple rocks are thrown at me) I'm sorry! But I wasn't satisfied with how this story turned out and I have to tweet it over! There were some significant plot holes I accidentally created for future chapters and I just didn't do this story justice… Please forgive me as I eventually post the NEW _Kingdom Hearts: Link to Life_ (no III this time). Hopefully I'll still make the same about of reviews at THAT one as I did in this one.


	19. AUTHOR’S NOTE 12 13 08

Hey, why is it that this story was really popular but when I remade it that no one reads it? For those who liked this story but didn't read the remake, can you please read it? I'd really appreciate it.


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